A Spiritual Perspective on Depression and Suicidal Idealization

With the holidays coming up soon, I thought it might be important to talk about depression and suicide and offer my perspective.  I know that many people who have survived abuse, neglect, or trauma in their families are often ostracized by these family members.  Holidays become all the more of a painful reminder of how alone they might feel in the world.  Those who are awakening and realizing spiritual truths that may transcend the perspectives of their family members might also feel some disconnection.

Whatever your situation might be during the holidays, I hope that you might treat yourself with great love and compassion during this time of year and through out the rest of the year.

I have a unique perspective on suicide because I viewed my suicide attempt while in the afterlife.  At the end of college, I had a profound near-death experience after a car wreck and was clinically dead for over two minutes during emergency spinal surgery.

During my life review, I saw my suicide attempt (which occurred a few months prior to my near-death experience) through the loving gaze of God. God had enormous love and compassion for me during this sad time in my life.  I felt completely supported by this loving force of God, and I could hear some of God’s thoughts about that time in my life.

When God viewed my suicide attempt, I felt that God wanted me to love myself more and know that I am deeply loved and supported by the universe, even when it does not seem that way.  God wanted me to place a high priority on my health and healing.   There were a myriad of choices available to me besides making an attempt on my life. I saw all these choices spin out around me as various light-filled paths.  I could have contacted friends, acquaintances, certain family members, called a hotline, looked for free or affordable resources through my university, searched for help at churches, or joined a recovery group.  There were many options I had besides the one that I picked in that moment.

At twenty-one, I did not know how to walk through the painful parts of my life, but if I reached out to others, I might have made a choice other than swallowing a ridiculous amount of painkillers and washing these painkillers down with a decanter of whiskey.  Amazingly, I woke up 36 hours later and realized that I had vomited, which probably saved my life.

At twenty-one, I didn’t realize that I could’ve tried new things I had never tried before.  Help might not have come from the people I wanted it to come from, but help and healing was available to me, and it is available to you too.  If you are suffering from a deep depression, keep walking through the pain and know that you are not alone on this journey, no matter how alone you might feel at the moment.  Find connection somewhere.

Through my life review, I saw that God also wanted me to be kind to others and ask them more questions about their lives.  An obsessive focus on myself led to greater depression and sadness.  Getting out of myself and listening to others would have brought more joy to their lives and to mine.

Suicidal plans and thoughts should be taken seriously.  If you are very close to taking your life, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.  If you are not in the U.S., please look up a local or national hotline and talk with someone immediately.  Utilize all resources available to you, and reach out to someone you know who is a safe, caring person in your life.  If you are not suffering from depression but know someone who is, encourage this person to take healing, self-care, and therapy seriously.

If you suffer from depression but have energy to focus on your health and want to apply the deeply loving force of God to your own situation, I can offer you some ideas.  Every journey is an individual one, so please keep searching for what works for you.  These are only suggestions.

  1. Self-Love: Read everything you can get your hands on about self-love.  Louise Hay is a great resource with many mantras that might begin to change some of your negative thought patterns.  Ingest a daily diet of uplifting material—posts, podcasts, videos, and books.  I can personally recommend the book How to Love Yourself (And Sometimes Other People) by Lodro Rinzler and Meggan Watterson, especially if you struggle with romantic relationship difficulties.  Here is a blog post I have written about self-love.  Self-love is essential and necessary.  Too often we are much hard on ourselves when we could offer ourselves great compassion instead.
  2. Start a Healing Journey: Every healing journey is individual, but consider researching diets and supplements that can help your mood.  Reference books like Prescriptions for Natural Healing might be a place to begin.  Focus on simple healthy pleasures each day.  Exercise and get vitamin D.  Try new things.   Depending on your financial situation, invest in a therapist and try out various healing modalities.  Everything from eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) which might help with PTSD to energetic healing modalities might offer you relief.   Addressing subconscious blocks through modalities like Psych K can be beneficial. Even if you do not have the funds for some of these modalities, you might be able to trade with certain practitioners if you have skills in a certain area.  You can learn specific yoga moves or Tai Chi exercises online that can improve your mood.  You might also be able to learn more about healing modalities and practices, and find comfort in the talks and free information from healers.  Start with therapy and work outward in the directions that you are led.
  3. Commit to a Spiritual Practice: Commit to a support group, recovery group, spiritual practice, church, or gathering that makes you feel connected to love.  Do not go somewhere or stay somewhere where you feel judged and bogged down by the negativity of others.  During my near-death experience, I clearly saw that love is all that matters.  Go somewhere where you feel love, optimism, joy, and release from your struggles.  I highly recommend a meditation practice, but like a healing journey, a spiritual journey is an individual one.  I can only emphasize the importance of commitment and practice.  A spiritual practice is beneficial when you commit to it over the long haul and through the many ups and downs of life.
  4. Volunteer: There is usually someone who is less fortunate than you.  Even if you are in a dire position in life, you can volunteer at an organization that already helps you.  While volunteering, you might meet others and listen to them with love and with hope.   The point of volunteering is to do something to make the lives of others easier or better in some way.  As you give what you can give, your troubles lessen and you feel connected to a greater whole.  Like exercise or any other activity that we know is good for us but we resist, volunteering can have a profound effect on our consciousness.  When we feel useful or helpful, our self-esteem and self-concept changes for the better.  Mostly, we simply find joy in being connected to others versus suffering in isolation.  We are communal and need one another.  Find safe people and form bonds.  If you are too anxiety ridden to volunteer somewhere, then find a way to connect with others and do not suffer alone.
  5. Feel the Love of God: Take time in your day to imagine the force of God that near-death experiencers talk about with longing and love.  Try to imagine the most loving force on earth.  What would that feel like to you?  Write down what you would like God to be like for you and what you would like to feel from God right now.  Take those positive feelings and multiply them by 70 million.  Believe in this love as a reality and not a concept.  Close your eyes and imagine what this love would feel like.  Bring this love into every single one of your cells.  Fill your body with a glowing light that is the purest form of love imaginable.  This is your birthright and your true essence.  Know it.  Share it.  Believe it.
  6. Gratitude can rewire your brain:  Keep a gratitude journey and write down what you are grateful for each day.   Watch this Ted Talk and try some of the other suggestions at the end for creating more happiness in your life.  Hopefully, this speaker makes you chuckle a bit.  Laughter is one of my favorite medicines.

