Near Death Experience Posts

A Way Out of Depression:  Give More Than You Receive

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 3 Comments

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This may sound like the worst possible solution, and I understand your frustration at hearing these words.  When you barely have the energy to get out of bed, when you don’t want to face the next moment or the next moment, the idea of helping others seems too difficult of a feat.  How can you help someone when you need so much help?

The answer is simple. All around you people have tougher struggles than you do.  In the act of serving them, you find forgiveness for your particular wounds and begin to see the blessings of your own life more clearly.  Your connection to others, however briefly, reinvigorates you and puts you in touch with the divine flow of grace and love from the other side.

During my near-death experience, I saw quite clearly that angels can work through those who are in action.  You might feel this heavenly energy or someone else might feel this energy and benefit from it.  Whether the energy is recognized or not, know that helping the world become a better, kinder place will give you greater self-esteem.  Most near-death experiencers clearly realize that the greatest aspect of love is not what we receive but what we give to the world.  The love that you give is a currency more valuable than money because it is a memory you will be proud to relive both in your life and in your afterlife.

Helping others does not mean inserting yourself into situations where you are not welcomed or giving unwanted advice or opinions.  Helping others does not mean looking for an attractive person to help simply because you want to be near him or her in the hope that this person might like you.  Aim for unconditional, altruistic actions, and do not except anything in return.  Your nobleness of character will be your greatest return, and you will experience more love, perhaps not exactly in the way you expected to be loved but love will pour into your life the more you give.

Open your eyes to the needs of others.  Perhaps there is a disabled veteran in your area who needs a ride to the grocery store or to appointments.  Maybe you could grocery shop for a disabled veteran or elderly person.  My sweet, loving grandmother died of Alzheimer’s disease while I was teaching English in South Korea.  I hope someone, even a kind stranger, visited her in the nursing home and gave her love.  She gave me much love to me through her prayers, unconditional love, and well-wishes.  She deserved kindness and connection in her final moments.  Consider visiting people in nursing homes and listening to them or simply be with them.  Consider becoming a hospice volunteer.  Consider volunteering at animal shelters or building homes for Habitat for Humanity.

In my area, Catholic Charities has served over 100,000 different families in need.  These families may be struggling in poverty or have other needs.  Many immigrants to this country could greatly benefit from someone who might help them fill out forms, learn English, find affordable grocery stores, and learn more about our culture.  The antidote to fear of others is getting to know them and help them.  You will find amazing stories of great struggle and human triumph in a population of immigrants.  I have met several elderly women who are raising numerous grandchildren whose parents have died from diseases or in bombings.  One woman I met and tutored was an Obstetrician in her own country.  I taught her conversational English so that she could find work in a laboratory cleaning lab equipment.  She hoped to be able to return to college and use her degree in the U.S., but the language barrier was a challenge at her at her age.  When you understand that many wonderful people did everything right in their lives and only had the unfortunate luck to be born in an area that suffered a great famine or war, your heart expands to include more people and more places in this world.

Be open to your own spiritual and emotional growth, and miracles will occur.  You might come across a great business idea or the love of your life while in action.  Neither of these things are guaranteed to occur, but the probability is much higher than if you are isolating and not living connected to others. You will definitely feel better about your life in the act of helping others, and feeling better is the first step to creating a better life.

By helping others, you will create more moments of heaven on earth.  One of my favorite photos is a photo of my Creative Writing students volunteering to tutor kids in a low-income school district.  The smiles on my beautiful college student’s faces mean a great deal to me.  I know that they are experiencing the bliss of being of service to others.   I hope you might experience this joy as well.

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Of course, consider being of service to yourself by finding the most nutrient dense fresh, raw, organic fruits and vegetables to eat.  I am a believer in the healing power of food and supplements, and Anthony William’s book Medical Medium recently added much greater healing to my life, but a healing journey is an individual one and different paths work for different people.  Search for therapists, healers, doctors, and teachers who can help you in your personal struggle.  Search for a place of worship that increases the love in your heart for yourself and for others.  Consider a meditation practice.  Definitely reach out for help immediately if you are in a place where you are considering suicide.  The suggestion to be of service is only a part of a much larger picture that is needed to address any of the causes of an underlying condition.

There is much to say on the topic of depression.   I am only suggesting what has worked for me and what I was shown about the power of love in action on the other side.  I have addressed the issue of depression in multiple ways for years, but when I look back at my life I know that my greatest joys in life have been the moments when I helped others.  Keep searching for what will work for you, and consider ways that you might want to make this world a more beautiful place.  I’ll leave you with a blog post offering ten helpful tips for dealing with depression.

Love Letter from God

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 20 Comments

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Dear Everyone,

I’m sorry for all the times you were not loved

by those around you. I’m sorry you were left alone

when all you wanted to do was to make people smile.

It is a shame that others didn’t want your silliness,

your goodness, and your sweetness.

They didn’t see that you were made in my image

and that you are a part of me, a part of God.

 

I’m sorry that you were born with a sensitivity

that should have been protected, a gorgeous sensitivity

that should have been cultivated and honored

but instead was sent harsh words, gaslighted, ignored,

degraded, and abused.  Your trusting nature and openness

was used against you time and time again,

but you met the world like an open flower,

full of love and sunshine. When you learned to close yourself off,

they called you damaged, as if you were

the one who did this to yourself.

 

I’m sorry that people were driven by jealousy, greed,

unchecked rage, fear, and other dark places in their minds.

I’m sorry that they lashed out at you without provocation.

You did nothing wrong.  I’m sorry for their torture

and all the moments afterwards that you carried

shock within you.  As much as I wanted to turn my face away

when people yelled at you, hit you, or otherwise abused you,

I stayed with you and observed everything.

I could never leave you.   I am the life that wants to live,

wants to continue no matter the amount of trauma.

When your world was turned to rubble by fire

and you had only a handful of food,

I was the hand and I was the food.

