Mindfulness for Millennials:  Five Basic Tips

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Mindfulness for Millennials:  If you are a millennial, you may have heard of mindfulness in connection to Buddhism, meditation, or yoga.  Perhaps, you already have a practice.  If you do, hopefully the peace and awareness from your practice extends into every area of your life.  Mindfulness is something you should try to incorporate in every area of your life.  At a very basic level, mindfulness is being in a state of awareness, and even if you are not interested in meditation, consider the importance of mindfulness in your day to day activities.

It took a devastating car accident and a near-death experience to wake me up at twenty-one, but I would like for you to wake up in a gentler, kinder way.  Being conscious of the world around you can save your life, but it can also bring more peace and understanding to your everyday activities.  You will be able to handle stress more effectively and make better decisions in all areas of your life.  You will be better in relationships, better in school, and in the workforce.  You intuition will increase, and you will understand the world and other people in deeper ways.  These tips definitely apply for those who are a part of Generation Z, as well as to those in Generation X and Baby Boomers who haven’t examined their relationship to technology and set aside time away from their devices.

I made a YouTube video about this topic, but I have also created this post about five ways to be more mindful.

#1 Be More Mindful with Technology:  One of the first ways to become more mindful is to consider how you navigate the world with devices.  As I walk the halls of the college where I teach, students are glued to their phones.  Often, they nearly run into me in the stairwell.  I’m an instructor, and these students might want to ask me for a letter of recommendation at some point.  They should smile, make eye contact, and look around the world.  They should talk more frequently to those around them as they wait for class to start.

A popular spoken word video by Gary Turk came out a few years ago called Look Up. The video shows people in different situations and how their world would deepen and become more meaningful if they put down their phones. I want to tell millennials (and Generation Z) to look up and stay looking up.  Interact with people around you.  Observe others.  The more you observe the world around you, the deeper your intuition grows.  Intuition is a completely different subject that I will return to at another time, but for now know that intuition is often a whisper. You have certainly felt your inner guidance warn you about someone.  Maybe you overlooked this warning and listened to what someone said about themselves instead of what your feelings were telling you.  Later, you might have found out you were right.  That was your intuition talking.  If you constantly distract yourself with your phone, you will not develop intuition and pick up on the subtle cues that people give off with micro-expressions.  With a bit of training, you can easily pick up on lies and other subtle clues that people give you with communicating face to face.

Additionally, professors and bosses will react more positively to a face to face meeting than another email or text.  We receive hundreds of emails daily, but a face to face interaction is much more memorable and meaningful.  You are more likely to get the help you need with a meeting in person.

#2 Be More Mindful about How You Interact with People:  As I look around the world at millennial couples, I see a lot of people together but lost in screens.  I am not sure if one person is addicted to social media and the other person feels lonely waiting for that person to get off their phone, so they interact to fill the time.  Whatever the case, mindfulness teaches you how to see the beauty and mystery in other human beings.  Develop curiosity about the lives and feelings of those close to you.  Make a lot of eye contact, and create conscious, loving moments with people you love.  Your friendships and romantic relationships will greatly benefit with more conscious attention.

After my near-death experience, I was deeply curious about everyone.  I wanted to know what made people tick, what secrets they kept in their hearts, and what dreams they had for themselves.  Develop curiosity about people, and believe that they can and will show you their best selves. As you develop greater intuition, you will also discern who you should not to give your time to and who might be dangerous.

#3 Take Breaks:  Mindful people know how to take breaks and how to deeply enjoy these breaks.  Meditation has amazing physiological and psychological benefits.  During my recovery after surgery, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I discovered the joy and peace that can be found through meditation.  My body healed quickly, and I attribute part of my speedy recovery to meditation.

When my body cast was removed, and I returned to the beautiful U.T. Austin campus, I often took breaks that semester.  I felt ecstatic just to be alive.  I sat on benches and watched the world swirl by me. I felt gloriously happy just to walk, have breath, and be alive.  I have felt grateful for most every moment in my life since, even the tough moments.  I realized after my NDE that it is a blessing to be above ground and to get to experience the world in deeply meaningful ways.

Millennials are a stressed-out group, and you need breaks badly.  You expect things to happen for you instantly and quickly.  Breaks help you enjoy life and develop patience.  You need to take time just for yourself and not answer a single text, email, or engage with anything other than silence for a part of your day.  However, if silence is too overwhelming, and you are not ready for a daily meditation practice, consider shutting your eyes and listening to calming music as you breathe deeply every day for a specific amount of time.  Alternately, you might do as I did and sit somewhere in a beautiful area and think of all the things you are grateful for in your life. Whatever you do, experience daily breaks in a meaningful way.

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#4 Go Out in Nature:  Generation Xers had more freedom growing up, and many tend to associate nature with playing and having a great time.  I want your generation to experience the same child-like glee that many of us feel in nature.  Climbing a mountain is not only great exercise, but it allows you to get far away from everything that troubles you in your life below.  It is not a coincidence that many temples are built on mountaintops.  You are literally closer to God or a higher consciousness because you have escaped the hustle and bustle of the world below.

Nature is not just something to look at; rather, it is something to experience.  Being in nature invites you to open up to your senses and be in the here and now.  There is healing energy in nature, and your brain relaxes and thinks differently in beautiful areas.  If you have experienced trauma in your life, nature is a place where you can begin to heal these parts of yourself.

The Celestine Prophecy outlines the ways that humanity can begin to awaken, and one of the first ways is to become aware of the energy and power in the natural world.  Once you are aware of this energy, you realize that nature gives you energy.  The millennial generation should be the generation that creates greater sustainability and awareness of nature.  To do this, you need to get out and appreciate it yourself.

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#5 Nourish Yourself:  Don’t always reach for sugar and caffeine when you need energy.  Consider drinking water and eating a piece of fruit.  Look to nature as a way to determine what might be most nourishing for your body. After my near-death experience, I was deeply aware of what it felt like to have a body again, much like an infant or child is aware of the body.  Though I grew up a little quicker than an infant, I deeply appreciated the senses for quite a while.  Food sometimes felt like a psychedelic experience. After being in ICU for three days, and fed through an IV for several more days, the first sensation of food sent me spinning and felt like manna from the heavens.

Once I left the hospital, I researched diets and decided on a mostly raw fruit and vegetable diet.  I attribute the diet to how quickly my body healed.  Do research yourself, but also use common sense.  Everybody is different, but more raw fruits and vegetables added to any diet will probably benefit you.

My Connection to Mindfulness:  My near-death experience taught me mindfulness in a direct and instantaneous way. I was pleased to be back in the body and experience all of my senses.  I loved to taste amazing foods and interact with others. Even through the physical pain of healing, I used meditation and other tools to speed my recovery.  I didn’t run from the pain; rather I embraced it without pain killers and trained my mind to adapt to the pain and work through it.  Pain passes, and it passes quicker when you don’t run from it or deny it.

