Unconditional Love is All Around You

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Unconditionally Loved

You are unconditionally loved, and this is an easy enough concept to understand but a difficult one to always feel on your journey.  So many thoughts understood by the mind are more deeply experienced when they are integrated into your heart and a part of your being.  When you are silent, when you simply breathe, when you wake up, do you feel that unconditional love?  What about when you are ill, heartbroken, or unsure what step to take next, can you believe that you are unconditionally loved?  I hope you do feel that love every step of your journey.

Guides and angels do not always give us the exact information we are searching for.  Maybe we are given an image which touches our heart or inspires us in some way.  Maybe we are led to a book which helps us take a different action.  Perhaps, we are guided to be more in the flow of divine love.  You do not have to sacrifice or deny a huge part of yourself to be in the flow of divine love.  God already has you and understands what you need better than you understand.  When you trust in divine love, you will be lead in the direction where you can express more of that love to others.

The Love of God:  We near-death experiencers often talk about the love of God and how it is better than anything we have experienced in physical form.  There isn’t anything more profound than God’s love.  It is, of course, easy to miss that completeness and wholeness.  However, I also love the brokenness and the humor of being human.  I love trying to love myself and love others with more wholeness and completeness.

In a way, spending too much time missing the love of God, denies the sanctity, the mystery, and the importance of community and love between friends, co-workers, and significant others. I have an unusual perspective at the end of any type of relationship whether this be through death, through misunderstandings, or through taking different paths in life.  I completely honor my experience and other’s experience of trying to love.  Maybe the experience was a little fractured or uncomfortable in places, maybe it wasn’t all that we wanted it to be, but the attempt to love is all that matters and is what should be honored.

We can talk for months about co-dependency, love addiction, sex addiction, narcissistic abuse, and all the twisted ways that people try to navigate through their wounds and get to love, but why don’t we honor the human attempts at love more often?  There is less stigma around divorce than in the past, but no one ever seems to say to a recently divorced person, “Wow, you really tried.   You gave that relationship your best shot.  You loved as openly and fully as you could.  Good for your for trying.”   I think that is the way God will look at me and anyone else who is divorced.  God will simply love me as I am, and I know that love will also swallow up the person I loved with an ocean of peace and joy.

We will understand the journey fully in that place of completeness.  I am grateful for the love that is in my life, and I try to honor that love and never take it for granted.  That practice should also be key for anyone in a relationship.  When you see through the eyes of love, you see new ways to love someone.

Forgiveness:  There are stages of grieving, stages of forgiveness, and stages of letting go.  All of this is fine. Last year, I struggled putting into words how I honestly forgive everyone everything.  Although there are people who I don’t want to associate with or hear one single word from for the rest of my life, I do forgive them.  From afar, I hope they are much better to others.  I wish them great peace, complete healing, success, and happiness.  I imagine them loved by the divine and comforted by angels.

When you have suffered a lot, the climb to forgiveness is higher.  The beautiful part is that once you reach that place of forgiveness, it is like reaching a mountaintop and seeing so much of this earth spread out before your eyes.  You know that in every valley, in every small light, all that you want to do is send love to every hurting soul.  You know that at your core, you are nothing but love.  You know that you are worthy of God’s unconditional love, and worthy of all the good that you send to others.

I hope you know that you are loved, and I hope you honor all the ways that you give love to this world.  Love is your guide, your magic, and your best way home.

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Your Destiny is to Heal, Serve, and Love Unconditionally

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You can have much greater happiness when you turn your attention and consciousness to the presence of God within you.

Believe in Your Divinity:  You are the divine spark.  You are blessed and more beautiful and expansive than you fully grasp.  Your power for good in this world is literally limitless because there is a part of you that is eternal, limitless, and timeless.

Sure, you feel small.  You feel barely heard or even unheard of from time to time, but you are large, and you bless the world wherever you travel, wherever you walk, and wherever you work.

Personally, I’ve grown tired of blocks to the Divine while living in this body and participating in the human experience, so I decided to do away with the blocks and live in a place of love as much of the time as I can handle.  My goal is to permanently reside there.

Of course, big goals leave a lot of room for failure, but I prefer big goals. Beethoven wanted to create music that transceneded time.  In a way, he did create music that transcends time, though I’m sure this particular goal made him work harder than he imagined possible.  I am sure there are days he felt like a failure despite all the beauty he created.

My concentration is on the Divine light inside of me, and my purpose of living is to remind you of your light and connection.  Too often, we turn on and off our connection, but it is better to leave the light turned on.  Never turn it out.