I was the bird in the sky that made you dream of flight.

 

When people hated you for your religion,

the way you worshiped, your politics,

the color of your skin, your gender, your sexual orientation,

your country, your home, your clothes, your accent, your IQ level,

your school, your car, your age, your optimism, your sadness,

I was never sorry to know you intimately.

I love you without reserve.

 

I’m glad you invited me in when no one else was there.

I’m amazed by your capacity for love and grateful

for all the times you sent swirling,

beautiful energy in my direction.

 

You are the love you give, not the love you receive from others.

I see the love you give and remember it.

This is all that I remember.

I want you to love yourself the way I love you–

exponentially always expanding, infinite in potential.

I love you and want to give you complete peace,

joy, wonder, grace, and a miraculous, triumphant life of love.

© 2016 by Tricia Barker

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I also made a video to accompany this letter from God.  For years, I have required students to pick images to accompany some of their writing or another person’s writing on a video presentation.  I enjoyed finally trying one myself.  Here it is!

God and the Afterlife Part II:  Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, and Religion

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

 

 

I had to make one more post about God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry because the many subjects covered in the book are certainly interesting ones.

Heaven:  The vast majority of NDErs experience heavenly realms, and one of the quotes that struck me came from a woman who talks about art as something reaching for the beauty of Heaven.  She states, “I realized that everything we create that is beautiful—all paintings, woven rugs, tapestries, carvings—all have their seed from Heaven.  We saw all this before we came to earth, and we try to recapture some of Heaven while on earth.”  The discussion of music that NDErs hear is also well-developed and lovely.  I didn’t hear music during my experience, but I can only imagine that it would be more pure and alive, as the grass seemed to be more pure and alive on that other side.

Other NDErs write about how everything is about love.  I heard the exact statement, “Love is all that matters.”  Another NDEr named Diane sums up this idea by saying, “It is all about love.  We must love ourselves, and in this way we love God.  He is within each of us.  We then can love others, even our enemies.  We are here to love life, and to express back to our Creator our joy at having life and seeing how beautiful our world is regardless of how we make it.”  The heavenly realms described in this section are similar to the one I saw, and the peace NDErs discuss offer readers lovely images and thoughts.

Hell:  The authors of this book reassure us that only a very small percentage, “…of all NDEs shared with NDERF are hellish.”  They point out that these types of experiences are difficult to study, but ultimately end up providing motivation to the NDEr to reconsider their lives prior to the experience.  The authors use the term “a walk through the Valley of Death” instead of hell as many of these experiences are simply just a glimpse at a hellish realm, and some souls choose God or call out to God and move onward in a more heavenly direction.

The authors also make it clear that “bad” people do not only have hellish NDEs, and “good” people do not have heavenly experiences.  Some of the hellish experiences may not be NDEs and could be intensive care unit (ICU) psychosis, illicit drug experiences, and so on.  However, some of these hellish experiences are experienced as real and intense, but many experiencers walk through these scenes and end up heaven.

The vast majority of NDErs experience a God who is made up of a powerful form of love and is deeply compassionate and resides within everyone.  Forgiveness may be the specialty of God and a form of love we can’t fully understand while caught up in the details of these lives.

Reincarnation:  One NDEr profiled in the book talks about the possibility of reincarnation and says that God showed a hall that had “…millions and millions of doorways leading off the hall.”   Basically, these doorways were particular paths back to a life on earth, but God let this NDEr know that souls have the choice to stay in heaven.

Not every NDEr comes back with this kind of knowledge about reincarnation.  I didn’t receive specific knowledge about reincarnation during my NDE, though it has always seemed like a possibility to me, perhaps because certain places in this country and around the world have felt familiar to me and not because of what I’ve read in books or seen in movies.

Books like The Afterlife of Billy Fingers offer greater depth on the possibilities in the extended version of the afterlife.  I know that my communications with my father in the afterlife have let me know that he is willing to return to a form because he loves so much about being human and wants to live better the next time.  Personally, I fantasize about not coming back to form and exploring how I may be able to help humanity on the other side.   This topic isn’t a large part of this book, but since one of the NDErs mentioned it, I feel compelled to address the topic briefly.

Religion:  One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me is the section on religion. Some NDErs directly asked God, “What is the right religion?”  One man received the answer, “They all are.  Each religion is a pathway trying to reach the same place.”  He was also told to “…always look at who benefits with regard to rules that religions make.  If it is a particular people or the power structure of the religion itself chances are that the religion isn’t of God.”  I have always loved the parts of the Bible where Jesus speaks directly, but I since I was a child I have resisted the ideas of certain sexist passages in the Bible.

Another NDEr asked whether only one religion will make it to heaven and was given the reply, “…everyone who believes and has faith, even those who don’t think they do, will make it.  It depends on what’s in their hearts.”  Again, this rings true for me.  Kindness and goodness seem to be the true indicator of a person who is on the right path.  Most NDErs, myself included, know how fragile life is and how we shouldn’t waste any of it on anger.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, and we should have gratitude and excitement about our lives.  Faith makes the journey all the more beautiful.

Most of the NDErs profiled describe a God who is powerful and deeply loving.  They struggle to find the vocabulary to describe a God who is everything that exists and everything that doesn’t exist.  One NDEr describes our purpose as learning how to “…experience life and learning how to love, create, and develop to the highest we can be.”  Sometimes, the best we can do is work towards harmony because “..the universe is full of order, so it always finds a way to balance everything because it can’t exist without perfect balance.”

When NDErs are given information about religion, “…they generally understand that no earthy religion is the ‘chosen religion’ or ‘the one true religion.’”  When or if they return to the same religion, they sometimes feel differently about the experience.  One NDEr writes, “Many times I’d like to take over the pulpit and tell people what is really on the other side and that the guilt preached by Christian churches is completely inappropriate.”