Safe, Eternal, and Free

We are all part of love and all part of God.   We are all capable of living as love and the light of God which knows that it is always safe, eternal, and free no matter what is occurring on the physical, three-dimensional plane.

I know that the minute I left form, I forgave everything and everyone instantly.  Pain is contained in our stories and in this physical realm, but we do not have to wait to find freedom only in death.  Freedom can be found through walking in faith and practicing forgiveness.  The concept of faith seems simple, just as forgiveness does, but these feats are heroic.  To step into the unknown and believe that God will meet us at every step requires the courage of a seer who has lost sight of the future.  To be beaten down at every turn and still have faith, requires the strength of a warrior. To be betrayed, abused, neglected, wounded, and abandoned and to forgive, so that one’s own life might grow bright again, requires a terrifying amount of strength. 

For many NDErs, our mission (whether to work as ministers, teachers, healers, speakers, writers, or simply to walk through this world as love) is mainly to do our best to hold on to the memory and energy of God’s love and show others how to access this love of God.  That is what God showed me when God told me that my purpose would be to teach and remind others of their light.  Our connection to God’s love is aptly symbolized through light because light makes things clearer. 

We can all access love, healing, and peace at any time.  Anyone can have a mission focused on love.  All it requires is communion and faith in the most loving force imaginable, a love that we all need more of in our lives.

The more often I hold on to the energy and love of God, the more often I can help others access this love.   As a teacher, there were so many times that I couldn’t believe that it took so little effort on my part to open a student’s heart. All I had to do was see any one of my students– really see them, witness their struggle, and then offer some hope, not a ton of hope either, just a thread.  It takes so little effort to be kind to others, yet it makes such a major difference in the quality of their lives and our own.

Many NDErs feel disheartened about returning to form because too often people do not go out of their way to be kind.  Navigating a world of people in great pain who have forgotten their connection to light is a tough hike.  Still, I am glad that God sent me back against my wishes.  I may have suffered, I may have cried on this journey back in form, but I have stayed determined to keep pushing forward, to keep believing in the beauty of a higher calling–a calling which forces me to remember and to teach what love truly is. Love brings us great peace and moments of knowing that we are perfect just as we are. 

Is It Possible to Make Peace with an Abusive Parent After Experiencing the True, Amazing Love of God?

The Love of God:  One of the most shocking experiences of my near-death experience was feeling the love of God.  This love of God accepted me exactly as I was—all my thoughts and feelings.  I did not have to change my thoughts to please God.  I did not have to worry about whether God liked the look on my face or my interpretations of the world.

God loved me infinitely just as I am.  I didn’t have to change or pretend in any way.  God didn’t call me names, hit me, lock me in a closet, or invalidate anything about me.  God loved me without end.  I felt completely supported and without a single worry, experiencing only bliss, peace, and deep understanding. God immediately forgave me for all self-harm and showed me how to love myself more deeply.  God did not make me relive or see any of the abuse I had survived in life. I had never known a love like this  growing up or what it felt like to be supported.

One of the most common attributes of a narcissistic father or mother is the inability to understand or care about their child’s thoughts and feelings.  This parent is not able to validate their child’s feelings as real or important.  Empathy is simply out of the question.  If the child of a narcissist expresses displeasure with a parent, the parent will often explode with fury, threaten, storm, or rage.  The parent might become violent, beating or confining her child or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.   Once the child is strong enough to fight back, coldness and verbal abuse are usually the tactics.

motherMy Story:  Growing up, anything that I thought or felt, especially if it was different from my mother, made her angry, withholding, cold, or critical.  Often, this abuse was even spiritual in nature because she used the Bible as a reason to beat me.

However, Mom allowed and encouraged reading, so that was the way I could escape my lonely life.  I read at a 12th grade level by second grade, and I devoured any book I could get my hands on in the library or garage sales, often fantasizing that I might be sent away to a boarding school or that I might magically encounter a nice couple who would mentor me.