Additionally, my near-death experience showed me that I needed to return to my body and become a teacher.  For several years now, I’ve taught English and Creative Writing at the college level, and I’ve observed and worked with thousands of millennials.  Though millennials are a great, fun group, I would like to see more of you practicing mindfulness.  Mindfulness will help you become more successful students, friends, romantic partners, employees, and employers.  Mindfulness may be an important key for success, and it is my sincere wish to see this amazing generation grow more conscious and aware.

So many educators are aware of the importance of teaching mindfulness to students.  Here is a wonderful blog post about teaching mindfulness in the classroom.

If you would like to learn more about meditation, I high recommend reading the books of Thich Nhat Hanh.  You might also check out this YouTube video where Jon Kabat-Zinn discusses what mindfulness and meditation are really about: presence of heart.

If you would like a simple way to practice a loving, healing five minute meditation, check out this one by Louise Hay.

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Optimism—Might as Well Have It

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 18 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Hope is the only thing that matters because it points to the inevitable.—Pam Grout

Today, I watch my prayer flags blowing in the wind and remember a time in my life when I was ridiculously optimistic.  I was eighteen and close to graduating from high school.  I hadn’t received any scholarships yet, but I visualized money flying into my mailbox on a magic carpet ride.  Thousands of dollars did indeed arrive, and I knew those checks sealed my fate.  I would be leaving East Texas and never returning.  I took pictures of my ramshackle of a home to remember it.  I captured the sinking floors, the sinking roof, and the black mildew covering the walls.  I captured the peeling wallpaper, the wood panel, and the mouse droppings. I grew up poor, ridiculously poor, like Walmart was too good for us kind of poor.  Poor like I rolled up white bread and ate it slowly when the hunger pains hit.  Poor like I wished my parents weren’t proud and would’ve applied for welfare so I could eat free school lunches.  I envied the kids eating warm breakfasts in the cafeteria.

I wore clothes from garage sales and was picked on unmercifully in late elementary school and early junior high.  Girls called me ugly, disgusting, and worthless.  When I look back at the pictures, I was adorable, a little malnourished and underdeveloped but worthy of love.  All kids are worthy of love.  My innocent heart and compassionate nature was lovely.  I liked all people in an open-hearted way.  I didn’t understand why my love wasn’t often returned, but I realized that was probably more about them than about me.  I didn’t understand why my parents hated each other and didn’t get divorced.   I didn’t understand why I had to observe mom hurling abuse in dad’s direction and dad ducking out the door and coming back late at night.  He never came around much during the evenings other than to shower and head out again, only saying, “Keep up the good work in school, kiddo.”  At least he said something nice.  Sometimes, that phrase would be the only kind thing I heard all day.

Most nights, dad stayed away from the house until 10 or 11 p.m.  On weekends, he went on fishing trips.  When he wasn’t around, mom generally yelled at me for minor reasons, threatened suicide around 5 p.m., and went to bed around 6 p.m. At first, I tried to find help for her by asking a few friends parents about therapists or ministers, but she refused all help.  She wasn’t always unstable, but many times I felt scared for her.  I was unable to help her in those moments because I needed parenting myself and a peaceful place to live. I didn’t have siblings and there weren’t any kids in my neighborhood to hang out with.  I was alone except for the phone and the moon and the stars.

However, my life situation didn’t matter much to me on most nights.  I had a connection to nature, books from the library, and so much freaking optimism. I had the optimism of a rocket not afraid to leave the earth’s atmosphere.  I wrote poems late into the night.  My future felt like a wild ride, and I was a racecar driver.  I left East Texas a week after graduation with unlimited optimism.  Whatever life had given me didn’t matter.  I was a live wire, a magician, and a song writer.  My life was my song.

I wish I could bottle the enthusiasm of that eighteen-year-old girl.  I wish I could make it into a magic, everlasting elixir and give it to everyone.  It didn’t matter that life would crush me in a hundred different ways after that moment.  It only matters that I dared to dream.  I dared to try.  I shot for the stars and made it to a few mountaintops around the world.  Hope doesn’t have to be reserved for the young.  Hope is a gift we give ourselves because we love ourselves despite our life situations or challenges.  Hope is a gift we give ourselves in order to rise above and beyond what is going on around us.  Hope means loving yourself enough to get excited about what comes next.

Eventually, my mother left my father and created a better life for herself by looking to new horizons and taking chances.  My father died eight years ago, but he died better and more optimistically than anyone that I have ever witnessed or read about.  He didn’t try to hang on desperately to his dying body.  His soul grew large, and he met death with curiosity, ready for his next adventure and solidly certain that his soul would go on.  To this day, I still get communications from him. 

Today, I am excited about what comes next, not exactly in the same way that I was excited at eighteen but excited. This excitement comes from not bothering to turn my head back into the past.  My head is on straight, and my sight is set on the next horizon.  Each setting sun is a prayer flag waving back at me, a blessing giver throwing confetti.   I am my own beacon of light, and I’m not lost at sea.  My ship has docked in a fabulous port.  I know there’s spicy food at a restaurant nearby, and I like my food very spicy.  I can afford desert as well.  I’m in my own commercial, and I’m sold on the life that life is giving me.  Everything is turning out beautifully.  Better than I could’ve imagined.  I wish this for everyone.  Hope and so much freaking optimism.

 

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Just Say “No” to Other People’s Negative Energy: Love Yourself Enough to Just Do It! (Particular Advice for New Teachers and Professors)

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / Leave a comment

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In this wonderful video, “How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy,” Ralph Smart details five ways to deal with negative energy from others.  I’ve listed those ways below.

 

As a former public school teacher and college professor, I inherently know how to deal with negative students and parents and redirect negative people very quickly in different directions, sometimes even transforming their anger or negativity into a talk about what is really going on in their lives to make them lash out at me or others.  Other times, they are sent in a different direction all together so that I can focus on others who are willing to learn and grow.  Ralph Smart’s responses make sense to me, and I incorporate most of these techniques automatically in the classroom.

Each situation with a negative person requires a slightly different response and a different set of skills, but the main point is that negativity doesn’t get to win. I won’t let one student’s negativity detract from my mission from the light.  I wasn’t sent back to earth after my NDE to let negativity interfere with the light and my mission.  I am meant to shine light into my own life and the lives of others.  My guides don’t let negativity win, and I don’t let it win either.  At a basic level, I must help my students become better communicators, thinkers, and writers.  On another level, I have an intent to help others feel better about themselves and achieve their personal goals.