During my NDE, I was aware that I judged myself much harsher than the light of God judged me.  I know that guilt isn’t the way to overcome an addiction or an issue in one’s life.  Self-love is the first step that helps.  If we begin to love ourselves enough not to harm ourselves and look for ways to heal the wounds and deep seated pain that is often the cause of addiction, we begin to heal.  The few times I have attended a Baptist funeral or evangelical sermon, I usually want to pick up a Bible and hit the pastor in the side of the head.  Of course, I don’t do that because that wouldn’t be loving or kind, but that is how I feel after experiencing first-hand a love that surpasses all understanding and then hearing harsh judgements in a place of worship.

I agree with an NDEr who writes, “My God is loving and compassionate and lives within me as spirit lives within every one of us.”  God lives inside Christians as much as the Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, agnostics, and the spiritual/not religious.  Though this may be a difficult concept for some, it is a concept that makes complete sense if you fill your heart with love for all living beings. That love for all brings you closer to the love of God.

Reflections on God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 5 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Book Review

God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry is a fantastic book if you are even somewhat curious about conclusions that can be drawn from examining over 3,000 different accounts of near-death experiences.

For some reason, I only recently discovered the NDERF website .  This website allows NDErs to submit their own accounts of their experience and requires them to answer specific questions.  These questions allowed the researchers to compare various experiences and helped in the formation of this book.  I can certainly see how it would be both a long project and an inspiring one to examine so many of these accounts, and I’m grateful to the authors for examining this topic in such great depth.  I will create another post for some of my favorite moments in the book, but I want discuss the experience of God and the purpose driven lives so many NDErs talk about in this first post.

Early in the book, the authors sum up the significance of the similarities of the many NDEr’s accounts by saying, “It is highly unlikely they could all by lying or tricked by a subjective experience, since their reports are so similar.  Can these people be wrong?  For the evidence of the reality of God in the God Study to be dismissed, each one of the NDErs would have to be mistaken that they were aware of God…”

I have always looked at my near-death experience and encounter with God as the most real and important moment of my life.  When I was in the hospital and given heavy doses of morphine, my biggest fear was that I might somehow forget those moments outside of my body.  Quite the opposite occurred, and the memory of the experiences outside of form have stayed bright and clear over the years.

Accounts of God:  This book covers many accounts of God and the light, especially focusing on the unconditional love and mercy so many experiencers describe.   I still get emotional talking about the beauty of the light as I neared it, and I struggle to find the words to accurately describe a love that is both familiar and a part of me, but also incredibly immense, powerful, free, natural, and merciful. The light is love, knowledge, peace, and understanding.  When I struggle to describe God and the light, I am apparently not alone.  Many NDErs in this book mention the struggle to find the words to accurately describe an experience that lies beyond the scope of what we understand while in these bodies.

Many NDErs also want others to understand certain key concepts about this love.  At the basis of my experience, love seemed to be a deep, calming, complete acceptance, and I am also not alone according to the reports. Love is described as not judgement but as a profound, enveloping kind of love.  The authors sum up these experiences by saying, “…God’s love for each of us is complete, deep, and without reservation and extends to everyone and everything.  It is probably worth imagining what would happen if this revelation where embraced worldwide.”

Perhaps if this revelation were embraced, people’s energy would be spent on ways to make this life experience beautiful, peaceful, and happy for all of us.  That might seem like a far-fetched proposition, but it actually isn’t.  Life is meant to be enjoyed in simple, beautiful ways.

God’s Appearance:  NDErs experienced God’s appearance differently at times.  I experienced the afterlife as a place where form is easily mutable.  Since it is such a shock to be out of the body, the light/God seems to want us to feel at ease; thus, people and experiences may take on forms to put us individually more at ease in that environment.

The idea that God may take on different forms was repeated by many other NDE accounts. After telling a few people about my NDE, I was told by agnostics that what I experienced was a dream or the brain shutting down, and I was told by a few Christians (including some in my family) that my experience was “of the devil.”  Nothing could be farther from the truth, and God and the Afterlife might be the very book to open a few of the minds and hearts of people who continue to rely on these worn-out refutations.  The environment outside of my body was more real than this reality, and the love I encountered from God surpasses all human experiences, beliefs, creeds, religions, and philosophies.   That love seemed to be my true home, and I can only assume it is the true home for everyone.

NDErs Missions on Earth:  When NDErs have a moment where they must make a choice or they are told to return to earth, their reactions vary.  Some experiencers were lucky enough to ask what they should bring back to their lives with them.  I briefly saw that I should remind others of the light (which is knowledge, love, joy, appreciation of the moment) and to dispel fear in others while I worked as a teacher.  Other NDErs had longer conversations about the purpose of life, and this section of the book is fascinating.

One NDEr writes about our purpose for returning by saying, “I was told that I was here to learn how to love and to gain knowledge.  This wasn’t said with words, but by thoughts, with all connotations of the words “love” and “knowledge” shown to me.  I knew this wasn’t just about book knowledge or physical love.  It was about learning how to accept every race and have no prejudice; I was to keep expanding and learning about earth, nature, animals, and people.  And this was the mission of all humankind, not just me.”

This statement ties in perfectly to the idea of God’s profound love extending to each and everyone one of us.  There are other aspects of this book I hope to cover in another post, but for now I will leave you with these ideas.  It should be encouraging for everyone to realize that we are loved more than we can imagine, and that as we continue to grow in understanding we are more in touch with a loving God.  I highly recommend this book for those who are interested in the conclusions of extensive research based on the accounts of near-death experiences.

Unlike the Stephen King quote below, I have been interested in this topic since I was twenty-two and had a life-changing couple of minutes outside of my body.  I hope more people might become interested in this topic at younger ages.  I believe that most NDErs only want to share the peace and love they have experienced.

If you want to read my next post about this book, here it is.

