Three Simple Steps for Removing Obstacles and Achieving Success: Be Kind, Clean Up, and Work Hard


You are prepared.  You’ve done your homework, and you are ready to take your life to the next level.

How do you make the jump into greater success whether this success is a new job, starting a company, a new project, or even a new relationship?

#1   Be nice to everyone you encounter.  You don’t have to be everyone’s new friend. However, say you are looking for a job.  You should be nice to the attendants in the parking garage.  Start up a conversation with the janitorial staff, and be extremely kind to the administrative staff.

You never know who might observe you and remember your presence and how you interact with the world.  You never know who might put in a good word for you, so pay attention to everyone.  Wish your fellow job applicants success.  Your kindness will come back to you eventually.  Kindness will clear many obstacles from your path.



#2  Clean up your past. You biggest obstacle to success is usually yourself.  Whether this is a questionable social media image, negative self-talk, or negative relationships with others, take stock of how others view you.  Make sure that your social media profile doesn’t have pictures of days and nights spent partying.  Don’t have check-ins at pub crawls, strip clubs, and bars.  Show that you are a well-rounded individual with many interests.  Volunteering to help others is one of the best activities to document.  The more you give, the more respect you earn.

Also, pay close attention to who you follow and who you connect with on social media.  If you are a single guy, and you follow a lot of exotic dancers and pornographers, you are going to look ridiculous to most women who view your profile.  Beyond looking ridiculous, pornography fuels human trafficking and 66-90 % of women involved in the production of pornography were sexually abused as children.  If a woman is in administration, she won’t give you a second thought if you openly follow pornography.  If a successful woman is interested in dating you, she will most likely feel disgust for you if you follow pornography. Work on showing a connection and passion to your field through social media.  Additionally, make sure your email address is a version of your name.  Save “MissSexy69” for your password and not what is visible to the world.   What you are aiming to become is a leader with integrity, so start acting that way ahead of time.

Maybe you don’t have an issue with a questionable social media profile, but you have anger or resentments from things that have happened in your past.  You cannot think a negative thought and positive thought at the same time, so choose positive thoughts for your life and future.  Clean up your own negativity in order to move forward into your future.

Also, as a college professor, I see people returning to school with significant others who are resentful and try to sabotage their partner’s attempts to better their lives.  As you make a jump forward in your life, whether this is a career, new degree, or new opportunity, pay close attention to the people who do not support you.  Realize that it is hard enough to achieve success with supportive people around you.  Consider cleaning unsupportive people out of your life.


#3  Do the hard work. I see a lot of creative people with amazing ideas fail because they procrastinate, give up in the face of a challenge, or give in to laziness or self-pity.  The difference between coming up with ideas versus seeing things through to the end is the willingness to struggle, to do things that are not enjoyable, and to grow.

If you are willing to grow and learn, then your ego is a healthy one.   A fragile ego prevents some people from succeeding because they don’t want to accept that their first attempt may need considerable improvement.  They make numerous excuses for why they cannot achieve certain goals because it is easier to live in a dream world than to dig in, realize their weaknesses, and work to improve various areas that need improvement.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to continue to learn.  You can make the learning process fun, and you can create magic along the way.  However, the work can’t be avoided or dreamt away, so focus on the many small steps toward a goal and not only the end goal.  Set deadlines, and get busy!  Self-discipline will help manifest miracles.

I leave you with a poem by Marge Piercy about the beauty of hard work.

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.


4 thoughts on “Three Simple Steps for Removing Obstacles and Achieving Success: Be Kind, Clean Up, and Work Hard

  1. Just skimming this reveals valuable, simple and yet powerful insight that empowers the reader. College was for me excruciating having had little grade school preparation; intentionally denied by an abusive, predatory mother. I see myself in the “don’ts” of your guidance but have in the last five years journeyed back to active self recovery and focus on bettering myself and making a better life for myself. Thank you Tricia.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad to hear that you got something from the post. I realize we are all works in progress and often doing the best that we can in the moment. A quote that come to mind is this one, ““I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
      ― Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery: An Autobiography

      Thanks for your comment. I wish you all the best.


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