Spiritually Inspired Poems

Thank you so much for reading or listening my memoir Angels in the OR and asking me about my poetry.  I’ll be releasing a short collection of poems titled, ‘”The Self, The Other, & God” in 2020.

my redemption

These poems begin with a reflection on our relationship with ourselves. Others come and go from our lives, but we must learn worthiness of the unconditional love of God in order to experience more peace in our lives.

thispast

Bob Proctor says that fear and faith demand that we believe in something that we cannot see. Fear manifests in anxiety while faith manifests in well-being. May you all have more faith than fear. One of the reasons near-death experiencers continue to tell our stories is to strengthen the faith of others who have not journeyed beyond the veil.

joyful

Reflections about Angels in the OR

audible angels in the or

I am a fan of Audible books, especially on long road trips, and I’m happy to hear that people are enjoying Angels in the OR as an Audible. Years ago as an English major in college, I dreamed of writing a book. I didn’t imagine that a car wreck at the end of my senior year in college would be the starting point of my future book.  As an agnostic, I never imagined angels would feature in my story either, but I am grateful that they showed up in that operating room and changed everything about my life.

People often ask me if I am still in touch with the angels. I didn’t talk frequently about this connection until many years after my near-death experience, but they are in my life and the energy they send is healing, encouraging, and loving.  Picking up on their energy is often the link to knowing their presence. I notice, sometimes after the fact, how they connect me to certain people who help me accomplish a particular goal, usually one that focuses on education, healing, and unconditional love.

Since I started blogging and making YouTube videos in 2016, I have talked with many people who have been inspired to ask the angels to help them during surgeries. At book signings, I am meeting medical professionals who are open to assistance from the other side and this is encouraging too. There are many amazing people walking this earth doing wonderful work in a variety of situations. One of the messages from the other side is that we need to make a conscious choice to acknowledge the goodness that surrounds us.  Too much of a focus on tragedy and negativity weighs down our spirits.

I hoped to spread healing and strengthen other’s faith with Angels in the OR.  While writing, I imagined that a soul who was deeply hurting might open up to a light from the heavens that would change his or her life. I understand deep grief.  Before and after my near-death experience, I have experienced situations that challenged me deeply; however, difficult situations can teach us how to use our compasses differently.  When you point your compass in the direction of God, challenges become much easier. And, when your focus is on adding God’s love to the world, your own healing deepens and expands.

This week, I have begun to change some of my YouTube interviews into podcasts. I hope you might check out some of these interviews. I have been blessed to connect with many amazing light-filled souls who shared their stories with me.

In fact, these interviews prompted me to create The First Annual Online Near-Death Experience Summit last year. This year, I have partnered with The University of Heaven in the creation of The Second Annual Online Near-Death Experience Summit.  We have a great line-up of speakers who will certainly inspire and encourage you.

 

Angels in the OR Launched Yesterday!

 

Hey Everyone!

Thanks so much for making my launch day fun by letting me know that you stayed up late reading  Angels in the OR or listening to the book on Audible.

I mean it when I say that my favorite part of this journey is connecting with you and hearing about your lives, your spiritual experiences, and your hopes for a more loving world.  I’ve interviewed many near-death experiencers the past couple of years, and I keep thinking about how Howard Storm was told by Jesus that love could spread across this planet in small moments with each other.  You simply love the person you are interacting with at any given moment. Love is the force that changes this world for the better.

I can’t wait to hear from more of you! Have a beautiful week, and if you happen to live in Sedona or near Sedona I would love to see you at my event on Saturday, April 20, 2019 at 4 p.m. the Unity of Sedona.

UnityofSedonaFlyer

 

 

Angels in the OR Launches on April 16, 2019!

book over river.jpeg

Thank you everyone for your support on my journey.  I have several more interviews with near-death experiencers available on my YouTube Channel.