 

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Mindfulness for Millennials:  Five Basic Tips

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Mindfulness for Millennials:  If you are a millennial, you may have heard of mindfulness in connection to Buddhism, meditation, or yoga.  Perhaps, you already have a practice.  If you do, hopefully the peace and awareness from your practice extends into every area of your life.  Mindfulness is something you should try to incorporate in every area of your life.  At a very basic level, mindfulness is being in a state of awareness, and even if you are not interested in meditation, consider the importance of mindfulness in your day to day activities.

It took a devastating car accident and a near-death experience to wake me up at twenty-one, but I would like for you to wake up in a gentler, kinder way.  Being conscious of the world around you can save your life, but it can also bring more peace and understanding to your everyday activities.  You will be able to handle stress more effectively and make better decisions in all areas of your life.  You will be better in relationships, better in school, and in the workforce.  You intuition will increase, and you will understand the world and other people in deeper ways.  These tips definitely apply for those who are a part of Generation Z, as well as to those in Generation X and Baby Boomers who haven’t examined their relationship to technology and set aside time away from their devices.

I made a YouTube video about this topic, but I have also created this post about five ways to be more mindful.

#1 Be More Mindful with Technology:  One of the first ways to become more mindful is to consider how you navigate the world with devices.  As I walk the halls of the college where I teach, students are glued to their phones.  Often, they nearly run into me in the stairwell.  I’m an instructor, and these students might want to ask me for a letter of recommendation at some point.  They should smile, make eye contact, and look around the world.  They should talk more frequently to those around them as they wait for class to start.

A popular spoken word video by Gary Turk came out a few years ago called Look Up. The video shows people in different situations and how their world would deepen and become more meaningful if they put down their phones. I want to tell millennials (and Generation Z) to look up and stay looking up.  Interact with people around you.  Observe others.  The more you observe the world around you, the deeper your intuition grows.  Intuition is a completely different subject that I will return to at another time, but for now know that intuition is often a whisper. You have certainly felt your inner guidance warn you about someone.  Maybe you overlooked this warning and listened to what someone said about themselves instead of what your feelings were telling you.  Later, you might have found out you were right.  That was your intuition talking.  If you constantly distract yourself with your phone, you will not develop intuition and pick up on the subtle cues that people give off with micro-expressions.  With a bit of training, you can easily pick up on lies and other subtle clues that people give you with communicating face to face.

Additionally, professors and bosses will react more positively to a face to face meeting than another email or text.  We receive hundreds of emails daily, but a face to face interaction is much more memorable and meaningful.  You are more likely to get the help you need with a meeting in person.

#2 Be More Mindful about How You Interact with People:  As I look around the world at millennial couples, I see a lot of people together but lost in screens.  I am not sure if one person is addicted to social media and the other person feels lonely waiting for that person to get off their phone, so they interact to fill the time.  Whatever the case, mindfulness teaches you how to see the beauty and mystery in other human beings.  Develop curiosity about the lives and feelings of those close to you.  Make a lot of eye contact, and create conscious, loving moments with people you love.  Your friendships and romantic relationships will greatly benefit with more conscious attention.

After my near-death experience, I was deeply curious about everyone.  I wanted to know what made people tick, what secrets they kept in their hearts, and what dreams they had for themselves.  Develop curiosity about people, and believe that they can and will show you their best selves. As you develop greater intuition, you will also discern who you should not to give your time to and who might be dangerous.

#3 Take Breaks:  Mindful people know how to take breaks and how to deeply enjoy these breaks.  Meditation has amazing physiological and psychological benefits.  During my recovery after surgery, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I discovered the joy and peace that can be found through meditation.  My body healed quickly, and I attribute part of my speedy recovery to meditation.

When my body cast was removed, and I returned to the beautiful U.T. Austin campus, I often took breaks that semester.  I felt ecstatic just to be alive.  I sat on benches and watched the world swirl by me. I felt gloriously happy just to walk, have breath, and be alive.  I have felt grateful for most every moment in my life since, even the tough moments.  I realized after my NDE that it is a blessing to be above ground and to get to experience the world in deeply meaningful ways.

Millennials are a stressed-out group, and you need breaks badly.  You expect things to happen for you instantly and quickly.  Breaks help you enjoy life and develop patience.  You need to take time just for yourself and not answer a single text, email, or engage with anything other than silence for a part of your day.  However, if silence is too overwhelming, and you are not ready for a daily meditation practice, consider shutting your eyes and listening to calming music as you breathe deeply every day for a specific amount of time.  Alternately, you might do as I did and sit somewhere in a beautiful area and think of all the things you are grateful for in your life. Whatever you do, experience daily breaks in a meaningful way.

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#4 Go Out in Nature:  Generation Xers had more freedom growing up, and many tend to associate nature with playing and having a great time.  I want your generation to experience the same child-like glee that many of us feel in nature.  Climbing a mountain is not only great exercise, but it allows you to get far away from everything that troubles you in your life below.  It is not a coincidence that many temples are built on mountaintops.  You are literally closer to God or a higher consciousness because you have escaped the hustle and bustle of the world below.

Nature is not just something to look at; rather, it is something to experience.  Being in nature invites you to open up to your senses and be in the here and now.  There is healing energy in nature, and your brain relaxes and thinks differently in beautiful areas.  If you have experienced trauma in your life, nature is a place where you can begin to heal these parts of yourself.

The Celestine Prophecy outlines the ways that humanity can begin to awaken, and one of the first ways is to become aware of the energy and power in the natural world.  Once you are aware of this energy, you realize that nature gives you energy.  The millennial generation should be the generation that creates greater sustainability and awareness of nature.  To do this, you need to get out and appreciate it yourself.

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#5 Nourish Yourself:  Don’t always reach for sugar and caffeine when you need energy.  Consider drinking water and eating a piece of fruit.  Look to nature as a way to determine what might be most nourishing for your body. After my near-death experience, I was deeply aware of what it felt like to have a body again, much like an infant or child is aware of the body.  Though I grew up a little quicker than an infant, I deeply appreciated the senses for quite a while.  Food sometimes felt like a psychedelic experience. After being in ICU for three days, and fed through an IV for several more days, the first sensation of food sent me spinning and felt like manna from the heavens.

