Forgive * Love * Heal

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Forgive — Love — Heal

I’m reading Dr. Rajiv Parti’s book Dying to Wake Up, and when he begins to actively heal any remaining depression, fear, addiction, or pain in his life he is given the words forgive, love, and heal.  Like Dr. Parti, I decided to write a short response to each of these words myself.  You might try this yourself as a healing writing exercise to release any negative energy and return to balance.  Dr. Parti describes negative pent up energy as “black balloons” inside the body that need to be deflated and released to attain greater health.

Forgive

Forgiveness is a letting go—all the fire, the flesh, the material angst, the passion, the wronged beating heart, and the gritted jaw are released.   Breath returns like a fall leaf gracefully descending to earth.  In spirit form, there is nothing to forgive—the chains of the flesh are shaken off, so why not forgive what is soon to be forgotten?  Why not stream away from those wounds now?  Do this for yourself—not for another.  The other might be far down a tunnel of life in his or her own dimension of space and time.  Bless that person if you can, but definitely love yourself for breaking free of…

…the anger that makes your hands shake, rage that makes you dream of saying the worst possible words or worse…

Bless yourself for becoming stronger with each disappointment, each wounding of your innocence.  Bless yourself in every moment of your suffering, but most of all board an express jet on an international flight far away from pain.  When you leave, know that you will indeed find a geographical cure except it will be a spiritual one.  And in that new, spacious place you will stare into the expanse hopefully.  When you arrive there full of possibility…

…Stay balanced.  Stay clean.  Stay pure of heart and filled with love all the live long days of your lovely life.

Love

It is acceptable to send love to the one in darkness—the one lost in the mired, toxic soup of ego, judgement, and pain.  It is suggested that you lay down your swords of delusion and embrace a garden of flowers, grounding yourself by standing in the bright green earth wet with dew.  It is permissible to love the unlovable, even if only for a moment.

It is a great idea to love the lost boys and girls you may never meet.  They are wandering the world like broken flags, like weeping doves, like cigarette butts left behind as a clue.

It is allowable to love yourself as you are—unloved or loved by many and known by only a few.  It is fine to breathe just as you are—a child still though grown into a woman or man’s body.  Love the many steps that got you here, and the ones that will carry you onward brightening the path for others.

Heal

You will see something shimmering like morning breaking through dark curtains.  You will throw open the curtains and feel intimately drawn to the sunlight rising over the forest-dense mountains in the distance.  Coffee will not be necessary because your heart will jump quantum leaps into delight and health, ready to meet the day.

That child who you once were—returned.

That dream that you once chased & lost—found.

That hope that withered in the heat—blossoms again.

A few more reflectionsForgiveness is an immediate trip and vacation away from all that causes pain.  When in spirit form during my NDE, forgiveness happened instantly as there was no more attachment to the form and familiar thought patterns.  Back in form, forgiveness is something I had to continue to practice, especially as I encountered shocking, new wounds. Forgiveness is something we all must continue to practice.  I think of those who are quick at forgiveness like ballroom dancers.  They quick step and glide with a practiced grace into a new, upbeat life.

In the afterlife, love is an experience, a birthright, an all-consuming peace.  In form, love is something we must remember and practice as well.  Like a great musician, when we learn to play love in every situation our world expands and grows more light-filled.

Healing is a topic that is precious to me and the subject of my memoir in progress.  There is healing to be found through access to the divine and the other side.  There is healing to be found in nature.  There is great healing to be found in helping others grow and succeed. There is also great healing to be found in making your own healing a priority.

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Aftereffects of Near-Death Experiences: Psychological and Physiological Changes

Aftereffects According to IANDS:  I wish that I had a copy of this particular list of aftereffects of NDEs.  The information would have helped me integrate my experience into my life a bit easier.  IANDS researchers claim that 80% of experiencers are forever changed because of their experiences and break the phenomenon down into psychological and physiological changes.  I knew I was changed the minute I woke up from surgery because I cared much more about the spiritual world than the material world.  My future plans were immediately altered.  Mostly, I knew that I wanted my final life review to contain several moments where I helped others.  I wanted to live a life where I was connected to many people, even if I could only help them in small ways.  Before my NDE, I was not a bully or mean person, but I was materialistic, fearful, and judgmental.  I saw how my own fears and insecurities vanished with a connection to purpose and to the divine love of God, and I wanted other people to experience this love and sense of purpose as well.