In the isolation of my home as an only child in the country, Mom painstakingly taught me to worry about her sadness, her depression, her angry feelings about my dad, her physical complaints, and her thoughts about the world and everyone in it. She coached me on who to like in her family and who not to like in her family.  If I liked someone she didn’t like, she rolled her eyes.  If she stopped liking one of my few friend’s mothers, then I was told that I no longer liked this close friend of mine either.  She taught me to be her counselor, her best friend, and her confidant.  I pretended as best that I could to survive my childhood, but honestly, at best there were only fleeting moments of fun.

takingcareNo one really witnessed the full extent of my mother’s abuse.  My father was rarely there, and I’m an only child. When my father’s parents stopped by unannounced, mother made us hide in the closet to avoid them.  They loved me so completely as their only grandchild, and she didn’t like it when I received that kind of adoration.  I remember a moment when she argued with my grandmother that I didn’t need a toy that I wanted.  My grandmother looked at her and said, “I want this child to know that we love her.”  The moment felt powerful to me, and I remember feeling excited at the cash register. We didn’t see them as much after that moment.

Around Mom’s family, she controlled of the narrative and talked about everything she sacrificed for me.  Mom certainly worked soul-crushing, blue-collar jobs to pay for my private Christian education through seventh grade.  The problem is that I would have rather had more food, decent clothes, trips to the doctor, and a public education where there were more people in my class than three or four students. I longed for more socialization.

Mom presented herself as a loving, doting mother, but in private I felt sucked dry.  She wanted me to make up for all the love she felt she didn’t receive from her own mother and her husband, but this scenario seemed a setup for a dramatic failure.  When did I get my needs met?  I don’t doubt that she feels that she loved me, but from my perspective most of what I experienced didn’t feel like love.   I feel compassion for the young, lost woman who raised me, but my biggest lesson in life has been learning how to feel great compassion for myself.

Mom rarely considered my honest needs. Sometimes, I got lucky and wanted the same things that she wanted.  We both enjoyed walks in nature, fresh fruit, and dogs as pets.  We both enjoyed a few of the same movies, though my tastes eventually changed and different from her always meant wrong.  For a few years in childhood, I experienced the bliss of owning a horse, and that freedom to ride fast and far away from my life meant everything to me.

pleaseSince Mom was all I knew of love, I thought love meant sacrificing every one of my feelings and ideas to make someone else feel a little better in their miserable life.  When her mental illness took a turn for the worse when I was in high school, I realized that she needed help; however, she refused help from the people I told about her frequent suicide threats.  There were many nights when she was alone with that pistol in her drawer, and when she threw the door open suddenly I always ran out of the house to put distance between us.  I didn’t know if she was going to shoot me first before she shot herself, and that level of terror changed something within me.

Though I had good grades, I didn’t realize how broken I was emotionally by the time I left for college, and I had no idea how to work on healing.  By the time I had my near-death experience my senior year of college, so much inside of me felt devastated and then in a single instant—-healed.

The near-death experience granted me a huge dose of optimism, love, and connection to God and angels.  Immediately, I felt whole and alive inside, despite my wounded body.  During my physical recovery Mom took care of me, and we got along better than ever before.  She had remarried, changed jobs, and seemed much happier.  I wish I could say that the near-death experience completely healed our relationship, but I can only say that the near-death experience eventually helped heal the gaping hole inside of me.  We don’t choose our family, but we can choose supportive friends.

neededAnd, no matter what happened in life, I could always remember and return to what it felt like to be loved by God.  No matter who validated me or didn’t validate me, that moment in the presence of God showed me my worth.  I never knew that I was worthy of even an ounce of that love and consideration.

I’m sure my mother doesn’t realize she is worthy of that level of love.  Her religious beliefs are ones that validate her narcissism and deep need to feel superior to others.  In her mind, only she, and a few select others, know the “truth.” The way everyone else interprets the Bible and God is incorrect.  She owns the market on being right as she stockpiles food and fears the apocalypse is around the corner.  She’s been fearing that since the 1980’s.  I wish she felt less fear and more connection to a loving God.

I’ve seen interviews with other near-death experiencers whose parents felt blessed to hear their stories of the afterlife.  My mouth dropped open in amazement at what it might have felt like to have a mother who learned something from me.  There were snippets of time when Mom understood the power of that love I experienced on the other side, but ultimately she tried to convince me that I had experienced a lie—tricks from the devil.  How ridiculous!  Most of my life with her felt like a trick, not love.

When To Tell Your Story:  Many people wait until their abusive parents die before they talk openly about their experiences.  Tony Robbins waited and describes deep love and forgiveness for his abusive mother.  However, several others have decided to not have  contact (or minimal/harmonious contact) with abusive, narcissistic parents and speak openly to help others come to the best, safest conclusion for their lives.  I am enormously grateful to the work and teachings of Lisa A. Romano who speaks openly about her experiences and helps so many people.

The sooner people begin a healing process after surviving an abusive home, the sooner they can begin to heal and have healthier relationships.  Abused children sometimes don’t have children of their own out of fear, but if they start healing work soon in life they realize how different they probably would be as parents than their own parents.

During my NDE, God told me to return and to work as a teacher.  Since that time, I have been a mentor and caring person in the lives of many of my students who have survived abusive homes. Abuse of many varieties is all too common in family units.  Telling a snippet of my story to students who were in pain allowed them to tell me what was occurring in their lives so that I could get help for them.  One of the greatest gifts of pain is the ability to point others in the direction of healing.

I know that many spiritual people want to center love and peace in all situations, no matter how toxic their family members might be.  For those who can do this, I honor that ability.  I tried to do this with my mother, but I recently had a defining moment when I realized that my life, my health, my well-being, and my trip to the emergency room didn’t matter as much to her as the contents of her refrigerator.  She endangered my life and did not care.