I don’t talk about the negative students in the lounges and with other professors unless I want input on how to more effectively deal with a troubled student and think someone I know can offer sound advice.  I don’t complain about students and spend my energy in that way.  I talk about the students who inspire me with their drive, ambition, and ability to persist despite adversities.

The Five Ways Ralph Smart Recommends for How to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Negativity:

  1. You can’t please everyone. Everyone is here for a different reason. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but it’s more important to be yourself.  When you trust yourself, you are loving yourself and accepting of yourself 100%.  If others don’t like it, they can hit the road.  (As a teacher, realize that every student will not appreciate your style of teaching, your content, or your ideas. Realize that you are there to reach who you can on a deeper level and to help every one of your students succeed whether they like you or not.  Things generally run smoothly if you take this approach.  And remember the ten second rule.  Students make judgements about you in the first ten seconds they see you.  Smile, hold your head high, look in control, and ask certain students informal questions before class starts to show that you care about them.)
  2. Choose whether you want to be invited where this person will take you.  No one can enter your world without an invitation.  We are consciously and unconsciously inviting others into our temple which is ourselves.  (Pay more attention to the students who are doing things right–learning, growing, and participating.  Those who are working as a distraction need to be dealt with in various ways.  Extroverted students can be fun, and if you make room for discussion in your classroom, give them specific ways to talk about the content.  Engage with them during discussions.  Negative distractions should not be invited into your consciousness for long.)
  3. Do not pay attention.  Some people can be classified as energy vampires. A parasite can only live on the host’s body.  Whatever you focus on grows.  Energy vampires work by making you think of them.  Just the thought of them alone is tiring.  Pay attention to where you pay attention.  Are you focusing on what you want or on what you fear?  An “emotional drive by” is when someone dumps their negative energy on you and then drives off.  Don’t become a trashcan for someone else’s garbage. (Know what your purpose and intent is in the classroom.  Don’t let your focus waver from the goal of helping and inspiring others.  For example, one of my intentions is to give my students new ways to think and to give them the light and peace that comes from loving oneself and believing in oneself.)
  4. Breathing increasing the blood flow.   Just going into nature can purify your senses.  Meditate, dance, sing, and heal.  Become like the butterfly.  It is light and moves around quickly, not absorbing others energy.  Keep your head up and pay attention to your body language.  Becoming lighter is the only way to fly.  Keep it moving. (Consider teaching mindfulness in your classes or let your students research ways to decrease stress and increase joy in their lives.  You can also invite someone into your classroom to teach mindfulness if this is not your area of interest. On nice days, I sometimes conduct class by the river or outside somewhere.  I always recommend nature to heal our bodies, minds, and souls.)
  5. Take responsibility for your internal condition. Ask yourself, “How do I feel?”  To stop absorbing other’s energy, you must realize that you should take care of how you feel at any given moment in the day.  What you fight, you give energy to.  Everything is based around perception.  The perception we have of ourselves is greater than the perception others have of us.  That is the secret.  Once you change your perception, you change your reality.  No one has power unless you give them power.  Fly past other people and let go of fear. (Know that with the intent to help others in the classroom, you will generally feel GREAT.  All of your problems will evaporate the minute you step in the classroom ready to be a force of goodness and work for the benefit of others.)

As a teacher, you have control over the flow of energy in your classroom.  If you make it known that you are there to work for the benefit of all your students, you usually gain their respect, even if this takes a while.  Everyone has a different teaching style.   You don’t have to make yourself into someone you are not. I’m not an authoritarian, but I deal with problems quickly.

I hope every new public school teacher and college professor has a team of administrators who support them. Years ago, when I did my student teaching, I taught an eleventh grader who abused drugs and sometimes walked on desks at random.  I immediately moved his desk outside and asked him to step outside.  Long term, I preferred that he get the help he needed somewhere other than my classroom.  When I talked with the principal and suggested an alternative school, he looked at me with a smirk and said, “There isn’t room in the alternative school, in ISS, or detention.  You’re going to have to deal with him yourself.”

This might’ve been an initiation of sorts, but I didn’t appreciate his lack of support.  I dealt with the student in two different ways.  By a stroke of luck, I ended up on a city bus with the student, and he looked smaller and more afraid amidst a crowd of adults.  A friend of his was making fun of how little he knew about history, so I first taught them both a few memorization skills.  Secondly, I confronted his actions and said, “I know you are planning on dropping out of high school.  You don’t take school seriously and have a zero in my class.  When are you dropping out?”

He looked startled and told he was wasn’t sure when. I told him that before he dropped out, I wanted him to take this test using the memorization skills and see if he could pass.  I asked him to write one serious essay in my class and receive my comments.  Amazingly, he agreed. He passed the history test and wrote a surprisingly creative essay for my class.  I praised his writing and told him that the GED was always an option if he dropped out.   We talked about alternative careers as well that didn’t require a degree, but I let him know he had the ability to do well in school.

He never walked on desks or interrupted my class again once I focused my attention on what he was doing right and could do right.   Eventually, on the days he planned on being a disruption, he moved his own desk outside of my classroom so I could teach the other students.  This student was kicked out of school after a fight, but I think about that essay he wrote, and I remember the positive moments of our interaction way more the negative.

Sometimes, dealing with a negative person means finding something they are doing right and focusing on that and making that grow in their lives.  Sometimes, dealing with a negative person means not dealing with that person at all.  In good school districts, I had administrators who handled negative, disruptive students in loving but firm ways.  They gave consequences for bad behavior and reeducated these students.

In society and in schools, rules and those who enforce rules are very important.  Schools run better with great administration who care about students, and societies run better with understanding but firm police officers and enforced laws.  With this kind of help from administration, teachers can focus on all the many amazing, positive students in their classrooms, and people in the world can live their lives in peace.

 

Takeaways from The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: Part II

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

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Higher Beings/Angels:  Annie Kagan’s translations of Billy’s experience in the afterlife makes for a moving and uplifting book.  Billy’s descriptions of the Higher Beings/Angels ring true for me.  As an NDEr, I have struggled to translate the experience of coming in close contact with two of the most intelligent, large, amazing beings I have ever encountered.  By default, I have called them angels, but Higher Beings seems an accurate term as well.  I got the sense that other people might have different Higher Beings as their guides, but the qualities that my protective angels/Higher Beings exhibited most were intelligence, compassion, and healing powers.  They healed me through the backs of my surgeons with their light, and I had complete faith in their healing abilities.

Perhaps at different times in our life, different angels and guides show up for us.  In Kagan’s book, Billy describes the Higher Beings as, “Whatever qualities come under the heading of benevolence, that virtue is right there in the light.  It’s different with these Higher Beings.  They’re more specific, more personal, like the Divine Presence is focused through a prism.  And the colored rays that come through the prism—these are the higher beings.”  I resonate with that description because my Higher Beings were indeed specifically focused.  Perhaps at different times in our lives we might require differently focused Higher Beings.

