Month: July 2017

The Other Side is On Your Side

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream and to bring more healing to this world.

free

What if you didn’t worry about limits or restrictions? What if you could dance around doubts and jump over boundaries with grace? What if you gave your best effort and didn’t care about the results?

What if your cultural conditioning led you to all the wrong destinations and situations, and I told you that you could dive into the unknown, break through your current circumstances, and glide, possibly even jitterbug, around obstacles?

sunsetarizona

What if you could easily stop doing things that stifle your potential and create your own way of living?  What if you could stop suffering by accepting everything as it is, but also by shifting into the energy of creation of what you want?

What if I told you that the person, place, or situation that you keep banging your head against will never change?  You and your actions are the only thing that can change.  What if I told you it is o.k. that you have made the same mistake countless times, but you don’t have to make the same one this time?

mandog

The past is the past, but you can walk into the world now as if you are entering the greatest race of your life.  You can bet all of your money on yourself.  Whatever the outcome, you are going to run your heart out and get closer to your destination than if you stay stuck in fear.

On the other side of fear is freedom.  On the other side of the dark, cavernous, unknown places we must traverse to get where we want to go is a great, new beauty.

horse

Your soul has markers, breakers, and when you swim out beyond where you have gone before the sunlight is brighter and the landscape is different. You emerge with a glow, with an undeniable, intangible, distinctive quality.

Your ego is the right size, but your aura is huge.  Your smile gleams in the nighttime, and there is no doubt that the other side is on your side.

couple

 

 

 

Questions from Readers: What Can We Do? How Can We Help?

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 3 Comments

helenkeller

People often ask me about how to find optimism or how to anchor love in a world full of tragedy and horrifying acts.  I am stunned sometimes myself by life because I am human and vulnerable like everyone else.  I only know with certainty that we do not take the pain with us.  We only take the love.  That tells me that when something unthinkable happens; for instance, when your friend’s daughter or son has been murdered, you must be the one to be willing to do anything to help your friend grieve and feel more loved.  You become the love that works to counter unthinkable tragedies.

You cry and grieve with your friend.  You stay there even when your friend pushes you away.  You remind him or her that grief is necessary and takes a long time to process.  You tell your friend to join a support group of other grieving parents.  You tell him or her to reach out and comfort others, so that you friend will be reminded how we are all connected. You tell your friend to keep doing loving things for himself or herself even though the grief is so intense that he or she can’t even taste the food or hear the music.  Eventually, a little joy will break through.  Going through the pain is the only way to slowly get out of it.

Connection and helping others is one of the most profound gifts we can give ourselves.  On days, when I could barely get up all the floor for all the grief I carried inside of me, I know my grief evaporated from 7 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. when I was surrounded by the joy, confusion, pain, anger, silliness, happiness, and grief of my students. Solving one of their problems, or even just being a present, caring witness to their pain, made me feel that my life was of value and not random or meaningless.  Look to God for the strength that you feel that you don’t have at certain times.

People often ask me about why someone they know or barely know would threaten or terrorize them.  For that question, I want to use the wise words of a friend and energy worker who works for the greater good of this world.

He says that, “Each time someone threatens or terrorizes, they are working with the opposite of love, and no good will come from this state of being to the person making the threats. These people’s minds are horribly confused and fearful, and there is no respect for the existence and goodness in others.”

I think it is also important to realize that what terrorizers say is not the truth and only a reflection of their own darkness and pain.  As sensitive beings, we can internalize these attacks and wonder if there is any truth to their words, but there isn’t.  There is no truth in darkness, and there is no eternal quality to hate.

My friend goes on to say that, “….to be effective as a healer and actually work for the greater good, and have energy flow from ascended masters, angels, and the Divine Feminine, you need to come from a place of unconditional love. This means you need to ask for help in stepping away from the ego. You work for universal and unconditional love. Viewing the self through the lens of unconditional love empowers your work and elevates you tremendously, and your abilities increase exponentially.”

Sometimes, we simply learn how to help heal others who have been terrorized in the ways we have been terrorized.  We bring in that unconditional love for ourselves until we are free and we pass this love on to others.

