The Life Review in a NDE

Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Life-Review:  One of the common experiences during a near-death experience is a brief or extended cinematic view of one’s life.  Seeing our connection to others and seeing life through the vision of another person is a powerful lesson.  During my life review, I saw into the hearts and minds of people I had not known very well.  In life, I had judged them as not particularly interesting for a variety of superficial reasons.  During my life review, I clearly witnessed that a good heart and spiritual connection made these people very beautiful and precious to God.

I learned from that one scene in my life review to connect more frequently with people around me and to see people’s hearts, not their outward appearances, their accomplishments, their money, their charisma, etc.  For instance, wealth can be a tool to bring more goodness and prosperity to many people, or it can be used to use and manipulate others. There is nothing negative about accomplishments, money, or power, but the heart matters more.   Just like the line in the song “Desperado,” it is important to remember that “The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet.”   The same applies for the King of Hearts.

My life review was quick and zeroed in only on what I should learn and what I could do better in life.   I judged myself and my actions mainly because I could see into the hearts and minds of others and observed my limited thinking.  God seemed to be guiding this life review and let me feel what I needed to feel from these scenes.  I understood that people I had written off had love and concern for my well-being, and I wished that I had been more open and kinder to them both in my thoughts and in my actions.  I saw that God sees our hearts much more than anything else.

According to the website, there are four categories of life review descriptions.  “NDErs categorized them based on  1) how the life review physically happened; 2) content; 3) aftereffects; and 4) other.  Many described the life review like a re-run of a play, a film, or watching it on-screen.  Others commented on the content of the life review.  NDErs generally noted that they were the ones who judged themselves.  During the process, they saw the good, the bad, and cause and effect of their choices.  Many reported that they had a review of feelings, rather than a review of events.  Some say that their review consisted of feeling others reactions to their earthly actions.  The other large category were the aftereffects.  Not only did participants state that it was important to love and help others, but they also indicated that their relationship with God/Jesus was more important to them.  NDErs appreciated life more, and stated that it was important to have a sense of purpose.  The smallest category was ‘other’ in which NDErs reported not learning anything or they had a life review but couldn’t remember it.”  (Quote taken from

Throughout my life since the NDE, I have tried to be more open and supportive of others.  I don’t judge people in the same, superficial ways that I once did.  We all are works in progress, but I know that lesson was catered especially for me at that time in my life. Young people can be overly concerned with fads, fashions, musical tastes, literature, and sub-cultures in a way that doesn’t matter as much as we get older.

The heart, however, is the gem, the treasure, the best bet.  

When Carl Jung asked Chief Mountain Lake why he thought all white people are mad, Mountain Lake replied, ‘They say they think with their heads.’  “’Why of course, says Jung, ‘What do you think with?’  “’We think here,’ says Chief Mountain Lake, indicating his heart.

Let us all think more frequently with our hearts.



Be the Light of Your Own Healing


Why did I pick the phrase, Be the light of your own healing? I picked it because the angels gave me this phrase, and I usually listen when they speak. During my near-death experience, God was depicted as a light for me. The angels sent healing light through the surgeons into my body. I was told to return and teach and remind others of their light, and I saw these light-filled souls along a river.

Life is always flowing and moving in new directions, and I can see in my mind’s eye how each of us might intersect another’s life for only a moment.  If in that moment, we can remind others of their light and divinity, we have made the world a better place. Sometimes, we walk beside someone for a longer while, hopefully increasing the light and flow of goodness in each other’s lives.

Our divine right is to be in alignment with God, to make wise choices, and to demonstrate love and kindness on this earth. When you are in alignment with the light of God, you can reprogram your subconscious to feel deeply worthy of health, healing, and goodness. You realize that to be the light of your own healing, you must also reach out to help others.

One of the most healing aspects of my near-death experience was being in the presence of an all-loving, supportive, understanding, caring God. For the first time in my life, I wanted for nothing. In the presence of God, I felt perfectly at ease. This was a miracle for me because I had suffered quite a bit during my twenty-two years on earth. I had a heart heavy with great emotional pain, but in an instant, the light healed that pain and granted me more love than I imagined possible. After that moment in the presence of God, I could never forget what that unconditional love felt like.