Toward the end of the book, Billy says, “There’s an impersonal quality to these Supreme Beings, but that’s not a negative—it’s a big plus.  There’s a pureness to it.  This is what I’ve imagined being in the presence of God would be like….They are pure Spirit.  Just as our bodies are the carriers of our souls, our souls are the carriers of our Spirit.”  For me, this description helps add clarity to my interactions with my angels during surgery.  They were pure Spirit, pure benevolence, and put me at ease outside of my body immediately with telepathy and strength.  I knew I would be fine whether I stayed in the environment outside of my body or returned.  For me, all signs pointed to returning, but I got the sense that everything would have been beautiful, pleasant learning experience for me had I not returned.

Nature:  One of my other favorite lines in this book is a simple but true message reading, “Nature has more light than anything else on your planet.”  In the book, Kagan takes Billy’s advice and returns to nature for healing, inspiration, and connection.  All of us need the healing power of nature in our lives.  Technology is a powerful connector, but not healing in the way that being in nature is healing.  When I am broken, I go to the mountains and let the mountains give me their strength.  When I am stressed, I go to the ocean and let the waves wash away my pain and troubles.  When I want fun, I head to nature.

At another point in the novel Billy says, “The best cure for suffering?  An enlightened experience of it all.  What does that mean?  It means finding the invisible within the visible.”  Nature is a great place for people to experience enlightened moments.  Looking down from a high peak at a city helps us put everything in perspective again.  We are a small part of the whole, but our enjoyment of our life is key.  Nature keeps us present and helps us enjoy our lives more fully and even sometimes catch a glimpse of the invisible within the visible.

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Addiction:  (Spoiler Alert) Billy’s struggle with addiction and even his death as an active addict did not prevent him for any of the bliss, compassion, or benevolence on the other side.   Life’s purpose and a particular soul’s purpose can be grand on the other side while looking rather shabby on this side. One of the more important lessons I took away from my NDE was that the shadows I danced within during that time in my life (the drugs and alcohol) only prevented me from living more fully and connected to others at times.  I wasn’t judged by the light.  I was met with deep compassion and love.  Maybe if I would’ve stayed in the environment outside of my body longer, I might have seen how my life looked from a musical perspective—the ups and downs, the crescendos, and the drumrolls.

In recovery, people are sometimes shamed for relapsing, and there is so much disappointment around the deaths of addicts.  As an NDEer, I sometimes have a different perspective and see the struggle for sobriety as more of a dance the way Billy described it. I see those who relapse as in need of more compassion and care, not less and definitely not condemnation.  The other side greets us with compassion.  Part of our lesson on this earth plane seems to be finding a way to take everything a little less seriously, to let go of resentments quickly, to forgive ourselves and others instantly.  As Billy says, “…there is no one to forgive, because we signed up to do this dance together before we were born.  We weren’t acting out some type of I-did-something-wrong-to-you-in-another-life-and-I’m-paying-for-it-now kind of thing.  It doesn’t really work like that… It’s more a kind of experiment chosen for soul-type reasons that humans have an almost impossible time understanding.  And not understanding is an important part of the experiment.”

If there is one criticism I have of the book, it is that there is not a lot of description of how the oneness occurs.  During my NDE, I saw from the perspective of others in my life review.  That part of the life review for most NDEers shows us where we have hurt and disappointed others, not as a form of punishment but as a way to fully understand our roles and the perspective of others.  I know that there is much compassion on the other side, but the ways we harmed or hurt others is something worth noting in the life review process.  The ways that we harm ourselves are only pitied, but in my experience the light seemed to wish that I could love myself more and open up to others more frequently.  I appreciate the compassion and benevolence described and know this is correct.  There is a bit of “relearning” about our roles that goes on outside the body.  Mabye this could have been explained a bit more.

However, this is actually a minor detail.  The book as a whole is a fantastic read.  I loved it and highly recommend this beautiful, unusual, uplifting book.

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Inspiration Friday: 39 Secrets to Happiness and Peace

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 1 Comment

I enjoy coming across amazing bloggers on WordPress. This list inspires me. I hope it inspires you as well.

Stacy Rancourt's avatarStacy Loves...

We’ve all heard that happiness is a choice, and that is true.  It is not what happens to us, but our attitude and the way we react to situations that will determine our happiness.  Here are a few “secrets” I have discovered so far in my 39 years that have led me to a life filled with happiness and inner peace.

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1.  The attitude of gratitude will ALWAYS bring you happiness.  Find something to be thankful for.  We are all constantly surrounded by so many gifts and blessings.

2.  View every encounter and experience as a gift.  Even the seemingly bad situations are a gift in the end.  Try to recognize and appreciate these gifts every day.

3.  Be kind to everyone, but spend the majority of your time with like-minded, positive people who are also committed to improving their personal and spiritual growth and are willing to support you…

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Near Death Experiencers are Making Spirituality as Mainstream as Yoga

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 10 Comments

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“I believe that the greatest truths of the universe don’t lie outside, in the study of the stars and the planets. They lie deep within us, in the magnificence of our heart, mind, and soul. Until we understand what is within, we can’t understand what is without.” ― Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

Liberating Communication:  When I hear people tell me to use cation when talking about communicating with angel guides or hearing messages from deceased loved ones, I look at these people and wonder what rock they crawled out from under.  Haven’t most people heard of Doreen Virtue, James Van Prague, Edgar Cayce, Esther Hicks, Johnathan Edward, Louise Hay, or any of the thousands of writers published by Hay House Press?

When skeptics still talk about NDEs as only the brain shutting down, I wonder if they are starting to run out of excuses as more and more accounts flood in from doctors and surgeons who have had NDEs and as more people come back and verify details happening in the same room, the next room, down the hall, or across the continent or globe.

I’m not speaking my truth in order to counter any religion or belief system.  My hope is that my experiences from the other side help others to embrace basic truths found in most religions. As long as a religion has love as its central message, it does not counter what I experienced of God.  Love is the most important part of life.  Additionally, messages about not harming others and living more fully connected to others and nature are vital.   Little children often know from that essential, heart-centered part of themselves how to love all people and work to end conflicts with others.  Any religion or spiritual teaching that focuses on these truths helps people live better lives.

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Isn’t spirituality mainstream now?   Hasn’t Oprah featured enough spiritual leaders that many of their messages are now mainstream?  For the past twenty years, I’ve seen countless meditation teachers and spiritual teachers reach levels of national fame.  Possibly my area of the country in Fort Worth, Texas is more conservative than cities I enjoy visiting like Sedona, San Diego, Los Angeles, Portland and Seattle.  I feel more at home around like-minded people, but I also know that part of my mission as a teacher and college professor in Texas has been to open the minds of young people who might not have a lot of exposure to different ways of thinking.