Also, Angels in the OR, which covers the story of my near-death experience and life after that moment, will launch on April 16, 2019— 25 years after that massive car accident I experienced in Austin, Texas during my senior year of college.  The near-death experience during spinal surgery at Brackenridge Hospital altered my life forever,  and I have never lost the memory of the light or the vast, unconditional love from the other side.  I have never forgotten the insights communicated to me.

The river that I saw during my near-death experience was strikingly similar to the river that flows outside of TCC’s beautiful Trinity River Campus, and I have spent the last ten years teaching English and Creative Writing here.  I’ve loved this job and all the wonderful students, staff, and faculty members that I have met over the years.  Many of our building’s beautiful classrooms and balconies overlook the Trinity River.

Last week, I shared some advance copies with people on our campus, and I can’t wait to hear your feedback on the book.  It is almost every English major’s dream to have a published book in print.  I have loved books since I learned to read the year before Kindergarten, and part of the reason I worked to accomplish this goal was to inspire my students to believe that they can achieve their dreams.

I hope you will pre-order  Angels in the OR  or purchase it on April 16th when it launches.  I am enjoying the feedback I’ve already received and can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

Poetry Break- “Poem (the spirit likes to dress up)” by Mary Oliver and one of mine

green-fields-1351063140pg3

Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I’ve always enjoyed Mary Oliver’s nature based themes and spiritual themes.  The last stanza of this poem with the lines, “…lights up the deep and wondrous/drownings of the body/like a star” is gorgeous.  I think of the spirit like that–this beautiful light that lives in form, much to its dismay at times.  The poem of mine is about finding love and peace in simple moments in nature.  Magic happens in the now.

Poem (the spirit likes to dress up)
 
The spirit
  likes to dress up like this:
   ten fingers,
   ten toes,

shoulders, and all the rest
  at night
   in the black branches,
     in the morning
 
in the blue branches
  of the world.
   It could float, of course,
     but would rather
 
plumb rough matter.
  Airy and shapeless thing,
   it needs
     the metaphor of the body,
 
lime and appetite,
  the oceanic fluids;
   it needs the body’s world,
     instinct

and imagination
  and the dark hug of time,
   sweetness
     and tangibility,
 
to be understood,
  to be more than pure light
   that burns
     where no one is —
 
so it enters us —
  in the morning
   shines from brute comfort
     like a stitch of lightning;
 
and at night
  lights up the deep and wondrous
   drownings of the body
     like a star.  
— by Mary Oliver

 

Dreamland

Give me guilt free days in an endless

dreamland of bright green fields—

wild alyssum and newly hatched monarchs

a few feet away from our heavy heads.

We’ll rest on a quilt my grandmother made

and tell each other a few stories from our lives.

Our kisses might lead somewhere later than night,

or not, but our ties to earth and heaven

will be loosened, long enough to breathe

out complicated molecules of our pasts

and create a glorious, enviable,

present tense life.

© 2012 by Tricia Barker

 

 

National Poetry Month and Other Reflections

rilke

Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

National Poetry Month:  To celebrate National Poetry Month, I’m posting “After the Wreck,” a poem published by the Binnacle in 2007 which is inspired from moments during my near death experience.  I’m also including a poem by Rilke from Book of Hours:  Love Poems to God which I adore.

Writing on Morphine:  I wanted to document my NDE as soon as I possibly could.  I stayed in ICU for a few days after surgery, but once I was moved to a hospital room, I asked for a pen and paper. My surgeon confirmed that I had died, but she didn’t feel inclined to talk about the spiritual experience with me.  The nurses were a bit more willing to listen to my experience but most seemed busy and hurried.  Some people only nodded and looked at me strangely when I wanted to talk about the powerful experience of being in God’s presence.

While in the hospital bed and hooked up to a morphine drip, my greatest fear was that I might forget those beautiful moments outside my body. The pain and disorientation made it difficult to write in a straight line, and the words bled down the page.  I persisted in the hope that a few lines would be salvageable and used later. The lines about the angels in this poem were lines I wrote days after the experience.