We are most in alignment with the light when we feel worthy of love and when we serve others. The minute we start wondering what we will receive in return for our service, the gift of service is no longer service but manipulation. What we receive for our service and gift of light to the world is a communion with the energy of unconditional love. Love is all that remained in the afterlife, so creating moments of giving love to this world is truly all that matters.

Helping others and sending light to this world saved my life countless times.  I’m not saying that all service should be without a monetary component. I would love to see a society that valued those in helping professions greatly. However, those who are in the flow of divine love and grace are mostly concerned with how magical it is to be a conduit of healing for others.  They are not worried about their status as much as how many bright memories, love-filled memories they can create while here.

A few years ago, God spoke to me loudly and audibly and told me that my teaching mission in the educational field had completed. I have taught English at the junior high, high school, and community college level. I assumed I would teach until retirement, and I was shocked to hear this. God also let me know that I was free to do “whatever I wanted to do.”

Quickly, I realized I wanted to write about my near-death experience, my teaching mission from the afterlife, and the struggle to survive as a young woman in this culture. My journey before and after the NDE has not been easy, but every experience has allowed my heart to expand to include others who have suffered in the same way.   There were days and there still are days when I wrestle with my mind and its tendencies for depression.  I wrestle with it until I get negative thoughts in a choke-hold.  I make sure that a positive focus wins, no matter how much effort it takes to get there.  Most days, it doesn’t take that much effort.  If I remember the feeling of being in the presence of God, I feel an immediate shift.  I know you can make these shifts in your lives.

Change is heroic.  Every person who has committed to his or her growth, health, and success has had to change. 

I still enjoy working as an educator, but I feel called to share my life with others who are interested in spiritual growth and healing.  I want to create communities and classes focused on greater healing and inner freedom.  I plan to do this through Facebook groups, and I hope to schedule more speaking events across the country.   Someday, I know I will be talking in a bright green field, and we will stand up to dance together.  Peace on earth is possible one loving community at a time. We will find ourselves in these communities more often.

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, and follow the Facebook page that I created last night with the guidance of an amazing expert who helps many people achieve their dreams and beautifully launch their ideas into the world.

In time, I will connect more frequently with you about classes, free offerings, and ways to incorporate more joy and light into your lives.


Safe, Eternal, and Free

We are all part of love and all part of God.   We are all capable of living as love and the light of God which knows that it is always safe, eternal, and free no matter what is occurring on the physical, three-dimensional plane.

I know that the minute I left form, I forgave everything and everyone instantly.  Pain is contained in our stories and in this physical realm, but we do not have to wait to find freedom only in death.  Freedom can be found through walking in faith and practicing forgiveness.  The concept of faith seems simple, just as forgiveness does, but these feats are heroic.  To step into the unknown and believe that God will meet us at every step requires the courage of a seer who has lost sight of the future.  To be beaten down at every turn and still have faith, requires the strength of a warrior. To be betrayed, abused, neglected, wounded, and abandoned and to forgive, so that one’s own life might grow bright again, requires a terrifying amount of strength. 

For many NDErs, our mission (whether to work as ministers, teachers, healers, speakers, writers, or simply to walk through this world as love) is mainly to do our best to hold on to the memory and energy of God’s love and show others how to access this love of God.  That is what God showed me when God told me that my purpose would be to teach and remind others of their light.  Our connection to God’s love is aptly symbolized through light because light makes things clearer. 

We can all access love, healing, and peace at any time.  Anyone can have a mission focused on love.  All it requires is communion and faith in the most loving force imaginable, a love that we all need more of in our lives.

The more often I hold on to the energy and love of God, the more often I can help others access this love.   As a teacher, there were so many times that I couldn’t believe that it took so little effort on my part to open a student’s heart. All I had to do was see any one of my students– really see them, witness their struggle, and then offer some hope, not a ton of hope either, just a thread.  It takes so little effort to be kind to others, yet it makes such a major difference in the quality of their lives and our own.

Many NDErs feel disheartened about returning to form because too often people do not go out of their way to be kind.  Navigating a world of people in great pain who have forgotten their connection to light is a tough hike.  Still, I am glad that God sent me back against my wishes.  I may have suffered, I may have cried on this journey back in form, but I have stayed determined to keep pushing forward, to keep believing in the beauty of a higher calling–a calling which forces me to remember and to teach what love truly is. Love brings us great peace and moments of knowing that we are perfect just as we are.