People often ask me how they can help others and what they can do with their limited time and resources.    

Years ago, I read the book 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life and decided to secretly (though not now) give gifts in one certain way for each month of the summer break.  During the school year, I am busy helping students, but in the summer, I only teach online classes and have more time. This is a hot month in Texas, so my focus this month is on homeless people.  I give whatever I can or have on me when I see a homeless person—usually I give money, but sometimes a water bottle, an extra pair of sunglasses, a smile or wave if I have nothing, an apple, a meal, my leftovers from a restaurant, and once I simply gave a man my prayer beads.  I give a part of myself to every person I see on these hot streets; their faces are now etched into my mind.  I am connected to them, instead of being completely separated behind the glass of my car window. What I am doing is not much; however, I know connection and helping others is where stories begin.

Years ago, I also read the book Same Kind of Different As Me which will soon be turned into a movie.  The setting is Fort Worth, Texas, and the story is about a deeply religious woman dying of cancer and her wish that her husband mentor a homeless man. All three of their lives are transformed by this connection.

If you are stumped as to how to help others, you might simply begin by reading about all those who have helped others, and you might get some great ideas.  Also, you might simply wait and listen.  When someone says that they need something, try to provide it or guide them to the right resource.

Sometimes, simply listening and being fully present is a great gift, especially in a society where too many are glued to their phones, not grounded, and not present even for their loved ones.  There are many organizations that need volunteers.  You can find ways to help, and remember that the people who you connect with are where the stories begin.  Design an amazing story for your life.  The greater the love, the better the story.

chacha

 

 

 

 

 

I Know I Should Ignore Trolls, But I Decided to Respond Because Responding Made Me Happy

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 6 Comments

gordonia

Although I usually delete and block trolls on YouTube, sometimes I can’t keep up with the comments because I am too busy.  During a layover on my flight home from a great vacation, I decided to respond before deleting these comments.  I hope that my responses might make others who are putting themselves out there in the public sphere feel better.

GMan IV writes,

 “why would you go to any church anyways? You been on the other side, what could you gain from any church? Be it Christian, Mulsum, New Age or whatever. Plus why are you so “nice” not to offend anyone? Why dont you blast these religions and tell poeple No there is no Jesus that you must believe on or else you will Burn forever in Hell or No there is no Allah where a woman must dress from head to toe even in the 120 degree desert and there are no 30 virgins waiting to greet you when you die. What good of a TEACHER are you to just sugar coat everything and not tell people the TRUTH but allow them to continue on in their silly worldy view of religion and God? I thought you came back to TEACH humanity???”

My Response

Dear GMan IV,

The Dali Lama says kindness is his religion. Amma says love is her religion. I say do whatever it takes to give yourself and this world more loving kindness. If church helps you become a kinder, more compassionate person—go there. If dancing in the forest and making organic popsicles makes you a kinder person—do that. If my YouTube videos make you angry and make you want to blast me, find something that gives you peace brother.

Find something that makes you want to spread kindness…it matters more than you realize. You get to feel the perspectives of others in your life review, so you should spend your time trying to uplift others. Create moments filled with love for yourself and others.

As a side note, I do believe in Jesus, and heard the words, “Be like a little child” coming from the light of God.  My problem with some Christian churches is the fear and judgment that is often emphasized.  Love is all that matters and all that we take with us.

Additionally, if it is teaching that you so deeply desire, as luck would have it I happen to be an English professor. Please note that Muslim is not spelled “Mulsum,” and people is not spelled “poeple.”  “Wordly” is an unusual spelling, and I’m not sure if you meant loquacious, verbose, circumlocutory, or prolix.  Perhaps, you simply meant to type “worldly,” but in the context of your statement you might search for a more appropriate word like “limited” or “outdated.” Remember “You been” should be “You have been” or “You’ve been.”

To better understand the variety and nuances of world religions, you might consider reading books or even taking a course in comparative religion.  Be sure to review apostrophe rules, and avoid all caps.  I appreciate your interest in near-death experiences.  May you be blessed, and consider yourself schooled.