In the classroom, I don’t spend any time talking about channeling, angels, or such topics.  I might tell my NDE story once if I am asked about it.  I cover the curriculum.  I’m a logical person in love with facts and statistics.   I love literature and reading, and teach American Literature and Creative Writing.  However, many poems and topics in literature allow me to talk about human nature, connection to nature, current issues in society, and personal growth and development. Most people would never know I am channeling.  My voice doesn’t change other than perhaps slowing down for emphasis.  I don’t get a faraway, theatrical look in my eye.  I don’t break into noticeable, off-topic rambling in the middle of lectures.  Sometimes, I catch a student’s eye, and I feel loving guidance prompting me to say something related to the topic we are discussing that might help this person on their journey.  I believe my words can be healing, and this healing can be spontaneous.  Sometimes, I pass a student in the hallway and start a conversation that might help that person.

Many people who are intuitive and can read body language can connect with students in this manner.  I know I am channeling only because I saw angels on the other side send light and healing through my surgeons and into my body.  If angels could work through my surgeons to heal me, I believe they can work through me to heal others.  Also, when I channel, I feel a certain warmth take over my body, and this warmth feels like unconditional love from the other side.   The huge moment of grace I received during my near death experience is something I want to pass on to others in any way that I can.  If my writing helps others feel the love the divine gave to me, then I will keep writing.  If my teachings and lectures help others feel moments of the divine, then I will keep communicating.

“Simply give to yourselves that which you need – which is love and appreciation without judgment.” ― Réné Gaudette

Faith:  As far as my own faith goes, I took a vow as a teacher to “do no harm.”  During the life review portion of my NDE, I was certain that I must try to avoid harm wherever possible and to remind others of the healing power of nature and the importance of loving the innocent, child-like part of themselves.  The light from the other side of this life instructed me to be a teacher, and I am always filled with buoyancy and happiness the minute my feet have stepped onto the campus.  I get excited by the possibility of what information might flow through me from my divine messengers of light.  I never doubted their existence because I witnessed them in action.  I have, over the years, become more sensitive to the process as I receive messages.

Outside of the body, groups of thoughts were sent into my spiritual form all at once.  The spirit body can receive transmissions of information much quicker than the human mind.  If you can imagine the brain as a slower, outdated computer in comparison to the spirit, then you might see how large bodies of information are transferred during NDEs, OBEs, and other moments of spiritual communication.  When I’m given information in the classroom, this information is given usually to help one particular student in need at that moment.  Some messages are general enough to benefit groups of students.  Sometimes, I am only reinforcing ideas students know who are already in an awakened state.  Other times, I see it is impossible to penetrate the fear surrounding a person at a particular time in his or her life.  In those moments, I can only hope that my classroom was a safe environment, and that those students might stretch their wings and shine at a later time in their lives.

It is only due to our concepts that we feel separate from the world. We are isolated by ideas of inadequacy, ideas of danger, ideas of loneliness, and ideas of rejection. While we may indeed face external difficulties, our thoughts can amplify them—or even create them—leading us deeper into delusion. If we do not want to be enslaved by our thoughts, we can choose to transform our minds. In any given moment, do I choose to strengthen the delusion or the truth of connection?-Sharon Salzberg

Beyond the NDE:  When I contemplate the idea of faith, I know that I never doubt the other side and the beauty I saw during my NDE.  Staring down death, I will feel happiness to enter that light-filled, love-filled dimension again.  I do not look forward to aging or more physical pain. I do not look forward to leaving behind people, places, and experiences I love, but I know that love is what we take with us.  Love gets written into the fiber and essence of our being.   We never lose that experience of love.  The pain of this life is washed away, not the love.

I don’t know what comes next after completly merging with the most loving force I’ve ever experienced.  I know that the closer I got to the light in my NDE, the less concerned I was about leaving anything here on earth.  That love was more intoxicating, more satisfying, and more peaceful than any experience I have had.

Channeling:  I don’t claim to have perfect control over my abilities as a channel.  I only know that when I make myself available and of service to others, there is a great chance that angels will communicate through me to specific individuals.  Sometimes, channeling is more like plugging in quickly to a consciousness greater than my own, somewhat like the moments outside of my body when I began to merge with everyone I had ever known.  Greater truths became evident and easier to pick out.

Many great poets, writers, songwriters, and filmmakers certainly have tapped into the collective unconscious and accessed information beyond their own understanding.  That is the magic of art.  When you are open, miracles can flow through you.

All I have are my experiences, my thoughts, and my remembrance of how the angels readily sent me messages with alacrity.  When I experience that particular sensation in this body, I know that I am connecting to the other side.  I have faith that those who speak a message of love for the self, respect for others, understanding of multiple perspectives, earth stewardship, and connection to nature are on a path to quicken the enlightenment of humanity.

“Our eternal spiritual self is more real than anything we perceive in this physical realm, and has a divine connection to the infinite love of the Creator.” ― Eben Alexander, Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife

Trauma and Faith:  Although my faith has wavered as I experienced trauma and the hatefulness and delusion of certain people I have come in contact with on my path, I know that time has a way of using even these experiences to help others.  I only have my response, and my response to help others avoid trauma or to add light to their journey towards greater wholeness and health.   It is not my path to reach out to those who have abused and harmed me.  My path is to help those who have been harmed and abused, and to remind them of their light, their beauty, and their importance.

Being a victim does not take anyone away from the love of the Divine; rather, it can bring people closer and remind them of their strength and connection to others.  Trauma, much like profound spiritual experiences, remind us that there is more to life than the body.  Though the body can be harmed and killed, there is something much more beautiful that continues on.  One’s soul releases pain on the other side and only holds on to love.  It makes sense to me to love oneself deeply through every experience, and to extend this love to the moments and people in your life that bring you joy.

Destiny:  I can no longer pretend to agree with others who believe it is professionally or personally unwise to speak my truth.   Although I have free will, I don’t think I can avoid my destiny, and my destiny is to talk about spiritual truths with others.  I believe all messages of love are important. I want to see others feel greater empathy and love for themselves and for others.  Once we all remember our true, eternal, spiritual nature, all fear, suffering, and chaos will disappear from our earth.

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Don’t Fight Change…Become the Light of the World

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 1 Comment

IMG_1336I was at a satori this evening led by Dr. Jan Holden who spoke about her extensive research on NDEs. I know Jan, and she uses part of my story in her presentation.  I felt blessed to connect with the lovely people there.  It was beautiful to see how Dr. Holden ties together the experiences of children and various adults together in her talk.  One little girl she mentioned talked about how she had to fight negative forces in order to come back into her body during her NDE.  When the researcher asked her how she fought these forces she said simply and poignantly, “With my heart.” The wisdom of children is astonishing.  As forgetful adults, we have so much to learn from them about love.