Once I left the hospital, I researched diets and decided on a mostly raw fruit and vegetable diet.  I attribute the diet to how quickly my body healed.  Do research yourself, but also use common sense.  Everybody is different, but more raw fruits and vegetables added to any diet will probably benefit you.

My Connection to Mindfulness:  My near-death experience taught me mindfulness in a direct and instantaneous way. I was pleased to be back in the body and experience all of my senses.  I loved to taste amazing foods and interact with others. Even through the physical pain of healing, I used meditation and other tools to speed my recovery.  I didn’t run from the pain; rather I embraced it without pain killers and trained my mind to adapt to the pain and work through it.  Pain passes, and it passes quicker when you don’t run from it or deny it.

Additionally, my near-death experience showed me that I needed to return to my body and become a teacher.  For several years now, I’ve taught English and Creative Writing at the college level, and I’ve observed and worked with thousands of millennials.  Though millennials are a great, fun group, I would like to see more of you practicing mindfulness.  Mindfulness will help you become more successful students, friends, romantic partners, employees, and employers.  Mindfulness may be an important key for success, and it is my sincere wish to see this amazing generation grow more conscious and aware.

So many educators are aware of the importance of teaching mindfulness to students.  Here is a wonderful blog post about teaching mindfulness in the classroom.

If you would like to learn more about meditation, I high recommend reading the books of Thich Nhat Hanh.  You might also check out this YouTube video where Jon Kabat-Zinn discusses what mindfulness and meditation are really about: presence of heart.

If you would like a simple way to practice a loving, healing five minute meditation, check out this one by Louise Hay.

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Takeaways from The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: Part II

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

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Higher Beings/Angels:  Annie Kagan’s translations of Billy’s experience in the afterlife makes for a moving and uplifting book.  Billy’s descriptions of the Higher Beings/Angels ring true for me.  As an NDEr, I have struggled to translate the experience of coming in close contact with two of the most intelligent, large, amazing beings I have ever encountered.  By default, I have called them angels, but Higher Beings seems an accurate term as well.  I got the sense that other people might have different Higher Beings as their guides, but the qualities that my protective angels/Higher Beings exhibited most were intelligence, compassion, and healing powers.  They healed me through the backs of my surgeons with their light, and I had complete faith in their healing abilities.

Perhaps at different times in our life, different angels and guides show up for us.  In Kagan’s book, Billy describes the Higher Beings as, “Whatever qualities come under the heading of benevolence, that virtue is right there in the light.  It’s different with these Higher Beings.  They’re more specific, more personal, like the Divine Presence is focused through a prism.  And the colored rays that come through the prism—these are the higher beings.”  I resonate with that description because my Higher Beings were indeed specifically focused.  Perhaps at different times in our lives we might require differently focused Higher Beings.

Toward the end of the book, Billy says, “There’s an impersonal quality to these Supreme Beings, but that’s not a negative—it’s a big plus.  There’s a pureness to it.  This is what I’ve imagined being in the presence of God would be like….They are pure Spirit.  Just as our bodies are the carriers of our souls, our souls are the carriers of our Spirit.”  For me, this description helps add clarity to my interactions with my angels during surgery.  They were pure Spirit, pure benevolence, and put me at ease outside of my body immediately with telepathy and strength.  I knew I would be fine whether I stayed in the environment outside of my body or returned.  For me, all signs pointed to returning, but I got the sense that everything would have been beautiful, pleasant learning experience for me had I not returned.

Nature:  One of my other favorite lines in this book is a simple but true message reading, “Nature has more light than anything else on your planet.”  In the book, Kagan takes Billy’s advice and returns to nature for healing, inspiration, and connection.  All of us need the healing power of nature in our lives.  Technology is a powerful connector, but not healing in the way that being in nature is healing.  When I am broken, I go to the mountains and let the mountains give me their strength.  When I am stressed, I go to the ocean and let the waves wash away my pain and troubles.  When I want fun, I head to nature.

At another point in the novel Billy says, “The best cure for suffering?  An enlightened experience of it all.  What does that mean?  It means finding the invisible within the visible.”  Nature is a great place for people to experience enlightened moments.  Looking down from a high peak at a city helps us put everything in perspective again.  We are a small part of the whole, but our enjoyment of our life is key.  Nature keeps us present and helps us enjoy our lives more fully and even sometimes catch a glimpse of the invisible within the visible.

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Addiction:  (Spoiler Alert) Billy’s struggle with addiction and even his death as an active addict did not prevent him for any of the bliss, compassion, or benevolence on the other side.   Life’s purpose and a particular soul’s purpose can be grand on the other side while looking rather shabby on this side. One of the more important lessons I took away from my NDE was that the shadows I danced within during that time in my life (the drugs and alcohol) only prevented me from living more fully and connected to others at times.  I wasn’t judged by the light.  I was met with deep compassion and love.  Maybe if I would’ve stayed in the environment outside of my body longer, I might have seen how my life looked from a musical perspective—the ups and downs, the crescendos, and the drumrolls.

In recovery, people are sometimes shamed for relapsing, and there is so much disappointment around the deaths of addicts.  As an NDEer, I sometimes have a different perspective and see the struggle for sobriety as more of a dance the way Billy described it. I see those who relapse as in need of more compassion and care, not less and definitely not condemnation.  The other side greets us with compassion.  Part of our lesson on this earth plane seems to be finding a way to take everything a little less seriously, to let go of resentments quickly, to forgive ourselves and others instantly.  As Billy says, “…there is no one to forgive, because we signed up to do this dance together before we were born.  We weren’t acting out some type of I-did-something-wrong-to-you-in-another-life-and-I’m-paying-for-it-now kind of thing.  It doesn’t really work like that… It’s more a kind of experiment chosen for soul-type reasons that humans have an almost impossible time understanding.  And not understanding is an important part of the experiment.”