When I realized how little my life mattered to my mother, I knew I had to take a break from her.  I don’t know the future, and I don’t know what healing might be possible in her life.  Maybe a rebirth can occur and a different type of relationship between us can manifest, but this might also be the death of our relationship.  I know people with childhoods like mine who haven’t spoken to their parents in ten years.  All I know right now is that I want people to pray for her.  I want other people to center love and peace in her life.  I want her to know the love of God that I felt in the afterlife, and I want her to know that I wish our story was a different one.

img_1882Your story might offer a different outcome with a toxic family member.  There might be a way for you to calmly listen to your family member and center kindness without putting yourself in danger.  Your love might transform this person over time.  I hope so, but if you decide not to have contact with someone in order to heal yourself from narcissistic abuse there are many support groups online and otherwise. Choose the sanctity and healing of your own life.  Life isn’t a “who is the most spiritual contest.”  In fact, if someone is playing that game, that person is probably a narcissist.  Love who you can authentically love.  Love is not torture; rather, it is easy as breathing when it is right.

freedom

New, Extraordinary Identity

4914320-if-you-want-to-be-happy-quotes

I’ve heard it said by many people that the words “I am” are powerful words.  Why not claim the best for yourself?  I am the light, a transformer of darkness.  I am lucky.  I am the embodiment of love, peace, and goodwill.  I am blessed, grateful, effulgent, healthy, free, and optimistic.  I am washed clean by every rain, and made stronger with each sunrise.

Claim whatever positive traits you desire, even if you are in truth working toward these states of being.  You’ll get there quicker by telling your subconscious what you want instead of what you don’t want.

Last week, I realized that someone, most likely movers from a moving company, stole my checks and other personal information.  I was out of town when I realized my bank account had been drained, and the violation was shocking.  I reached for equanimity in the middle of that storm, but I was shaken up and had to lean on others.  Luckily, I realized that I have many supportive people all around me.  Those who do not know how to be supportive have drifted out of my life, and I live in a calm, beautiful state of being.

Life simply couldn’t get any better.  Why?  Because I claimed it, focused on the good, and refused to let a demanding situation be anything other than it is—a place which connects me to others.   Every trying circumstance in my life has allowed me to help others, and this will not different.  I am a part of something greater than myself.  Like a symphony, a storm, a comet, an eclipse, a thunderous herd of elk under bright moonlight, a floor of dancers with good rhythm and smiles, I am part of the flow of life and fully present for every moment of this ride back to the stars.

It is possible to walk into any situation free and happy.  You can also walk out of any situation just as free and just as happy.    You can walk away from rooms of discord, and walk into ones of peace, harmony, festivity, bliss, and sweetness.

Someone stole my identity.  So what? They can have that old identity.  They snatched the last of my troubles.  They took the lingering remnants of my negativity.  They stole my wounds and left me free and happy with a new bank card, a membership with LifeLock, greater happiness, and a new way of looking at this amazing world.

Though I have learned to be more protective of myself and others, I have also learned to let go of pain that isn’t my own and doesn’t serve me.  Bad things sometimes happen to good people, but many extraordinary, uplifting, miraculous, fortuitous things happen to good people as well.

2fa8573d5b55489027a6da118e785549

The Other Side is On Your Side

free

What if you didn’t worry about limits or restrictions? What if you could dance around doubts and jump over boundaries with grace? What if you gave your best effort and didn’t care about the results?

What if your cultural conditioning led you to all the wrong destinations and situations, and I told you that you could dive into the unknown, break through your current circumstances, and glide, possibly even jitterbug, around obstacles?

sunsetarizona

What if you could easily stop doing things that stifle your potential and create your own way of living?  What if you could stop suffering by accepting everything as it is, but also by shifting into the energy of creation of what you want?

What if I told you that the person, place, or situation that you keep banging your head against will never change?  You and your actions are the only thing that can change.  What if I told you it is o.k. that you have made the same mistake countless times, but you don’t have to make the same one this time?

mandog

The past is the past, but you can walk into the world now as if you are entering the greatest race of your life.  You can bet all of your money on yourself.  Whatever the outcome, you are going to run your heart out and get closer to your destination than if you stay stuck in fear.

On the other side of fear is freedom.  On the other side of the dark, cavernous, unknown places we must traverse to get where we want to go is a great, new beauty.

horse

Your soul has markers, breakers, and when you swim out beyond where you have gone before the sunlight is brighter and the landscape is different. You emerge with a glow, with an undeniable, intangible, distinctive quality.

Your ego is the right size, but your aura is huge.  Your smile gleams in the nighttime, and there is no doubt that the other side is on your side.

couple

 

 

 

Questions from Readers: What Can We Do? How Can We Help?

helenkeller

People often ask me about how to find optimism or how to anchor love in a world full of tragedy and horrifying acts.  I am stunned sometimes myself by life because I am human and vulnerable like everyone else.  I only know with certainty that we do not take the pain with us.  We only take the love.  That tells me that when something unthinkable happens; for instance, when your friend’s daughter or son has been murdered, you must be the one to be willing to do anything to help your friend grieve and feel more loved.  You become the love that works to counter unthinkable tragedies.