Negative and Positive NDEs:  The majority of research about NDEs comes from the Western perspective, and largely the focus has been on positive, pleasant NDEs.  I read Dr. Holden’s book, but hearing her reiterate a few major points brought certain messages home for me.  Dr. Holden discussed how some negative NDEs become positive experiences after the soul stops fighting the experience and continues down the tunnel towards the light.  The idea of reluctant souls fighting the dying process and creating their own hell reminded me of how people create their own hells by fighting change here on earth.  They cling to the darkness instead of moving toward the light.

Darkness represents all that they know, and they fear they will no longer be themselves if they embrace change and become one with that change.  Change is freeing though.  It is like breathing after holding your breath and fighting for so long.  Change is an ocean I will always dive into, and feel the gentle waves and the large waves crash over my body.  Can a person be too free?  I don’t think so.

Dallas Shooting:  Tonight as I think about struggle and the pain people create, I cannot help thinking about the tragedy in Dallas which is just down the road from me.  My hope for Dallas is that stronger, diverse communities focused healing will be strengthened and created here.  What everyone needs is understanding and the ability to empathize with one another.  The more safe places there are in this world for people to grieve and understand many different perspectives, the safer this world becomes.  At Barnes and Nobles this afternoon, a wise man said to me, “The majority of police men and women are very good people.  The majority of PEOPLE of all races and nationalities in this country and in other countries are very good people.  Let us not forget this fact.”

Much Goodness: I am certain that the majority of people I interact with are good and kind.  However, the news does not focus on the healers, the activists, the social workers, the teachers, the ministers, the nurses, and the millions of others who live their lives to help others and help this world.  These people exist, but we do not see their stories broadcast across their airwaves.  They exist and you know they do.

I want to turn my focus to a solution that brings people together to send so much love and understanding into this world that injustice against any living being is impossible.  This is my goal for our planet.  I know that so much love and beauty is around us at all times in the hearts and minds of others.  Reach out with the intention to heal this world, and you will find goodness all around you.

Be the Divine: At the end of my NDE, I was told to come back to the earth and work as a teacher. I have known for a while that teaching in a traditional format will not be the only type of teaching I will do in my lifetime.  The study of literature naturally opens up topics that allow me to discuss my near death experience, and for years, I have reminded students to be the light of the world as they journey from my classroom.  I love my job, but I feel a change entering my life, and I will not fight it.   I’m smiling at it, and bekoning it closer.

I hope to remind more people than the many students who have flowed through my classrooms of their light, power, and purpose. The darkness, engrained patterns, and anger will struggle against the light, but only for a while.  Like the forgetful souls who struggle against the dying process only to remember that they are going home, going deep into the embrace of the most blissful, loving force they can imagine, we are on the verge of a great societal change.  Struggle is a form of hell.  Embrace change.  Become a great force of love and light.  I have the power to heal, and so do you.

Go to the Light:  When I think of those forgetful souls struggling against the dying process and creating hell for themselves, I have to thank Saturday Night Live for this brilliantly funny skit about a negative NDE. Don’t struggle people.  You will only make it harder for yourselves.  Go to the light!  And, sometimes, humor is the light.

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Loving Feminist

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

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Loving Feminist

Although there is plenty of injustice and violence toward women that goes unpunished or under punished in this country and around the world, the idea of feminism can be approached from a soul’s perspective and from a loving perspective.  “Angry” feminist is not the only type of feminist.  Roxanne Gay extended the discussion of feminism in an engaging, interesting way in her book Bad Feminist.  Gay examines familiar, cultural topics in brave, thought-provoking, and sometimes amusing ways.

Fourth Wave Feminism:  I consider myself part of the fourth wave of feminism as an activist, writer, and professor who wants to ensure that women are safe in this world.  Take Back the Night and One Billion Rising are great organizations to check out if you want to become involved in supporting women’s rights.  I have the strong belief and faith that all of my students–male and female–want to end violence against women, and they want to know what they can do to combat gender violence.

When you see everything that happens in our world from the soul’s perspective, you see that everything happening in reality has the opportunity to help us all evolve and grow.  Even painful moments in reality can be used to make positive changes in our world.  For instance, cases like Brock Turner’s six-month sentence for rape or the cover-up of cases at Baylor University can bring healing to the world as more people start working to change our world and make it safer for women.  Since these recent events, more women are talking about their experiences with stalking, rape, and assault and bringing these issues more clearly into the light.

After writing about my story about rape in a foreign country, I am certain that changes will eventually occur in South Korea for foreign teachers.  A recent story in the news is bringing more attention to the police force in Korea and the rape culture in that country. Part of the evolution and change needed is the reeducation of the South Korean police force about how to process and understand the cultural differences they might encounter when working with English teachers from England, the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.  If the Korean police force changes how they react to rape, assault, domestic violence, and harassment charges for Korean women as well as foreigners, Korea will make a huge leap forward in consciousness.

The Necessary Evolution of our Culture:  As more people share their experiences of rape, assault, and stalking, a natural shift towards prevention and reeducation will occur at college campuses.  Victim blaming will greatly diminish as more victims share their perspectives.  Victims of harassment, stalking, sexual abuse, and rape are not rare; rather, they are common.  For years, we heard 1 in 7 women were raped.  New studies report that 1 in 5 women have been raped.  As greater numbers of men realize how common these problems are, more men who are not abusive will stand up for women, protect women, and work to reeducate sexist and abusive men around them.

Role models of men who work to end sexism and gender violence will become more common.   Whenever I show this particular Ted Talk video by Jackson Katz, my students are open to his message.  Jackson Katz is a pioneer in the discussion of gender violence, and he reframes domestic violence, sexual abuse, and rape as male issues not women’s issues.  He encourages men to play an active role and not a passive role with other men who engage in sexist or abusive behavior.

Mostly, Katz combats victim blaming by changing the focus of the discussion from asking why “she” is a battered woman to asking, “Why is domestic violence still a big problem in the United States and all over the world? What’s going on? Why do so many men abuse, physically, emotionally, verbally, and other ways, the women and girls, and the men and boys, that they claim to love? What’s going on with men? Why do so many adult men sexually abuse little girls and little boys? Why is that a common problem in our society and all over the world today? Why do we hear over and over again about new scandals erupting in major institutions like the Catholic Church or the Penn State football program or the Boy Scouts of America, on and on and on? And then local communities all over the country and all over the world, right? We hear about it all the time. Why do so many men rape women in our society and around the world? Why do so many men rape other men? What is going on with men? And then what is the role of the various institutions in our society that are helping to produce abusive men at pandemic rates?”  