My Aftereffects:  I made a YouTube video about some of the aftereffects of my NDE including a more spiritual outlook and a knowing that I was immortal soul in physical form, continued out of body episodes, psychic displays, universal love for everyone, kundalini surges and electrical sensitivity which affected the functioning ability of technology and wrist watches.

Psychological Changes:  In the video about aftereffects I spend a lot of time on the sudden development of psychic abilities and spontaneous OBEs.  My spirit form seemed loosely connected to my physical form for a few years after the NDE and any memory of physical trauma or sensory overload could cause me to pop out of form.  Additionally, there were personality reversals such as going from mostly introverted to definitely extroverted, as well as relying more on feelings than rational thoughts.

After the loss of my father, I realized that I could communicate with those in the afterlife. An apparently less-addressed aftereffect is what Holden (2013) termed spontaneous mediumship experiences (SMEs) based on her anecdotal observations.  You can watch her talk about this phenomenon here.  SMEs are a subset of after-death communication.  Some NDRrs are able to communicate with other people’s loved ones in the afterlife and give them messages.  I recently wrote about one instance of this type of communication in this post.

Timelessness is not something I discussed in the video, but I am sure I seemed a bit spacy to many people.  I could happily watch a bird in a tree for thirty minutes and be fully entertained by the beauty of small moments in life.  I was simply happy to be alive and enthralled by my senses.  I did not feel a need to rush; rather, I felt a deep need to fully connect with others and enjoy my life.  I do not see this trait as a negative.  There were so many people I observed once I was back in Austin who seemed rushed, stressed, and upset about the details in their lives.  I wanted to give them some of my peace, but sometimes my smile was returned with an annoyed frown.

Physiological Changes:  In the video, I discuss my energy and my effect on the functioning of technology.  Although I did not read about how many NDErs could not wear watches, after blowing out four watches in a very short amount of time I knew this change had to be tied to my NDE.  My logical mind wondered if being revived during surgery somehow added extra electricity into my body, but on another level I knew this change must be a spiritual change.  Perhaps the timelessness I felt could simply not reside next to a watch continually keeping time.

In the video, I forgot to describe a physiological aftereffect about a year after my NDE. When I returned to Austin to finish my senior year of college, I was ecstatic to be back in town. My energy level was extremely high, and a friend and I were walking along a small neighborhood street. The street lights began to flicker on, and as we walked under the first one, the light exploded. We laughed and kept walking, but the second light also exploded. I told my friend that I thought my NDE caused me to have these types of experiences. My friend said that the lights were probably installed at the same time and were simply going out. I wanted to believe what we were experiencing was a coincidence, but we walked under the third light this light exploded loudly and glass flew in our direction. A little startled, we moved to the other side of the street. The next few lights flickered as we walked by, but did not explode or go out.

Many Changes:  There are too many changes to list, but my life was definitely altered after my NDE.  Though I did not always see auras, there were moments when I would see a purple light around a particular musician playing in a band or a soft pink light around an especially sweet, loving person.  I did not want to seem odd or too different from my friends by talking about these experiences, and I wanted many of the abilities to be toned down so that I could simply live my life and accomplish goals.

In many ways, these changes after my NDE are a blessing.  I have an easier time of integrating a very different type of knowing than the rational, straight-forward way of approaching the world, and I encourage other NDErs and those who are awakening to read about ways to integrate these abilities into your day to day lives.

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A Way Out of Depression:  Give More Than You Receive

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This may sound like the worst possible solution, and I understand your frustration at hearing these words.  When you barely have the energy to get out of bed, when you don’t want to face the next moment or the next moment, the idea of helping others seems too difficult of a feat.  How can you help someone when you need so much help?