You cry and grieve with your friend.  You stay there even when your friend pushes you away.  You remind him or her that grief is necessary and takes a long time to process.  You tell your friend to join a support group of other grieving parents.  You tell him or her to reach out and comfort others, so that you friend will be reminded how we are all connected. You tell your friend to keep doing loving things for himself or herself even though the grief is so intense that he or she can’t even taste the food or hear the music.  Eventually, a little joy will break through.  Going through the pain is the only way to slowly get out of it.

Connection and helping others is one of the most profound gifts we can give ourselves.  On days, when I could barely get up all the floor for all the grief I carried inside of me, I know my grief evaporated from 7 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. when I was surrounded by the joy, confusion, pain, anger, silliness, happiness, and grief of my students. Solving one of their problems, or even just being a present, caring witness to their pain, made me feel that my life was of value and not random or meaningless.  Look to God for the strength that you feel that you don’t have at certain times.

People often ask me about why someone they know or barely know would threaten or terrorize them.  For that question, I want to use the wise words of a friend and energy worker who works for the greater good of this world.

He says that, “Each time someone threatens or terrorizes, they are working with the opposite of love, and no good will come from this state of being to the person making the threats. These people’s minds are horribly confused and fearful, and there is no respect for the existence and goodness in others.”

I think it is also important to realize that what terrorizers say is not the truth and only a reflection of their own darkness and pain.  As sensitive beings, we can internalize these attacks and wonder if there is any truth to their words, but there isn’t.  There is no truth in darkness, and there is no eternal quality to hate.

My friend goes on to say that, “….to be effective as a healer and actually work for the greater good, and have energy flow from ascended masters, angels, and the Divine Feminine, you need to come from a place of unconditional love. This means you need to ask for help in stepping away from the ego. You work for universal and unconditional love. Viewing the self through the lens of unconditional love empowers your work and elevates you tremendously, and your abilities increase exponentially.”

Sometimes, we simply learn how to help heal others who have been terrorized in the ways we have been terrorized.  We bring in that unconditional love for ourselves until we are free and we pass this love on to others.

People often ask me how they can help others and what they can do with their limited time and resources.    

Years ago, I read the book 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life and decided to secretly (though not now) give gifts in one certain way for each month of the summer break.  During the school year, I am busy helping students, but in the summer, I only teach online classes and have more time. This is a hot month in Texas, so my focus this month is on homeless people.  I give whatever I can or have on me when I see a homeless person—usually I give money, but sometimes a water bottle, an extra pair of sunglasses, a smile or wave if I have nothing, an apple, a meal, my leftovers from a restaurant, and once I simply gave a man my prayer beads.  I give a part of myself to every person I see on these hot streets; their faces are now etched into my mind.  I am connected to them, instead of being completely separated behind the glass of my car window. What I am doing is not much; however, I know connection and helping others is where stories begin.

Years ago, I also read the book Same Kind of Different As Me which will soon be turned into a movie.  The setting is Fort Worth, Texas, and the story is about a deeply religious woman dying of cancer and her wish that her husband mentor a homeless man. All three of their lives are transformed by this connection.

If you are stumped as to how to help others, you might simply begin by reading about all those who have helped others, and you might get some great ideas.  Also, you might simply wait and listen.  When someone says that they need something, try to provide it or guide them to the right resource.

Sometimes, simply listening and being fully present is a great gift, especially in a society where too many are glued to their phones, not grounded, and not present even for their loved ones.  There are many organizations that need volunteers.  You can find ways to help, and remember that the people who you connect with are where the stories begin.  Design an amazing story for your life.  The greater the love, the better the story.

chacha

 

 

 

 

 

You Deserve Love and Positive Energy        

 silenceisn'tempty Too often, mental programs from our past tell us that we are not worthy of being loved fully.  We are not even aware of how much shame, anger, disappointment, and sadness we carry in relation to our choices, our pasts, our bodies, and the overall state of our lives.

The smallest exchange from many years ago can negatively shift how we think about ourselves.  We can hold on to a slight or wound which eventually settles into our bones in a permanent way.  However, the person involved who hurt or offended us may have meant very little by their words or actions and possibly may not have considered the effect on us at all.  These people might not be aware of their emotional abuse or they may have such deep insecurities of their own and not know how to behave rationally.

Most of our damaging mental programs began in childhood, but these settings can be adjusted with some attention and love. Our own wisdom and guidance can guide us to greater levels of awareness and awakening if we only give ourselves the gift of uninterrupted time and space.  It takes patience to look inside and pay attention to the intuition and wisdom working its way into our lives.

The more painful the situation, the more heroic the journey is when you go inward for healing instead of acting destructively outwardly.

Living in a culture that financially stretches most of us, a culture that pays little attention and offers so little hope of transformation to those who are traumatized and deeply suffering, is challenging and depressing.  Certainly, we need a loving connection to others through community, but beyond connection to others, we also need to know that that we each possess the ability to clear out the stress and pain in our own lives.  Negativity can accumulate quickly in our minds and systems, and deep love and care for your own well-being can be like a large waterfall of positive, clearing energy.

Have you ever observed someone close to you come home after a trying day at work?  Their tough day is over, yet this person simmers and stews in the energy and irritations of their day.  They do not realize that they are free and can drop that burden.  All the negativity of the day can be washed away without alcohol, overeating, binge watching television, etc.

