I’m sorry for all the times you were not loved
by those around you. I’m sorry you were left alone
when all you wanted to do was to make people smile.
It is a shame that others didn’t want your silliness,
your goodness, and your sweetness.
They didn’t see that you were made in my image
and that you are a part of me, a part of God.
I’m sorry that you were born with a sensitivity
that should have been protected, a gorgeous sensitivity
that should have been cultivated and honored
but instead was sent harsh words, gaslighted, ignored,
degraded, and abused. Your trusting nature and openness
was used against you time and time again,
but you met the world like an open flower,
full of love and sunshine. When you learned to close yourself off,
they called you damaged, as if you were
the one who did this to yourself.
I’m sorry that people were driven by jealousy, greed,
unchecked rage, fear, and other dark places in their minds.
I’m sorry that they lashed out at you without provocation.
You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry for their torture
and all the moments afterwards that you carried
shock within you. As much as I wanted to turn my face away
when people yelled at you, hit you, or otherwise abused you,
I stayed with you and observed everything.
I could never leave you. I am the life that wants to live,
wants to continue no matter the amount of trauma.
When your world was turned to rubble by fire
and you had only a handful of food,
I was the hand and I was the food.
I was the bird in the sky that made you dream of flight.
When people hated you for your religion,
the way you worshiped, your politics,
the color of your skin, your gender, your sexual orientation,
your country, your home, your clothes, your accent, your IQ level,
your school, your car, your age, your optimism, your sadness,
I was never sorry to know you intimately.
I love you without reserve.
I’m glad you invited me in when no one else was there.
I’m amazed by your capacity for love and grateful
for all the times you sent swirling,
beautiful energy in my direction.
You are the love you give, not the love you receive from others.
I see the love you give and remember it.
This is all that I remember.
I want you to love yourself the way I love you–
exponentially always expanding, infinite in potential.
I love you and want to give you complete peace,
joy, wonder, grace, and a miraculous, triumphant life of love.
© 2016 by Tricia Barker
I also made a video to accompany this letter from God. For years, I have required students to pick images to accompany some of their writing or another person’s writing on a video presentation. I enjoyed finally trying one myself. Here it is!