Too often our culture and media focuses on the negative and stories about some of the worst characters in society.  These characters become a part of our consciousness.  One of the many things I love about higher education is the opportunity to focus on people and stories that uplift our spirits, people who are doing great things in this world, people who are working to heal this world.  Why not focus on solutions?  Jackson Katz  offers men a list of ten things that can be done to prevent gender violence.  I’ve copied the list below.

TEN THINGS MEN CAN DO TO PREVENT GENDER VIOLENCE

  1. Approach gender violence as a MEN’S issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
  2. If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner — or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general — don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don’t know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON’T REMAIN SILENT.
  3. Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don’t be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.
  4. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.
  5. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.
  6. Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the work of campus-based women’s centers. Attend “Take Back the Night” rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women’s shelters. If you belong to a team or fraternity, or another student group, organize a fundraiser.
  7. Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (eg. the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).
  8. Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence.  Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
  9. Don’t fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any Web site, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.
  10. Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men’s programs. Lead by example

Copyright 1999, Jackson Katz. www.jacksonkatz.com
Reprint freely with credit.

Loving Feminist:  Although there are plenty of reasons for women to be angry, and women tend to see this more clearly the longer they live and the more they live through, there are also ways to approach feminism from a place of healing and a place of love.  I am a woman who loves and believes in each of my students.  I care about their success and their empowerment.  Because I care deeply about my students, I know that they respect my journey as well.  In my lifetime, I have faced sexist teachers, a couple of sexist professors, a few sexist employers, two stalkers, one rapist, and a violent first husband.  Despite these encounters, I love men and believe in their basic goodness.  I believe that as a whole men are generous, protective, gracious, brave, intelligent, kind, hilarious, and strong.

As a woman who loves men, I ask that men do their best to protect the women they know and come in contact with at work, in their families, and in random places.  This protection might be as simple as pulling out your phone and calling the police as a way to diffuse a moment of domestic violence episode you observe in the world.  I don’t recommend directly jumping in and risking your well-being.  Perhaps you might find the strength of character to talk to an acquaintance calmly about sexist or abusive behavior. Maybe you will simply say a prayer for all living beings to find peaceful ways of interacting with one another.

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For men who have been victims of other men’s violence as a child, teen, or later in life, I pray for your quick, deep, profound and permanent healing.  I also hope that you might be moved to work in whatever way you can to end gender violence.

For every woman who reads this, may your future be cleared of any violent acts against you.  If you have been victimized in any way may you find quick, deep, profound and permanent healing.  You are stronger than you realize because you are an amazing survivor.   May you also drop competitive behavior with other women and support them.  Use your strength to support other women and work in whatever way you can to end gender violence.  And remember, you are stronger than you realize.  I am sorry that your journey has been so difficult, but evolution of our culture and consciousness is more than possible.  It is probable.

Special Note:  For any woman who is currently being abused, know that the best thing you can do is to leave that abusive relationship in a safe, planned out way.  Start talking to everyone who can help you–police officers, social workers, shelters, friends, neighbors, teachers, professors, nurses, doctors, family members, ministers, therapists, etc.  Don’t stop talking until you get the help you need and get away from that situation.   It is not in your best interest to stay.  You are not the one who will most likely facilitate the change that he needs to undergo.  You are the last person he will listen to because he abuses you.  He might start listening to other people and get the help he needs when he no longer gets away with abuse.

By no means is violence limited to men.  Certainly, many women are violent to their children, to family members, to other women, and to their boyfriends and husbands.  Years ago, I heard a shaman say that power would eventually shift to women, but women must be careful not to make the same mistakes as men with their power.  For anyone involved with an abusive woman, the same advice applies.  Talk about her abuse to everyone and anyone who can help.  Report her crimes, leave her, and pray she finds a community of people who will help her evolve and change.

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Lucid Dreaming: The Beauty of Dream Control

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 19 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.  I also have a section in this book about learning to lucid dream while in my body cast after my accident and near-death experience.

Dream Control:  Dream control is certainly possible.  I discovered the “hand technique” popularized by Carlos Castaneda as I recovered from a major  accident which required a year of physical  recovery. Castaneda suggests looking at your hand each night before bed.  The first time I willed myself to have a lucid dream I stared at my hand for about ten to fifteen minutes before bed, making my hand the mental anchor. I told myself repeatedly that if I saw my hand in my dream, I would realize I was dreaming and be able to control the dream at that point.  I would not let the reality of the dream change into anything I didn’t want it to turn into.

I’m sure there are many different suggestions about how to have a  lucid dream  and even different interpretations of Castaneda’s book The Art of Dreaming, but using my hand as a mental anchor worked for me.  It took a full month of practice before I was able to have a lucid dream.  I had a lot of downtime after the accident, so I can imagine it might take longer for other people with more stress in their lives.  Also, I had experienced a near-death experience during my surgery and that might have made it easier for me to be successful with dream control.

Success with the Technique:  After a month of practice, I had a dream where I had a date with a guy who drove a red Ferrari.  The guy said something arrogant, and I’ve never cared much for flashy, red cars. I got out of the car and slammed the door.  In the process, I slammed my hand in the car door.  My hand hurt, and I looked down and stared at my throbbing, painful hand.  In that moment in the dream, I clearly saw my mental anchor.  I began lucid dreaming at this point.

I smiled, relishing the control, and immediately healed my hand. Then, I waved happily to the man standing by his car in confusion.  I wished him better luck with the next date, and then I shot up into the sky like a superhero with a mission to eradicate all human pain and suffering.  Flying felt amazing, just like it had when my spirit left my body during surgery and flew through the walls of the hospital and out over the night sky in Austin.

In the dream, the world was bright with sunlight, and I flew in large, relaxed circles above the ground, looking down at our beautiful world and feeling wide expansive freedom as if I were an eagle.  From this vantage point, I thought about how most people on earth desire love and money, so my mission started by giving everyone gold, as a symbol of abundance and being aware of their own spiritual light.

What Do We Really Want to Give Ourselves and Others?:  As I flew around the world in this amazing dream, I looked down and saw that I could make everyone feel more light-filled and joyful.  I also wanted to make certain that no one on earth felt hungry, lacked shelter, or felt physical pain.  I spread love and ecstasy into all the hearts and souls on the planet.  Those who desired a companion, a community, a great love found these connections, but they loved themselves all the more, knowing that our journey is sometimes a solitary one.  Most things and people leave us in one form or another, so I gave everyone love and strength to be their own spirit guide, to love themselves deeply and to guide themselves home, flying free of all chains of the material.

After bringing peace and contentment to the planet,  I still had time in the dream, and I considered what I wanted for myself on a hedonistic, pleasure-seeking level.  I decided to make love with four different men that night—Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas, Andy Garcia, and Matthew McConaughey. Though fun, I thought true love would be a better experience, and imagined what it would feel like to love someone deeply and for a long while.  I imagined a happy, blissful romance and loving companion.  I sped through time and saw our deaths, and then sped back in time.