If there is one criticism I have of the book, it is that there is not a lot of description of how the oneness occurs.  During my NDE, I saw from the perspective of others in my life review.  That part of the life review for most NDEers shows us where we have hurt and disappointed others, not as a form of punishment but as a way to fully understand our roles and the perspective of others.  I know that there is much compassion on the other side, but the ways we harmed or hurt others is something worth noting in the life review process.  The ways that we harm ourselves are only pitied, but in my experience the light seemed to wish that I could love myself more and open up to others more frequently.  I appreciate the compassion and benevolence described and know this is correct.  There is a bit of “relearning” about our roles that goes on outside the body.  Mabye this could have been explained a bit more.

However, this is actually a minor detail.  The book as a whole is a fantastic read.  I loved it and highly recommend this beautiful, unusual, uplifting book.

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Near Death Experiencers are Making Spirituality as Mainstream as Yoga

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 10 Comments

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“I believe that the greatest truths of the universe don’t lie outside, in the study of the stars and the planets. They lie deep within us, in the magnificence of our heart, mind, and soul. Until we understand what is within, we can’t understand what is without.” ― Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

Liberating Communication:  When I hear people tell me to use cation when talking about communicating with angel guides or hearing messages from deceased loved ones, I look at these people and wonder what rock they crawled out from under.  Haven’t most people heard of Doreen Virtue, James Van Prague, Edgar Cayce, Esther Hicks, Johnathan Edward, Louise Hay, or any of the thousands of writers published by Hay House Press?

When skeptics still talk about NDEs as only the brain shutting down, I wonder if they are starting to run out of excuses as more and more accounts flood in from doctors and surgeons who have had NDEs and as more people come back and verify details happening in the same room, the next room, down the hall, or across the continent or globe.

I’m not speaking my truth in order to counter any religion or belief system.  My hope is that my experiences from the other side help others to embrace basic truths found in most religions. As long as a religion has love as its central message, it does not counter what I experienced of God.  Love is the most important part of life.  Additionally, messages about not harming others and living more fully connected to others and nature are vital.   Little children often know from that essential, heart-centered part of themselves how to love all people and work to end conflicts with others.  Any religion or spiritual teaching that focuses on these truths helps people live better lives.

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Isn’t spirituality mainstream now?   Hasn’t Oprah featured enough spiritual leaders that many of their messages are now mainstream?  For the past twenty years, I’ve seen countless meditation teachers and spiritual teachers reach levels of national fame.  Possibly my area of the country in Fort Worth, Texas is more conservative than cities I enjoy visiting like Sedona, San Diego, Los Angeles, Portland and Seattle.  I feel more at home around like-minded people, but I also know that part of my mission as a teacher and college professor in Texas has been to open the minds of young people who might not have a lot of exposure to different ways of thinking.

In the classroom, I don’t spend any time talking about channeling, angels, or such topics.  I might tell my NDE story once if I am asked about it.  I cover the curriculum.  I’m a logical person in love with facts and statistics.   I love literature and reading, and teach American Literature and Creative Writing.  However, many poems and topics in literature allow me to talk about human nature, connection to nature, current issues in society, and personal growth and development. Most people would never know I am channeling.  My voice doesn’t change other than perhaps slowing down for emphasis.  I don’t get a faraway, theatrical look in my eye.  I don’t break into noticeable, off-topic rambling in the middle of lectures.  Sometimes, I catch a student’s eye, and I feel loving guidance prompting me to say something related to the topic we are discussing that might help this person on their journey.  I believe my words can be healing, and this healing can be spontaneous.  Sometimes, I pass a student in the hallway and start a conversation that might help that person.

Many people who are intuitive and can read body language can connect with students in this manner.  I know I am channeling only because I saw angels on the other side send light and healing through my surgeons and into my body.  If angels could work through my surgeons to heal me, I believe they can work through me to heal others.  Also, when I channel, I feel a certain warmth take over my body, and this warmth feels like unconditional love from the other side.   The huge moment of grace I received during my near death experience is something I want to pass on to others in any way that I can.  If my writing helps others feel the love the divine gave to me, then I will keep writing.  If my teachings and lectures help others feel moments of the divine, then I will keep communicating.

“Simply give to yourselves that which you need – which is love and appreciation without judgment.” ― Réné Gaudette

Faith:  As far as my own faith goes, I took a vow as a teacher to “do no harm.”  During the life review portion of my NDE, I was certain that I must try to avoid harm wherever possible and to remind others of the healing power of nature and the importance of loving the innocent, child-like part of themselves.  The light from the other side of this life instructed me to be a teacher, and I am always filled with buoyancy and happiness the minute my feet have stepped onto the campus.  I get excited by the possibility of what information might flow through me from my divine messengers of light.  I never doubted their existence because I witnessed them in action.  I have, over the years, become more sensitive to the process as I receive messages.

Outside of the body, groups of thoughts were sent into my spiritual form all at once.  The spirit body can receive transmissions of information much quicker than the human mind.  If you can imagine the brain as a slower, outdated computer in comparison to the spirit, then you might see how large bodies of information are transferred during NDEs, OBEs, and other moments of spiritual communication.  When I’m given information in the classroom, this information is given usually to help one particular student in need at that moment.  Some messages are general enough to benefit groups of students.  Sometimes, I am only reinforcing ideas students know who are already in an awakened state.  Other times, I see it is impossible to penetrate the fear surrounding a person at a particular time in his or her life.  In those moments, I can only hope that my classroom was a safe environment, and that those students might stretch their wings and shine at a later time in their lives.