Sincerely,

Professor Barker


Getty’s Randomness writes,

‘Btw people confuse NDE’s with obe’s. Obe can happen and Satan/lucifer the angel of light. Can & does give people awesome experiences that are in fact life changing to mis lead & mis guide people with good hearts & good intent. he gives them very real experiences. if you have an exp & you come back & your not putting Jesus christ #1 in your life then your exp was from the angel of light. very real, yes but not from or jesus.”

My Response

Dear Mr. Randomness,

I think people must be afraid of what they haven’t experienced themselves and don’t understand.  Shortly after my NDE, I was handed a pamphlet, much like what you are saying Mr. Randomness, and I laughed loudly.  You see, I could feel the very energy and vibration of fear in this pamphlet even before I read the words.

The angry minister who wrote these words felt threatened by near-death experiencers, and he desperately wanted to discredit them.  Their open-mindedness and inclusiveness of others didn’t jive with him.  He preferred to sell limited world views, fear, fear, and a little more fear.  The Bible was written by man, but the spirit of Jesus is a very modest, humble, loving, tender, gentle spirit.   You might check out The Book of Q:  The Original Sayings of Jesus.  It is important to strip away interpretations of the Bible and meditate on the love of his messages.  The message of love runs through many religions and teachings.

You can always talk yourself into a box and stay there by hating everyone and everything that challenges you, or you can open your mind and be o.k. with continually growing and learning.

I’m a fan of Jesus, but not a fan of churches or people who try to discredit the most amazing, life-altering moment of my life.  I know it scares you to think that you may not have everything figured out, but take a deep breath and relax. As for my experience, I was dead, not dreaming.  What I experienced was not an OBE or voodoo/hoodoo from Satan/The Angel of Light.

Though I don’t have everything figured out either, Mr. Randomness, I do know that I connected with the most powerful force imaginable—God.  Every crevice of my soul was filled with the light of God.  I wanted for nothing, and I didn’t want to return to this world full of darkness. However, God told me that I had to return and teach.  I was instructed to remind others to live in the light and to spread this goodness across the earth.

My best advice for you is to open yourself to the love and light of God instead of engaging in YouTube squabbles.  Jesus wants you to love your neighbor as yourself. First, you must learn to love yourself, so that you can love your neighbor and all those on those interacting in online environments.  Jesus doesn’t want you to bully near-death experiencers. Please set an example of the love of Jesus with love, not with attack.  May you be blessed.

Sincerely,

A Woman of the Light


Another YouTuber writes,

“Looks like she’s gained some weight since her last video a couple of months ago.  She needs to work out and take care of her God-given temple.”

My Response:

Dear Troll,

First, camera angle is something that everyone should understand when snapping selfies or making a video.  If the camera is eye-level, people will look much more like themselves.  If the camera is positioned below them, they may end up looking like they have put on weight or have a double-chin.  The camera was positioned way below the stage in that video.

Whatever though.  I speak to give others comfort, not to participate in a runway show. One woman dying of cancer saw that particular video and communicated that it gave her peace about the dying process.  She was a teacher like me, and she passed away recently.  Offering hope to the terminally ill is one of the many reasons why I tell my story.

Secondly, I freakin’ love myself, even though I battle like the warrior that I am with thyroid disease, fibromyalgia, and anxiety.  I love myself even when I have to teach eight classes and am pushing hard to revise a manuscript, leaving me little time to work out.  Life is about harmony in the long run, not complete balance simultaneously. Sometimes, a person must sacrifice one portion of their life when they are working intensely in another area and that is fine.

Next time you comment on a woman’s appearance, consider the fact that she might have a terminal illness or might have suffered a miscarriage.  Wouldn’t you feel bad if you made someone who is hurting feel even worse?  I would like to protect that woman from your comments.

There will always be people who love me and those who talk badly about me, but I choose to feel good about myself constantly.  I also know that having a bright soul can illuminate someone who is mostly skin and bones or several hundred pounds overweight.  This body is something we should treat with great care, but a heart that doesn’t look at others with compassion is a heart in deep need of healing.

Troll, you need the love and light of God much more than the “perfect woman” you keep looking for and never finding in real time. If you do have a woman in your life, I am certain that you will not make her happy or make her love you more by cutting her down with your words. 