The answer is simple. All around you people have tougher struggles than you do.  In the act of serving them, you find forgiveness for your particular wounds and begin to see the blessings of your own life more clearly.  Your connection to others, however briefly, reinvigorates you and puts you in touch with the divine flow of grace and love from the other side.

During my near-death experience, I saw quite clearly that angels can work through those who are in action.  You might feel this heavenly energy or someone else might feel this energy and benefit from it.  Whether the energy is recognized or not, know that helping the world become a better, kinder place will give you greater self-esteem.  Most near-death experiencers clearly realize that the greatest aspect of love is not what we receive but what we give to the world.  The love that you give is a currency more valuable than money because it is a memory you will be proud to relive both in your life and in your afterlife.

Helping others does not mean inserting yourself into situations where you are not welcomed or giving unwanted advice or opinions.  Helping others does not mean looking for an attractive person to help simply because you want to be near him or her in the hope that this person might like you.  Aim for unconditional, altruistic actions, and do not except anything in return.  Your nobleness of character will be your greatest return, and you will experience more love, perhaps not exactly in the way you expected to be loved but love will pour into your life the more you give.

Open your eyes to the needs of others.  Perhaps there is a disabled veteran in your area who needs a ride to the grocery store or to appointments.  Maybe you could grocery shop for a disabled veteran or elderly person.  My sweet, loving grandmother died of Alzheimer’s disease while I was teaching English in South Korea.  I hope someone, even a kind stranger, visited her in the nursing home and gave her love.  She gave me much love to me through her prayers, unconditional love, and well-wishes.  She deserved kindness and connection in her final moments.  Consider visiting people in nursing homes and listening to them or simply be with them.  Consider becoming a hospice volunteer.  Consider volunteering at animal shelters or building homes for Habitat for Humanity.

In my area, Catholic Charities has served over 100,000 different families in need.  These families may be struggling in poverty or have other needs.  Many immigrants to this country could greatly benefit from someone who might help them fill out forms, learn English, find affordable grocery stores, and learn more about our culture.  The antidote to fear of others is getting to know them and help them.  You will find amazing stories of great struggle and human triumph in a population of immigrants.  I have met several elderly women who are raising numerous grandchildren whose parents have died from diseases or in bombings.  One woman I met and tutored was an Obstetrician in her own country.  I taught her conversational English so that she could find work in a laboratory cleaning lab equipment.  She hoped to be able to return to college and use her degree in the U.S., but the language barrier was a challenge at her at her age.  When you understand that many wonderful people did everything right in their lives and only had the unfortunate luck to be born in an area that suffered a great famine or war, your heart expands to include more people and more places in this world.

Be open to your own spiritual and emotional growth, and miracles will occur.  You might come across a great business idea or the love of your life while in action.  Neither of these things are guaranteed to occur, but the probability is much higher than if you are isolating and not living connected to others. You will definitely feel better about your life in the act of helping others, and feeling better is the first step to creating a better life.

By helping others, you will create more moments of heaven on earth.  One of my favorite photos is a photo of my Creative Writing students volunteering to tutor kids in a low-income school district.  The smiles on my beautiful college student’s faces mean a great deal to me.  I know that they are experiencing the bliss of being of service to others.   I hope you might experience this joy as well.

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Of course, consider being of service to yourself by finding the most nutrient dense fresh, raw, organic fruits and vegetables to eat.  I am a believer in the healing power of food and supplements, and Anthony William’s book Medical Medium recently added much greater healing to my life, but a healing journey is an individual one and different paths work for different people.  Search for therapists, healers, doctors, and teachers who can help you in your personal struggle.  Search for a place of worship that increases the love in your heart for yourself and for others.  Consider a meditation practice.  Definitely reach out for help immediately if you are in a place where you are considering suicide.  The suggestion to be of service is only a part of a much larger picture that is needed to address any of the causes of an underlying condition.

There is much to say on the topic of depression.   I am only suggesting what has worked for me and what I was shown about the power of love in action on the other side.  I have addressed the issue of depression in multiple ways for years, but when I look back at my life I know that my greatest joys in life have been the moments when I helped others.  Keep searching for what will work for you, and consider ways that you might want to make this world a more beautiful place.  I’ll leave you with a blog post offering ten helpful tips for dealing with depression.

