Update on 1/19/19: My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories. I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.
You are unconditionally loved, and this is an easy enough concept to understand but a difficult one to always feel on your journey. So many thoughts understood by the mind are more deeply experienced when they are integrated into your heart and a part of your being. When you are silent, when you simply breathe, when you wake up, do you feel that unconditional love? What about when you are ill, heartbroken, or unsure what step to take next, can you believe that you are unconditionally loved? I hope you do feel that love every step of your journey.
Guides and angels do not always give us the exact information we are searching for. Maybe we are given an image which touches our heart or inspires us in some way. Maybe we are led to a book which helps us take a different action. Perhaps, we are guided to be more in the flow of divine love. You do not have to sacrifice or deny a huge part of yourself to be in the flow of divine love. God already has you and understands what you need better than you understand. When you trust in divine love, you will be lead in the direction where you can express more of that love to others.
The Love of God: We near-death experiencers often talk about the love of God and how it is better than anything we have experienced in physical form. There isn’t anything more profound than God’s love. It is, of course, easy to miss that completeness and wholeness. However, I also love the brokenness and the humor of being human. I love trying to love myself and love others with more wholeness and completeness.
In a way, spending too much time missing the love of God, denies the sanctity, the mystery, and the importance of community and love between friends, co-workers, and significant others. I have an unusual perspective at the end of any type of relationship whether this be through death, through misunderstandings, or through taking different paths in life. I completely honor my experience and other’s experience of trying to love. Maybe the experience was a little fractured or uncomfortable in places, maybe it wasn’t all that we wanted it to be, but the attempt to love is all that matters and is what should be honored.
We can talk for months about co-dependency, love addiction, sex addiction, narcissistic abuse, and all the twisted ways that people try to navigate through their wounds and get to love, but why don’t we honor the human attempts at love more often? There is less stigma around divorce than in the past, but no one ever seems to say to a recently divorced person, “Wow, you really tried. You gave that relationship your best shot. You loved as openly and fully as you could. Good for your for trying.” I think that is the way God will look at me and anyone else who is divorced. God will simply love me as I am, and I know that love will also swallow up the person I loved with an ocean of peace and joy.
We will understand the journey fully in that place of completeness. I am grateful for the love that is in my life, and I try to honor that love and never take it for granted. That practice should also be key for anyone in a relationship. When you see through the eyes of love, you see new ways to love someone.
Forgiveness: There are stages of grieving, stages of forgiveness, and stages of letting go. All of this is fine. Last year, I struggled putting into words how I honestly forgive everyone everything. Although there are people who I don’t want to associate with or hear one single word from for the rest of my life, I do forgive them. From afar, I hope they are much better to others. I wish them great peace, complete healing, success, and happiness. I imagine them loved by the divine and comforted by angels.
When you have suffered a lot, the climb to forgiveness is higher. The beautiful part is that once you reach that place of forgiveness, it is like reaching a mountaintop and seeing so much of this earth spread out before your eyes. You know that in every valley, in every small light, all that you want to do is send love to every hurting soul. You know that at your core, you are nothing but love. You know that you are worthy of God’s unconditional love, and worthy of all the good that you send to others.
I hope you know that you are loved, and I hope you honor all the ways that you give love to this world. Love is your guide, your magic, and your best way home.