It is only due to our concepts that we feel separate from the world. We are isolated by ideas of inadequacy, ideas of danger, ideas of loneliness, and ideas of rejection. While we may indeed face external difficulties, our thoughts can amplify them—or even create them—leading us deeper into delusion. If we do not want to be enslaved by our thoughts, we can choose to transform our minds. In any given moment, do I choose to strengthen the delusion or the truth of connection?-Sharon Salzberg

Beyond the NDE:  When I contemplate the idea of faith, I know that I never doubt the other side and the beauty I saw during my NDE.  Staring down death, I will feel happiness to enter that light-filled, love-filled dimension again.  I do not look forward to aging or more physical pain. I do not look forward to leaving behind people, places, and experiences I love, but I know that love is what we take with us.  Love gets written into the fiber and essence of our being.   We never lose that experience of love.  The pain of this life is washed away, not the love.

I don’t know what comes next after completly merging with the most loving force I’ve ever experienced.  I know that the closer I got to the light in my NDE, the less concerned I was about leaving anything here on earth.  That love was more intoxicating, more satisfying, and more peaceful than any experience I have had.

Channeling:  I don’t claim to have perfect control over my abilities as a channel.  I only know that when I make myself available and of service to others, there is a great chance that angels will communicate through me to specific individuals.  Sometimes, channeling is more like plugging in quickly to a consciousness greater than my own, somewhat like the moments outside of my body when I began to merge with everyone I had ever known.  Greater truths became evident and easier to pick out.

Many great poets, writers, songwriters, and filmmakers certainly have tapped into the collective unconscious and accessed information beyond their own understanding.  That is the magic of art.  When you are open, miracles can flow through you.

All I have are my experiences, my thoughts, and my remembrance of how the angels readily sent me messages with alacrity.  When I experience that particular sensation in this body, I know that I am connecting to the other side.  I have faith that those who speak a message of love for the self, respect for others, understanding of multiple perspectives, earth stewardship, and connection to nature are on a path to quicken the enlightenment of humanity.

“Our eternal spiritual self is more real than anything we perceive in this physical realm, and has a divine connection to the infinite love of the Creator.” ― Eben Alexander, Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife

Trauma and Faith:  Although my faith has wavered as I experienced trauma and the hatefulness and delusion of certain people I have come in contact with on my path, I know that time has a way of using even these experiences to help others.  I only have my response, and my response to help others avoid trauma or to add light to their journey towards greater wholeness and health.   It is not my path to reach out to those who have abused and harmed me.  My path is to help those who have been harmed and abused, and to remind them of their light, their beauty, and their importance.

Being a victim does not take anyone away from the love of the Divine; rather, it can bring people closer and remind them of their strength and connection to others.  Trauma, much like profound spiritual experiences, remind us that there is more to life than the body.  Though the body can be harmed and killed, there is something much more beautiful that continues on.  One’s soul releases pain on the other side and only holds on to love.  It makes sense to me to love oneself deeply through every experience, and to extend this love to the moments and people in your life that bring you joy.

Destiny:  I can no longer pretend to agree with others who believe it is professionally or personally unwise to speak my truth.   Although I have free will, I don’t think I can avoid my destiny, and my destiny is to talk about spiritual truths with others.  I believe all messages of love are important. I want to see others feel greater empathy and love for themselves and for others.  Once we all remember our true, eternal, spiritual nature, all fear, suffering, and chaos will disappear from our earth.

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Don’t Fight Change…Become the Light of the World

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 1 Comment

IMG_1336I was at a satori this evening led by Dr. Jan Holden who spoke about her extensive research on NDEs. I know Jan, and she uses part of my story in her presentation.  I felt blessed to connect with the lovely people there.  It was beautiful to see how Dr. Holden ties together the experiences of children and various adults together in her talk.  One little girl she mentioned talked about how she had to fight negative forces in order to come back into her body during her NDE.  When the researcher asked her how she fought these forces she said simply and poignantly, “With my heart.” The wisdom of children is astonishing.  As forgetful adults, we have so much to learn from them about love.

Negative and Positive NDEs:  The majority of research about NDEs comes from the Western perspective, and largely the focus has been on positive, pleasant NDEs.  I read Dr. Holden’s book, but hearing her reiterate a few major points brought certain messages home for me.  Dr. Holden discussed how some negative NDEs become positive experiences after the soul stops fighting the experience and continues down the tunnel towards the light.  The idea of reluctant souls fighting the dying process and creating their own hell reminded me of how people create their own hells by fighting change here on earth.  They cling to the darkness instead of moving toward the light.

Darkness represents all that they know, and they fear they will no longer be themselves if they embrace change and become one with that change.  Change is freeing though.  It is like breathing after holding your breath and fighting for so long.  Change is an ocean I will always dive into, and feel the gentle waves and the large waves crash over my body.  Can a person be too free?  I don’t think so.

Dallas Shooting:  Tonight as I think about struggle and the pain people create, I cannot help thinking about the tragedy in Dallas which is just down the road from me.  My hope for Dallas is that stronger, diverse communities focused healing will be strengthened and created here.  What everyone needs is understanding and the ability to empathize with one another.  The more safe places there are in this world for people to grieve and understand many different perspectives, the safer this world becomes.  At Barnes and Nobles this afternoon, a wise man said to me, “The majority of police men and women are very good people.  The majority of PEOPLE of all races and nationalities in this country and in other countries are very good people.  Let us not forget this fact.”

Much Goodness: I am certain that the majority of people I interact with are good and kind.  However, the news does not focus on the healers, the activists, the social workers, the teachers, the ministers, the nurses, and the millions of others who live their lives to help others and help this world.  These people exist, but we do not see their stories broadcast across their airwaves.  They exist and you know they do.

I want to turn my focus to a solution that brings people together to send so much love and understanding into this world that injustice against any living being is impossible.  This is my goal for our planet.  I know that so much love and beauty is around us at all times in the hearts and minds of others.  Reach out with the intention to heal this world, and you will find goodness all around you.