After experiencing true love, I continued with hedonistic pleasures and ate a big portion of a thickly frosted wedding cake in a castle at a young, happy couple’s fancy, festive wedding.  Then, I thought about what would make for a perfect ending to a wildly fantastic dream and decided that I wanted to feel what it felt like to be a great, brilliant composer.

As I flew through the pink clouds of sunrise, I imagined that I wrote every note of Mozart’s Magic Flute, deeply pleased with what it must’ve felt like to be a musical genius with the ability to create such happy, joyful sounds.  At the end of the dream, I flew into the light of the divine which manifested itself as the sunrise over mountains.  I sent more love to everyone on the planet, telling them they were o.k. and everything would be fine.  I believed this for myself as well.

Lucid Dreaming Now: When I lucid dream  or participate in dream yoga now, I work on smaller scenarios and usually continue to enjoy what it feels like to be like a bird in flight.   Not just a bird exactly, but a bird with powers of manifestation.  I’m not sure why I always prefer to fly in dreams, but flight makes me feel freer in the morning.  I envy birds and their view of our world.  I think a lot of problems look much smaller from a high vantage point.

Maybe Nelly Furtado’s song, “I’m like a bird, I’ll only fly away” has been an anthem of mine for a while.  I’m trying to learn to fly away in my dreams and keep my feet firmly planted on earth during the day.  Maybe when they say, “She’s/He’s a free spirit,” they mean this person can fly in his or her dreams.  Maybe I want to teach the world to fly and never drink coke.

I hope everyone gets to fly like an eagle at least once in their dreams.

Peace to all.

Your Destiny is to Heal, Serve, and Love Unconditionally

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

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You can have much greater happiness when you turn your attention and consciousness to the presence of God within you.

Believe in Your Divinity:  You are the divine spark.  You are blessed and more beautiful and expansive than you fully grasp.  Your power for good in this world is literally limitless because there is a part of you that is eternal, limitless, and timeless.

Sure, you feel small.  You feel barely heard or even unheard of from time to time, but you are large, and you bless the world wherever you travel, wherever you walk, and wherever you work.

Personally, I’ve grown tired of blocks to the Divine while living in this body and participating in the human experience, so I decided to do away with the blocks and live in a place of love as much of the time as I can handle.  My goal is to permanently reside there.

Of course, big goals leave a lot of room for failure, but I prefer big goals. Beethoven wanted to create music that transceneded time.  In a way, he did create music that transcends time, though I’m sure this particular goal made him work harder than he imagined possible.  I am sure there are days he felt like a failure despite all the beauty he created.

My concentration is on the Divine light inside of me, and my purpose of living is to remind you of your light and connection.  Too often, we turn on and off our connection, but it is better to leave the light turned on.  Never turn it out.

Control:  As humans, we can only control our body and our mind.  These two areas take a lot of discipline to master.  We cannot control much more than this, and it is amusing (and frustrating) to try to control others or to watch others try to control others.  Master what you can control–yourself.  There is joy and peace in this practice.

You turn your light out with a focus on all that you don’t have in the physical world. 

Be Grateful:  Out-picture and believe in what you want and rejoice in all that you have.  Show your gratitude to the world in small and large ways, and you will be rewarded.   Make a long list of even small things that you enjoy about life.

I am grateful to have lungs that work, strong legs that take me many places, new friends, old friends, and nearly perfect vision to see many beautiful parts of this world.

I am grateful for the kind people in my life.  I’m grateful for the diligence of my online students this summer session.  Even though I would prefer to meet them at least once, I hope they are enjoying their freedom as much as I am enjoying mine.  I hope they get to spend more time with their families and friends and enjoy more vacations.  I hope they get more rest since they don’t have to commute in order to be in class.

I am grateful simply to be alive.  I am lucky to be alive after all the near misses, the two guns pointed at me (one in a robbery at a place I worked for and one on the sidewalk in Austin).  I’m lucky to have survived the anger and aggression of certain men who seemed to want me dead in the moment. I’m lucky to have a soft bed to rest my head, three square meals a day, toothpaste that tastes good, tons of books, and a sense of rhythm on the dance floor.

Choose to Love Others:  I’m lucky that I’ve chosen to love many times throughout my life, and I wish I had loved more fully more often. Though many teachers talk about loving the self—loving others is brave, risky, and a worthy journey.  To send your love out like a letter without a return address, like a messenger pigeon in the middle of a war, like a surrender flag—this is beautiful.  I’m not talking about need and lust—people are eventually turned off when you want something from them.  Love is something you give and give freely without a return address.  No expectations.  Love someone, and they don’t have to love you back. Love for the sake of love, for the beauty of love, for loves ability to change the world.

I remember when I first learned to walk again after my surgery and near death experience.  I was a vibrant twenty–two year old woman, exquisitely happy to be alive.  My light was fully, almost explosively, turned on.   Sometimes street lights even popped off when I walked under them.  I blew out watches within days, weeks, or months of having them on my wrist.  Time was blessed and not something to be managed down to the minute. Connecting with others and enjoying each moment is what mattered.

I walked down city streets of Austin and smiled into the eyes of everyone I passed.  Many people were so angry, upset, and disgusted with their lives that they scowled back in return. They were often overworked, unhappy, and unfulfilled.  They focused on all the burdens and bad luck that seemed to have come their way.  They were angry at others instead of simply being happy to be alive.  Joy and passion seemed far from their reach. Some women felt their value in society had decreased as they aged, and they were envious of my youth or perceived attractiveness.  They scoffed at my smile.   I promised myself to be a different type of woman throughout my time on earth and decided to support all women no matter where they are in their journey or what physical form they jumped into for this merry-go-round trip around the sun.  Some men flirted with me when all I wanted to do was smile.  Some people were centered enough to receive my love and ecstatic, newborn-like joy as something worthy of a return smile.   Some people were sincerely curious why I was so happy and listened to my story with interest.   Some people felt that divinity brought me into their lives just at the right time–just as they lost a loved one or struggled with the recent loss of a loved one.  They believed that my story of the other side was part of their healing journey.

Accept the Love of Others:  Most people readily accept ecstatic joy in the eyes of an infant or toddler, a tiny being enthralled with the colors and wonders of this world.  Why, then, can’t we accept ecstatic joy from people of all ages and nationalities?  We are all travelers going in the same direction—eventually home.

Why not let your light shine right now?  Why not love the light you see in others whether they are at the beginning, middle, or end of their journey.  Why not love without censorship or discrimination?  Why not love?  Most of all, why not love yourself with a love than never ends?  Why not be healed?  Why not serve others in the best ways that you can?