Someday you will become frail, get sick, and die.  You will shed your attachment to form and realize the truth of your journey.

I promise you, the truth of your journey is not to get on YouTube and troll and track people.  You might actually create ripples of harm and have to examine this in your life review.  I won’t take your words with me, but you will.  You own them.  Be careful what you say to others.

I’ll leave you with a poem by Lucille Clifton because her life force, her energy, her celebratory tone is something we all should embrace.  We should all love ourselves this much.  I know I do!  May you be blessed, Troll!

Sincerely,

Fine Just as I Am

homage to my hips

these hips are big hips

they need space to

move around in.

they don’t fit into little

petty places. these hips

are free hips.

they don’t like to be held back.

these hips have never been enslaved,

they go where they want to go

they do what they want to do.

these hips are mighty hips.

these hips are magic hips.

i have known them

to put a spell on a man and

spin him like a top!

 

 

Journalist Leslie Kean with more impressive evidence for an afterlife — Sharon Rawlette

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / Leave a comment

(I don’t have time to review all the books people have suggested that I read.  However, I enjoyed this book and found a helpful review of the Leslie Kean’s new book Surviving Death. She is an impressive journalist and adds much credibility to the topic of NDEs.  Enjoy this review!)

I almost didn’t buy Leslie Kean’s new book Surviving Death, because I was worried it was nothing more than an overview of the afterlife evidence I’m already quite familiar with. But while there was certainly some description of the seminal case studies, there was also so much new material that it was absolutely worth the money I paid for a […]

via Journalist Leslie Kean with more impressive evidence for an afterlife — Sharon Rawlette

The Value of Hard Work and Visualization

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 4 Comments

margaretmead

Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I love the story of William Kamkwamba who was indeed a child starving to death in Malawi.  Despite not being able to afford an education, he found a free book in a library in a language he didn’t know how to read.  He used the diagrams to build a windmill which brought electricity to his parent’s home.  People called him crazy as he gathered the parts from junkyards to build this windmill.  He endured ridicule, but the strength of his spirit prevailed.  He was noticed by his community once he generated electricity for his family’s home.  A journalist wrote about him, and William Kambwamba eventually spoke at a TED event. 

Kamkwamba got noticed because he tried and struggled against unbelievable odds. 

Did he change his vibration or think positively?  He did focus on what was possible with his limited resources.  He used his energy to struggle against odds instead of being beaten down by them.

What if his experiment hadn’t worked?  What if he died before the journalist found him?  I would not think of him as someone who didn’t think positively enough.  I would think that he tried his best to move his life and his society forward.  Possibly, his efforts would have inspired someone else in his community to continue to focus on what is possible.  We forget that collective perspectives and collective manifestations are at play. Individuals sometimes cannot breakthrough a collective force in exactly the manner they would like to break through.

I appreciate Cokie Robert’s description of how women in her generation were pioneers.  They were the first ones to become journalists, surgeons, and politicians.  Did they stop when they were not paid equally to male counterparts?  Did they stop when they could barely make it on their salaries?  Of course not.  But, it is never easy to fight collective manifestations and societal norms.  Cokie Roberts could have given up and said, “My society is unjust and doesn’t pay me for the same work equally.”  Obviously, she pushed on and prevailed, and her net worth decades later might be significantly more than she imagined it might ever be when she was struggling.  We marvel at what people do despite all the odds stacked against them.

Many people give up in the stage where things get hard.  You are already starving…how are you going to find the energy to build a windmill?  You are working two jobs and not getting child support from your husband.  Your boss doesn’t pay you well for your work and pays your male counterparts more.  Do you write, speak about your situation, bring attention to this problem to help other women who are struggling after a divorce and trying to succeed in male dominated fields?

Do any of these actions come from positive thinking or changing one’s vibration?  Maybe, but action is the key.  You must believe your efforts might reveal a brighter future to find the energy to work harder than you thought possible.  Otherwise, you won’t put in the action.

Manifestation theories do not usually emphasize how difficult and frightening and hard it is to move from one situation to a better one.  Day after day, you go to battle and you make such small progress that your goal hardly seems worth the struggle.   You are tempted to give in, give up, take an easier route, but if you stick with it, time goes by in the midst of hard work.  You look up and you suddenly have the degree you wanted.  You have the job you wanted.  You have a luxury car you spent close to two decades hoping to buy.