Certainly, good habits like spending time in nature, exercising, and eating healthy foods can help reset your energy, but an intent to manifest a more positive state is crucial. Going within and opening yourself to a more positive state of being can reset everything.  Gravitating to messages of healing can also help you.

Perhaps, one of the keys to staying young is staying teachable and realizing that we all have much to learn through spiritual development and energetic changes.

Nothing screeches of old age more than the couch potato who knows it all and “it all is going to hell.”  Bullshit….everything is about to change miraculously.  Everything is about to become much more fun and entertaining—that is the mind of the child and the mind of someone who can manifest change and enjoyment from even simple moments in life.

Stress and pain can be washed away with the intent to become someone different.  We can choose what we desire from the world energetically and become that frequency.  If you want to feel love, send love to your heart, your mind, and every cell of your body. Don’t laugh this idea.  Try doing this in the middle of a moment of anxiety or pain, and see how you can transform yourself.  If you can’t love yourself in this way, how can anyone else offer you this love?

If you want to feel freedom, go stand in an open field and face down your fears like they are wild bulls running at you, and you have the power to stop them with one of your fingers.  You have the power to dance out of the way of the danger in your mind.  You can transform the tigers of your nightmares into sweet kittens.  If you want to let go of your anger, write a short story and kill your tormentors off or imagine them old with dementia. They’ll get there.  Imagine you are the one serving them dinner, and they don’t even know who you are.  Have compassion or simply be done with them.  Whatever the case, let go of the negativity!

Walk into the light of all that you want.  Stress can be washed away by realizing that a part of us is always renewable.  Of course, we have our genetic predispositions and our current circumstances, but we also have a powerhouse of unused potential.  We have a connection to guides and galaxies of possibility.

The simplest of moments can shift your life, and the energy you put into your efforts will eventually transform your life.  You are worthy of love, not disregard.  You are worthy of positive connections, not draining ones. You are worthy of your own love, so start there and look to the stars and heavens for blessings.

So few people look upward and wait for the answers.  Be one of the ones who is open and receptive.  Your dreams aren’t going to instantly materialize just from sitting in your backyard and looking at the moon, but that moment might reset your energy and allow you to start working toward what you want with a more positive version of yourself—a version that is open to vast amounts of goodness, love, and mercy every remaining day of your life.

Self-Love and Healing

oceanpic

The journey of life is a beautiful and strange one, filled with joy and loss.  The trick might be to see these moments as simply part of the whole of our existence.   A focus on our spiritual purpose balances out these experiences.

Self-Love: I’ve recently started blogging for The Relationship Blogger.  In this post, I talk about how one of the lessons from my NDE was how to become more of my best friend through the journey of this life no matter what I survived.

Without self-love, there is manipulation and drama in relationships.   However, self-love grants us peace that no grasping at satisfaction will ever bring.  That feeling of being o.k. as you are is priceless.

Healing: The manuscript that I recently completed has a small portion which talks about learning to parent the wounded inner child inside of me.  Wounds can’t be wished away or pushed aside; they will continue to crop up and get triggered if you don’t actively work to release and heal them.  My strongest desire for young people is that they work on family of origin wounds and release these patterns early in life before these patterns get played out in various ways.

It would be amazing to see larger groups of college students open to the potential of energetic healing, as well as traditional forms of healing through churches, counseling, programs of recovery, mentorship programs, and success/inspirational workshops. Relationships are vital and important to everyone, and some college classes like sociology and psychology offer helpful information to students about healing and transformation.  However, healing sometimes comes from having a loving focus on oneself and an intent to heal.   Every human being is different and the modalities for healing are numerous–everything from nutritional therapy, functional medicine, sound healing, energetic healing, etc.

After my NDE, I am particularly sensitive to energy.  I’m a fan and connoisseur of energy work. Because of this, I’ve decided to share the names of those whose work I have tried and deeply benefited from. I recently had an amazing session with Tara Rose .  I’ve worked with shamans and had affirming, healing sessions.  However, something about this session with Tara blew me away.  I’m always looking for ways to bring more of the divine light into my life, and her session encouraged and greatly facilitated that experience.  The healing work focused on a major wound in my life, and I still feel certain energetic changes many days later.  If you try a session with her, I would love it if you let her know that I recommended you.

May each of you love and take great care of your inner child.  I know mine better now that I have ever known her.  Get to know yours, and be playful about the process.  One of the lessons from my NDE was to remind people to be like a little child.  Find a way to deeply enjoy life and be in the moment.

My inner child dances under the stars. She sends her wishes to the moon when it is full, and watches those wishes magically descend into her life. She has unexpected, divine messages and intellectual breakthroughs. She finds peace and healing in the embrace of nature. She is amused by creative, fun moments, and powerful, intuitive realizations. She feels the love and healing energy of angels and archangels all around her. The part of this inner child that is in touch with the light will never die.  

The part of you that is in touch with the light will also never die.  There is healing in remembering this truth.

As Tara Rose reminds us on her website,  a true healer shows us our own capacity to heal and transform our lives, and love is always the greatest transformer.  I wish everyone much healing and happiness no matter where your journey might be leading you.

heart.jpg

 

 

 

6 Tips For Successful Meditation

I am pleased to add another guest post.  Please check out Odette Cecilia’s lovely website.