Love Letter from God

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Dear Everyone,

I’m sorry for all the times you were not loved

by those around you. I’m sorry you were left alone

when all you wanted to do was to make people smile.

It is a shame that others didn’t want your silliness,

your goodness, and your sweetness.

They didn’t see that you were made in my image

and that you are a part of me, a part of God.

 

I’m sorry that you were born with a sensitivity

that should have been protected, a gorgeous sensitivity

that should have been cultivated and honored

but instead was sent harsh words, gaslighted, ignored,

degraded, and abused.  Your trusting nature and openness

was used against you time and time again,

but you met the world like an open flower,

full of love and sunshine. When you learned to close yourself off,

they called you damaged, as if you were

the one who did this to yourself.

 

I’m sorry that people were driven by jealousy, greed,

unchecked rage, fear, and other dark places in their minds.

I’m sorry that they lashed out at you without provocation.

You did nothing wrong.  I’m sorry for their torture

and all the moments afterwards that you carried

shock within you.  As much as I wanted to turn my face away

when people yelled at you, hit you, or otherwise abused you,

I stayed with you and observed everything.

I could never leave you.   I am the life that wants to live,

wants to continue no matter the amount of trauma.

When your world was turned to rubble by fire

and you had only a handful of food,

I was the hand and I was the food.

I was the bird in the sky that made you dream of flight.

 

When people hated you for your religion,

the way you worshiped, your politics,

the color of your skin, your gender, your sexual orientation,

your country, your home, your clothes, your accent, your IQ level,

your school, your car, your age, your optimism, your sadness,

I was never sorry to know you intimately.

I love you without reserve.

 

I’m glad you invited me in when no one else was there.

I’m amazed by your capacity for love and grateful

for all the times you sent swirling,

beautiful energy in my direction.

 

You are the love you give, not the love you receive from others.

I see the love you give and remember it.

This is all that I remember.

I want you to love yourself the way I love you–

exponentially always expanding, infinite in potential.

I love you and want to give you complete peace,

joy, wonder, grace, and a miraculous, triumphant life of love.

© 2016 by Tricia Barker

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I also made a video to accompany this letter from God.  For years, I have required students to pick images to accompany some of their writing or another person’s writing on a video presentation.  I enjoyed finally trying one myself.  Here it is!

Sexual Assault, Rape Culture, Healing from Trauma, and Anchoring Love in Our World

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My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformationis available for pre-order.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support of a pre-order.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I’m excited to have a narrative piece featured in OTV Magazine about sexual assault and the need for change in our society.  Click here if you would like to read it.

Sexual assault and violence against women is sadly common.  Over the years, many junior high, high school, and college students have confided in me about trauma in their lives currently or in their pasts.  As a junior high teacher, I became a quick expert at handling CPS and police officers.  This was a part of my job that I never imagined while taking college classes and planning lessons.

Changing Rape Culture:  In the future, let’s hope more men are caught on tape calling other men out on bad behavior and anchoring a better, safer world for women, other men, boys, and girls, not bragging about assault. At the very least, these men won’t lose as many of their jobs, clients, friends, family members, and elections if they start behaving differently.

Healing:  Most of all, I hope women who have become more aware of all the assault and trauma they have survived find even greater healing. Recovering from trauma can lead to growth and a greater connection to others.  There are many different methods of counseling and healing modalities to consider.

Each journey is individual, but I encourage every survivor to keep searching and trying different modalities until you find what benefits you the most.  Here is an interesting blog piece about healing the chakras through breath work and yoga.  Life-long patterns of fear and anxiety can be unraveled and reversed.  Many people realize that the mind, body and spirit must be healed after trauma. Here is another beautiful piece about holistic healing after sexual violence. 

Love:  Most of all, I am a big believer in loving yourself enough to heal all that has happened to you.  Matt Kahn’s basic message of love as the answer is a message that resonates with me personally as an NDEr.  Our world needs love that is stronger than all the hate we have witnessed in society.