Control:  As humans, we can only control our body and our mind.  These two areas take a lot of discipline to master.  We cannot control much more than this, and it is amusing (and frustrating) to try to control others or to watch others try to control others.  Master what you can control–yourself.  There is joy and peace in this practice.

You turn your light out with a focus on all that you don’t have in the physical world. 

Be Grateful:  Out-picture and believe in what you want and rejoice in all that you have.  Show your gratitude to the world in small and large ways, and you will be rewarded.   Make a long list of even small things that you enjoy about life.

I am grateful to have lungs that work, strong legs that take me many places, new friends, old friends, and nearly perfect vision to see many beautiful parts of this world.  When I feel ungrateful, I imagine that I am a woman transported into my current life from the mid- 1800’s. A woman from the mid-1800’s would be amazed by the technology and all the great food stored in my freezer in pantry.  She would delight in the smells of my soaps and perfumes.  Most of all, she would breathe a sigh of relief and greatly appreciate the freedoms she has as a woman in this time period.  I still think she wouldn’t vote for Trump, but that is my opinion 🙂 She would walk around the grocery store overwhelmed and overjoyed by all the choices.  She would love my job, my clothes, my shoes.  She would love my life so much.

I am grateful for the kind people in my life.  I’m grateful for the diligence of my online students this summer session.  Even though I would prefer to meet them at least once, I hope they are enjoying their freedom as much as I am enjoying mine.  I hope they get to spend more time with their families and friends and enjoy more vacations.  I hope they get more rest since they don’t have to commute in order to be in class.

I am grateful simply to be alive.  I am lucky to be alive after all the near misses, the two guns pointed at me (one in a robbery at a place I worked for and one on the sidewalk in Austin).  I’m lucky to have survived the anger and aggression of certain men who seemed to want me dead in the moment. I’m lucky to have a soft bed to rest my head, three square meals a day, toothpaste that tastes good, tons of books, and a sense of rhythm on the dance floor.

Choose to Love Others:  I’m lucky that I’ve chosen to love many times throughout my life, and I wish I had loved more fully more often. Though many teachers talk about loving the self—loving others is brave, risky, and a worthy journey.  To send your love out like a letter without a return address, like a messenger pigeon in the middle of a war, like a surrender flag—this is beautiful.  I’m not talking about need and lust—people are eventually turned off when you want something from them.  Love is something you give and give freely without a return address.  No expectations.  Love someone, and they don’t have to love you back. Love for the sake of love, for the beauty of love, for loves ability to change the world.

I remember when I first learned to walk again after my surgery and near death experience.  I was a vibrant twenty–two year old woman, exquisitely happy to be alive.  My light was fully, almost explosively, turned on.   Sometimes street lights even popped off when I walked under them.  I blew out watches within days, weeks, or months of having them on my wrist.  Time was blessed and not something to be managed down to the minute. Connecting with others and enjoying each moment is what mattered.

I walked down city streets of Austin and smiled into the eyes of everyone I passed.  Many people were so angry, upset, and disgusted with their lives that they scowled back in return. They were often overworked, unhappy, and unfulfilled.  They focused on all the burdens and bad luck that seemed to have come their way.  They were angry at others instead of simply being happy to be alive.  Joy and passion seemed far from their reach. Some women felt their value in society had decreased as they aged, and they were envious of my youth or perceived attractiveness.  They scoffed at my smile.   I promised myself to be a different type of woman throughout my time on earth and decided to support all women no matter where they are in their journey or what physical form they jumped into for this merry-go-round trip around the sun.  Some men flirted with me when all I wanted to do was smile.  Some people were centered enough to receive my love and ecstatic, newborn-like joy as something worthy of a return smile.   Some people were sincerely curious why I was so happy and listened to my story with interest.   Some people felt that divinity brought me into their lives just at the right time–just as they lost a loved one or struggled with the recent loss of a loved one.  They believed that my story of the other side was part of their healing journey.

Accept the Love of Others:  Most people readily accept ecstatic joy in the eyes of an infant or toddler, a tiny being enthralled with the colors and wonders of this world.  Why, then, can’t we accept ecstatic joy from people of all ages and nationalities?  We are all travelers going in the same direction—eventually home.

Why not let your light shine right now?  Why not love the light you see in others whether they are at the beginning, middle, or end of their journey.  Why not love without censorship or discrimination?  Why not love?  Most of all, why not love yourself with a love than never ends?  Why not be healed?  Why not serve others in the best ways that you can?