Are you a fan of meditation, yoga, and spiritual studies? If you are one of those fitness freaks who takes your daily exercise ritual as something quite serious, then you should never ignore the importance of adding meditation techniques to your daily exercise regime. Ultimately, you will find a sense of well-being and happiness through this practice and experience more synchronicity and positive feelings.

Developing the right kind of meditation practice requires some effort. You must determine what your body wants and what it requires.

In other words, determine your personal mantra in order to receive the maximum benefits from your meditation ritual.  Once you start this practice, you will feel more comfortable and vibrant inside out.

Here are 6 smart ways to help you master the art of meditation.

  1. Find A Corner:

 meditationpic1

The most important aspect of a successful meditation experience is to find a perfect spot in your home. This can be your room, a guest room, another place in your home, or even outside with least amount of disturbances.

If you are unable to sit on the floor, you can use a chair or even a sofa. Sit in an upright position and enjoy a solitary, confined aura of complete bliss.

  1. Take Deep Breaths:

 meditationpic2

Once you have adjusted yourself in your favorite spot and you are ready to start with your meditation practice, make sure that you take few deep breaths to let your body come into a zone of peace or bliss.

Close your eyes, focus on something that makes you happy.  Take few deep breaths to let go of any negative thoughts holding you back.

  1. Free Your Mind:

 meditationpic3

Don’t restrict your thoughts as you set off with your daily meditation routine. Let your thoughts go free, thus, setting your mind at peace with itself.

Since it is human nature to let the thoughts wander, freeing your mind from any kind of negative vibe is as important as exercise is to the whole body.

  1. Begin Slowly:

 meditationpic4

Meditation is also considered to be a form of exercise. Therefore, while you begin adding meditation to your daily routine, make sure that you start off slowly and steadily. Give it a good 20-25 minutes on the first day to create peace within your mind and body.

In this way, you can easily give yourself ample time to become well-adjusted with the routine.  Also, you can take time out for other chores as well.

  1. Be An Early Bird:

meditationpic5 

As per the experts, the best time to meditate is the early morning when there is peace and calmness all around.  Mother Nature is at her very best at this time.

Not only will practicing meditation the first thing in the morning keep you refreshed the whole day, it will also ensure a healthy mind and body in the long run, and your overall health will improve.

  1. Set Your Mantra:

 width_640_235-Meditation

Meditation is much more than a regular exercise regime. It can help you to embark on a spiritual journey that will give you the ultimate experience of staying fit and close to God at the same time.

Moreover, setting up your mantra for life will give you a purposeful approach towards your daily activities and help you to perform better in life.

Author Bio:

 OdetteCecilia

Odette Cecilia, originally from Venezuela, learned intuitively to meditate through creative visualization. Her depth of spirit led to her interest in and love of the healing arts, and most specifically, the use of sound frequencies and music to enhance spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being in others.

 

The NDE As A Preview Of Awakening, Enlightenment, and God-Consciousness

 

Many people on a spiritual path long for an awakening or feel that they are awakened and struggling toward more frequent moments of enlightenment.  What is different about a near-death experience is that the experiencer may be far from interested in spiritual matters before his or her experience.  He or she may not be on any spiritual path of any kind, yet the experiencer comes back with a deep knowledge of a spiritual reality.

To be taken from 0 to infinity in a few seconds is a life-changing experience.   For those of us who have had profound NDEs, we scramble afterwards trying making sense of our life before and after the event.

In that first year after my experience, sometimes my connection to the other side was intense and all-consuming.  Other times, I looked forward to returning to the business of my life back at college; however, I knew I would never be exactly the same.

Though NDErs are often not capable of holding on to the blissful states they experience in the afterlife, these states are memorable.  In a recent video, I saw Howard Storm discuss the importance of loving others.  Though love appears to be a “simple” mission, it is actually a VERY tough mission.  To send love and light to people who seem intent on destroying us requires us to reach new heights of patience, understanding, and wisdom. Love is sometimes simply preventing someone from continuing to harm others.  Love might be anchoring a consciousness of healing for those who have been hurt in similar ways.  Love is action and energy.

In this video, I’m not asserting that NDErs are all enlightened souls, but I am putting forth the theory that many NDEs awaken the experiencer.  What we do with that awakening depends on each life situation.

Awakening: The minute I stepped out of form and saw “behind the veil” or rather saw that my spirit form continued after death, I was in a sense awakened.  I comprehended many things through telepathic communication and simply being in the very visible presence of angels/light beings whose presence I had never seriously considered.

No matter what happened in my life after my NDE, I could never brush away this knowledge.  I could not unlearn what I knew to be true; there is much more to reality than the material world.  In fact, from that vantage point, the earth experience appears to be a place where we choose to forget our connection to divinity and focus on our individuality.  In that darkness, some of us wake up and realize there is more to life than struggling.  A NDE shows us clearly that a growing connection to the light of God is what is most important.

What is true in the spiritual realm is goodness, mercy, and love.  I took none of the pain of my life with me, and pain and struggle didn’t seem to be the point or worth remembering.  Love and kindness to others seemed to be the main point of existence.

After a NDE, many experiencers feel less fear and more love.  They become less judgmental, have changes in sleep patterns, extra sensitivities to light, taste, touch, electronics, and energies.   As those on a spiritual path struggle to make sense of their awakenings, NDErs also struggle to integrate their profound experiences into their lives.