Be the Divine: At the end of my NDE, I was told to come back to the earth and work as a teacher. I have known for a while that teaching in a traditional format will not be the only type of teaching I will do in my lifetime.  The study of literature naturally opens up topics that allow me to discuss my near death experience, and for years, I have reminded students to be the light of the world as they journey from my classroom.  I love my job, but I feel a change entering my life, and I will not fight it.   I’m smiling at it, and bekoning it closer.

I hope to remind more people than the many students who have flowed through my classrooms of their light, power, and purpose. The darkness, engrained patterns, and anger will struggle against the light, but only for a while.  Like the forgetful souls who struggle against the dying process only to remember that they are going home, going deep into the embrace of the most blissful, loving force they can imagine, we are on the verge of a great societal change.  Struggle is a form of hell.  Embrace change.  Become a great force of love and light.  I have the power to heal, and so do you.

Go to the Light:  When I think of those forgetful souls struggling against the dying process and creating hell for themselves, I have to thank Saturday Night Live for this brilliantly funny skit about a negative NDE. Don’t struggle people.  You will only make it harder for yourselves.  Go to the light!  And, sometimes, humor is the light.

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Lucid Dreaming: The Beauty of Dream Control

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 19 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.  I also have a section in this book about learning to lucid dream while in my body cast after my accident and near-death experience.

Dream Control:  Dream control is certainly possible.  I discovered the “hand technique” popularized by Carlos Castaneda as I recovered from a major  accident which required a year of physical  recovery. Castaneda suggests looking at your hand each night before bed.  The first time I willed myself to have a lucid dream I stared at my hand for about ten to fifteen minutes before bed, making my hand the mental anchor. I told myself repeatedly that if I saw my hand in my dream, I would realize I was dreaming and be able to control the dream at that point.  I would not let the reality of the dream change into anything I didn’t want it to turn into.

I’m sure there are many different suggestions about how to have a  lucid dream  and even different interpretations of Castaneda’s book The Art of Dreaming, but using my hand as a mental anchor worked for me.  It took a full month of practice before I was able to have a lucid dream.  I had a lot of downtime after the accident, so I can imagine it might take longer for other people with more stress in their lives.  Also, I had experienced a near-death experience during my surgery and that might have made it easier for me to be successful with dream control.

Success with the Technique:  After a month of practice, I had a dream where I had a date with a guy who drove a red Ferrari.  The guy said something arrogant, and I’ve never cared much for flashy, red cars. I got out of the car and slammed the door.  In the process, I slammed my hand in the car door.  My hand hurt, and I looked down and stared at my throbbing, painful hand.  In that moment in the dream, I clearly saw my mental anchor.  I began lucid dreaming at this point.

I smiled, relishing the control, and immediately healed my hand. Then, I waved happily to the man standing by his car in confusion.  I wished him better luck with the next date, and then I shot up into the sky like a superhero with a mission to eradicate all human pain and suffering.  Flying felt amazing, just like it had when my spirit left my body during surgery and flew through the walls of the hospital and out over the night sky in Austin.

In the dream, the world was bright with sunlight, and I flew in large, relaxed circles above the ground, looking down at our beautiful world and feeling wide expansive freedom as if I were an eagle.  From this vantage point, I thought about how most people on earth desire love and money, so my mission started by giving everyone gold, as a symbol of abundance and being aware of their own spiritual light.

What Do We Really Want to Give Ourselves and Others?:  As I flew around the world in this amazing dream, I looked down and saw that I could make everyone feel more light-filled and joyful.  I also wanted to make certain that no one on earth felt hungry, lacked shelter, or felt physical pain.  I spread love and ecstasy into all the hearts and souls on the planet.  Those who desired a companion, a community, a great love found these connections, but they loved themselves all the more, knowing that our journey is sometimes a solitary one.  Most things and people leave us in one form or another, so I gave everyone love and strength to be their own spirit guide, to love themselves deeply and to guide themselves home, flying free of all chains of the material.

After bringing peace and contentment to the planet,  I still had time in the dream, and I considered what I wanted for myself on a hedonistic, pleasure-seeking level.  I decided to make love with four different men that night—Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Andy Garcia, and Matthew McConaughey. Though fun, I thought true love would be a better experience, and imagined what it would feel like to love someone deeply and for a long while.  I imagined a happy, blissful romance and loving companion.  I sped through time and saw our deaths, and then sped back in time.

After experiencing true love, I continued with hedonistic pleasures and ate a big portion of a thickly frosted wedding cake in a castle at a young, happy couple’s fancy, festive wedding.  Then, I thought about what would make for a perfect ending to a wildly fantastic dream and decided that I wanted to feel what it felt like to be a great, brilliant composer.

As I flew through the pink clouds of sunrise, I imagined that I wrote every note of Mozart’s Magic Flute, deeply pleased with what it must’ve felt like to be a musical genius with the ability to create such happy, joyful sounds.  At the end of the dream, I flew into the light of the divine which manifested itself as the sunrise over mountains.  I sent more love to everyone on the planet, telling them they were o.k. and everything would be fine.  I believed this for myself as well.

Lucid Dreaming Now: When I lucid dream  or participate in dream yoga now, I work on smaller scenarios and usually continue to enjoy what it feels like to be like a bird in flight.   Not just a bird exactly, but a bird with powers of manifestation.  I’m not sure why I always prefer to fly in dreams, but flight makes me feel freer in the morning.  I envy birds and their view of our world.  I think a lot of problems look much smaller from a high vantage point.

Maybe Nelly Furtado’s song, “I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away” has been an anthem of mine for a while.  I’m trying to learn to fly away in my dreams and keep my feet firmly planted on earth during the day.  Maybe when they say, “She’s/He’s a free spirit,” they mean this person can fly in his or her dreams.  Maybe I want to teach the world to fly and never drink coke.

I hope everyone gets to fly like an eagle at least once in their dreams.

Peace to all.