Memory:  To this day, I remember the vividness of the angels, the light, and the love from the divine intensely.  I’ve never forgotten the experience and the images.  What faded a bit were the direct messages given to me by light.  I remember a lot of what was communicated, but the information flowed into my spirit body so quickly that it was difficult to slow down the information and remember it as specific words.  Mainly, I knew that I had immediately and forever changed in that moment.

Outside of my body, I remember feeling slightly worried for my body as I looked down at the operating table, wondering if I would walk or run again.  The angels assured me that I would have complete healing.  In fact, they assisted in that healing, and my questions were answered not only with information but with demonstration.

Trauma and Forgetting the Beauty of the Light:  I have not forgotten the NDE in the way some dreams are forgotten, but there are times in life when the material world, when trauma, or when stress has overwhelmed me.  When overwhelmed and burdened by life, I can forget the beauty of that moment.  The memory though remains incredibly vivid.

Certainly, the actions of others have startled me, shocked me, and sometimes horrified me.  In my memoir, Healed, I write about being harassed by friend in a writer’s group, raped while living overseas, and beaten up by my first husband.  I thought my life after experiencing an NDE would be pure bliss, and I would live a protected, purely pleasurable life.  This was not my experience, and I wasn’t prepared to write about these traumatic moments until years later. Though I had greater moments of intuition after the NDE, I didn’t always know how to trust or use this intuition.  In those first years after the experience, I also had an almost child-like openness, trust, and belief in others and that trust sometimes put me in close contact with desperate people.

Service and Healing:  When I examine all my experiences together, these experiences sometimes seem like more than one person should have to endure.  However, I have survived and thrived, and I realize others have endured far worse events. Perhaps part of my legacy is to experience the horrors that many women have experienced and to report that what remains after harm has taken its best shot at me is light and hope.  I heard Matt Kahn say something similar about harm in his latest video, and this idea seems accurate to me.  What also remains after the harm is a deep desire to heal myself and to help others heal.  At certain times, I certainly forgot the light and its message.  At other times, I became angry at God on this journey, but I always came back to the belief that I should help others and should remind others of their connection to a loving, forgiving source.

Self-absorption and all too human wishes and desires vanish the moment I ask my students about their lives or when I am of service to others somewhere in this world.  There is no greater way to make the world a better place than to offer help or kindness.  We are freed of ourselves in those moments.  Who knew that freedom from the self would feel so wonderful?  It does though.

AFTER THE WRECK

How could I know that the world would have compassion

and that at the moment of impact my back would crack,

 

but I would retain the sensation of this body, first floating

away from it, then returning, silvered and open-mouthed

 

like a fish caught on the hook of a reoccurring dream,

struggling, flapping about, and jerked up to the surface

 

of a room full of florescence, tiny desires to survive

pulsing through my body in rivulets?

 

How could I know that the angels I recalled from paintings

would become bright, intelligent companions at the end of my bed

 

and that the torrential light from their eyes would answer my questions instantly?

How could I know that this peace would disintegrate like ice chips

 

in my mouth and this calming knowledge would drown in refills of morphine.

How could I know that I would forget specifics in the way we forget dreams?

—Tricia Barker

In these bodies, we are often anxious, but I love how Rilke reminds us that God is around us and in us from the beginning.  Certainly, the light on the other side of this life felt familiar. This light is the same light we have in our eyes as infants, and the same light that comes for us at the time of our death.

I am, You Anxious One

I am, you anxious one.

Don’t you sense me, ready to break

into being at your touch?

My murmurings surround you like shadowy wings.

Can’t you see me standing before you

cloaked in stillness?

Hasn’t my longing ripened in you

from the beginning

as fruit ripens on a branch?

 

I am the dream you are dreaming.

When you want to awaken, I am waiting.

I grow strong in the beauty you behold.

And with the silence of stars I enfold

your cities made by time.

–R.M. Rilke