Enlightenment:  During my NDE, I moved from a place of observing what was happening to my physical body and the awareness of my spiritual form to a growing connection and awareness of many others and the consciousness of God.   As I left the hospital, my consciousness merged with the consciousness of others. I began to lose track of what was “my consciousness” and the consciousness of God (who seemed to be leading me through this experience) and other people. This non-dual state is the real deal (enlightenment) and what so many people long for while in form.  I felt a transcendental, awe-inspiring oneness with others, nature, and God in that state.

Most NDErs are disappointed to return to our personal perspectives, our corporeal forms, and lives because in that eternal space we were connected to many other people and had a much clearer, greater understanding.  We know that returning to form will be like being born again.  Life situations will surely force us back into our individuality, our wounds, and our experiences.  Many of us would rather stay in that place of great unconditional love and connection but choose to come back for the sake of loved ones, or in my case, a mission from God.

The beauty of that heavenly landscape in the afterlife seemed all the more beautiful because I longed for nothing else.  In form, our mind and emotions often trick us into dissatisfaction, but in that place I had no dissatisfaction.  I wanted for nothing.  I believe this part of my NDE gave me a glimpse of enlightenment.  I longed for nothing other than that moment.

Returning to form largely shakes us out of this place of oneness, but to be there even for a short while is amazing.  I’ve heard people talk about enlightenment as fleeting states and something we strive for as humans.  Maybe there are certain states of mind that are associated with higher levels of our potential, and as we calm our nervous systems down we can stay in these states for longer periods of time.  In a world of irritating, triggering news stories and other disturbances, it is hard to stay in these states for long periods of time.

So, how do we deal with a toxic world?

We detach from it at times, and we engage passionately and lovingly with it more often. We send love to every human being on the planet.  That’s hard, but we can start with the easy ones and the people in our vicinity.  We are striving to have minds that are no longer focused on thoughts of greed, hatred, and delusion while living in a world filled with these things.  This is difficult, but we don’t dislike ourselves if we fall into negative states; rather, we give ourselves love and attention and heal these parts of ourselves so we might be able to show others how to heal.  We are less attached to feelings of all kind, and they tend to blow through the nervous system quicker with this type of practice.

Gratitude is, of course, also important.  That was an easy thing to do right after my accident.  I was literally grateful for each breathe, each painful step, and each bite of food.  Clearly, I was alive, and this alone seemed a miracle.

I remember holding on to grudges for a long while before my NDE.  I’m not saying this isn’t a trait I still work on in myself, but I am surprised when I allow myself to feel something completely and then watch the feelings wash away.

States of enlightenment/equanimity doesn’t mean being walked on by others or not protecting the innocence of those around you.  Equanimity doesn’t mean acting sulky or aloof.  In fact, the more jubilant states of mind are a better indicator of equanimity.  Being compassionate, present, and fully engaged is a hallmark of equanimity.  A deep love for life and a desire to make the lives who are near you better in small in large ways is an indicator of equanimity.  Instead of judging everyone, you might pray for their healing, joy, and freedom.  Freedom is something we are, a space inside of us that makes us smile, not something we try to create.

Dysfunction and drama seems to be in the very DNA of the American culture from our movies to our families, so how do we become more peaceful and less reactive?  How do we let go more quickly?  I can’t answer this in a post because thousands of books are written on this subject.  I only know that a focus on what is lovely and true can begin to undo what is not lovely and true.

In the presence of God, there is no “I’m right/You’re wrong” dynamic.  There is only love, acceptance, oneness, and beauty.

God-Consciousness:  For NDErs who journey to the presence of God, we usually feel speechless about this experience.  My heart completely opened and was completly healed in the presence of God.  There were no cracks, no holes, no darkness, only pure bliss.  The deepest form of connection with the most loving force imaginable is hard to describe.  God told me to remind others of this instant connection to source, and I wanted to stay in that place because it felt amazing.  There was nothing better, so why would I want to return?  I knew I couldn’t hold on to the power of that connection and love.  Back in form, I’ve realized that remembering the oneness with God is my true, real journey in life.

How can we possibly embrace everything as part of the divine while living this life?  It is easier to accomplish when you focus on your spiritual purpose.  If that purpose is to bring joy and happiness to others, then that is what you do.  You live out your purpose relentlessly.  In my life, I am grateful to have a platform as an educator.  I feel goodwill toward every student who walks down the hall or sits in my classroom.  I want these students to have the best possible educational and emotional experiences.  I want them to learn all that they need to learn. I see education as a form of heaven on earth.

As our nation is highly divided right now, I’ve found it difficult to extend the same goodwill to some people on social media or in other areas of life.  At some point, I stopped and asked myself, “Are you a teacher in all walks of life or just at that campus?” I decided that I want to be a teacher in all areas of life.  Much like it took some time to become a seasoned professor, this goal might take time, but my intention is to center the energy necessary for bringing greater awareness, knowledge, love to everyone I encounter.

God is pure, divine light, and God-Consciousness is living in that state of absolute divinity.  In the presence of God, there is simply love and immediate healing of anything that needs healing.

NDErs might sometimes think that spiritual paths complicate ideas that instantly manifested for them in the afterlife.

However, one of the powerful lessons from NDEs is that these enlightened states of being are part of who we essentially are, and we can access these states with faith, practice, and intention.