Positive thinking hasn’t taken throngs of people immediately out of welfare to riches, but it has given lots of people enough energy to work hard to change their lives.  The occasional person hits the lottery, but most people have a story of late nights, tears, and sacrifice when they are chasing a dream.

I’m an educator, so the main way I witness lives transform is through education.  Many of my students have families, health conditions, and full-time jobs.  Though college isn’t the only way to manifest a dream, it is a good model.  There are a lot of hoops to jump through. You must take classes you don’t enjoy, and get along with people you wish were not in power.  Sometimes, you get lucky in the middle of all that work.  You find inspiration or a skill set you didn’t know you possessed.  You find a mentor and make the right connections.

Do you have to feel worthy enough to receive good grades?  To a degree.  You must advocate for yourself, use tutoring services when necessary, and ask questions of professors.  You must be humble enough to know your weakness and find ways to strengthen these areas.

Egos that are too fragile can’t find a way to grow and learn.  I’ve had students in my English classes who couldn’t write a single complete sentence.  When one such student received a failing grade on her first essay, she yelled at me saying, “All my other English teachers told me I was a great writer.  What is wrong with you?”

Very calmly, I point out that the first sentence of her essay was a fragment.  The next sentence was a run-on sentence.  The next sentence was so convoluted that I couldn’t ascertain its meaning.  I rewrote these sentences and asked her to fix some of the others. I told her that I could help her become a better writer and succeed at community college. I offered to tutor her, but some egos prefer fantasy to reality.  Other times, students react with humility, dig in, and learn all that needs to be learned.  Is it unfair that the school this young woman attended failed her?  Of course, it is, but she had choices.  She could begin a somewhat painful learning process or she could live in denial.

In many areas of life, people stay in situations because they fear the work it would take to get where they want to go.  Hard work is what isn’t emphasized enough in combination with positive thinking.

I had to believe in myself to apply for scholarships to college despite all the voices telling me that I shouldn’t try and I should just stay in that small town.  I had to work hard to have the kind of grades worthy of receiving a scholarship, and I had to spend many long nights rewriting my scholarship essays instead of drinking beer at a party in a pasture.  (Oh, East Texas…)

Did I visualize success?  You bet I did.  Did I do the work required for success?  I did more than I thought possible, and there were so many scholarships that I didn’t receive despite my best efforts.  However, I refused to give into despair, and at the latest possible hour the checks showed up in the mail; those scholarships made a difference on my journey.

Manifestation is more like that—you put in unbelievable hours of work.  You believe in your own success, and you are eventually rewarded.  Is it all that you dreamed it might be?  Usually not, but at least you are going in the direction you wanted to go.  Then, you enjoy yourself for a while and start working on what you want next.  Some people focus more on the magic, the guidance, and visualization.  Others focus more on the work.  Most goals are accomplished because of some combination of both, but without doing the work you kind of look silly.

You don’t get muscles without lifting something.  You might not go to the most expensive gym in town, but you are using your own body weight in floor exercises.  You are lifting a hay bale or lifting something.  Are some people more naturally athletic than others?  Of course, but you change your body over time and what you change in your own life matters to you.  Depression keeps people stagnant, so visualization can certainly help people find the energy to walk in the direction of a dream.

Remember….this human experience is about learning.  Our limitations are not something we should judge or dislike; rather, they are the challenges that we learn how to rise above.

The idea of changing one’s thoughts/vibration is a worthy goal because we are more than our form.  Outside of form during my near-death experience, I was limitless and this felt amazing.  It was actually a bummer to return to my limitations, but I’m grateful I had that glimpse of what lies beyond my form.

The law of attraction and other types of teachings are trying to get people to be aware of and to exist (at least part of the time) beyond the limitations of their culture, personality, family of origin, repeated thought patterns, etc.  Positive changes can occur when we learn to think differently, beginning in our energetic field and moving into our lives.  But, action, purposeful and inspired, is what seems to manifest a different reality.