I’ll leave you with a quote Marianne Williamson recently posted.  “At a time during which the world seems to be falling apart, the antidote to global chaos is a critical mass of people within whom the unintegrated fractals of life are finally coming together. This collective mutation, this alternative to the maladaptive behavior of our species, is appearing out of the mists even now. And from this ragamuffin, international smattering of souls groping however clumsily for enlightenment, there is emerging a forcefield of love so powerful and lasting that hatred itself will fall away in its presence. It is a light that when having attained full brightness, will shine away all darkness from the world. Our task is to assume this, stand on this, and add to this, with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our might. The light is here because it is always here, but we must be its lamps.”

 

God and the Afterlife Part II:  Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, and Religion

 

 

I had to make one more post about God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry because the many subjects covered in the book are certainly interesting ones.

Heaven:  The vast majority of NDErs experience heavenly realms, and one of the quotes that struck me came from a woman who talks about art as something reaching for the beauty of Heaven.  She states, “I realized that everything we create that is beautiful—all paintings, woven rugs, tapestries, carvings—all have their seed from Heaven.  We saw all this before we came to earth, and we try to recapture some of Heaven while on earth.”  The discussion of music that NDErs hear is also well-developed and lovely.  I didn’t hear music during my experience, but I can only imagine that it would be more pure and alive, as the grass seemed to be more pure and alive on that other side.

Other NDErs write about how everything is about love.  I heard the exact statement, “Love is all that matters.”  Another NDEr named Diane sums up this idea by saying, “It is all about love.  We must love ourselves, and in this way we love God.  He is within each of us.  We then can love others, even our enemies.  We are here to love life, and to express back to our Creator our joy at having life and seeing how beautiful our world is regardless of how we make it.”  The heavenly realms described in this section are similar to the one I saw, and the peace NDErs discuss offer readers lovely images and thoughts.

Hell:  The authors of this book reassure us that only a very small percentage, “…of all NDEs shared with NDERF are hellish.”  They point out that these types of experiences are difficult to study, but ultimately end up providing motivation to the NDEr to reconsider their lives prior to the experience.  The authors use the term “a walk through the Valley of Death” instead of hell as many of these experiences are simply just a glimpse at a hellish realm, and some souls choose God or call out to God and move onward in a more heavenly direction.

The authors also make it clear that “bad” people do not only have hellish NDEs, and “good” people do not have heavenly experiences.  Some of the hellish experiences may not be NDEs and could be intensive care unit (ICU) psychosis, illicit drug experiences, and so on.  However, some of these hellish experiences are experienced as real and intense, but many experiencers walk through these scenes and end up heaven.

The vast majority of NDErs experience a God who is made up of a powerful form of love and is deeply compassionate and resides within everyone.  Forgiveness may be the specialty of God and a form of love we can’t fully understand while caught up in the details of these lives.

Reincarnation:  One NDEr profiled in the book talks about the possibility of reincarnation and says that God showed a hall that had “…millions and millions of doorways leading off the hall.”   Basically, these doorways were particular paths back to a life on earth, but God let this NDEr know that souls have the choice to stay in heaven.

Not every NDEr comes back with this kind of knowledge about reincarnation.  I didn’t receive specific knowledge about reincarnation during my NDE, though it has always seemed like a possibility to me, perhaps because certain places in this country and around the world have felt familiar to me and not because of what I’ve read in books or seen in movies.

Books like The Afterlife of Billy Fingers offer greater depth on the possibilities in the extended version of the afterlife.  I know that my communications with my father in the afterlife have let me know that he is willing to return to a form because he loves so much about being human and wants to live better the next time.  Personally, I fantasize about not coming back to form and exploring how I may be able to help humanity on the other side.   This topic isn’t a large part of this book, but since one of the NDErs mentioned it, I feel compelled to address the topic briefly.

Religion:  One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me is the section on religion. Some NDErs directly asked God, “What is the right religion?”  One man received the answer, “They all are.  Each religion is a pathway trying to reach the same place.”  He was also told to “…always look at who benefits with regard to rules that religions make.  If it is a particular people or the power structure of the religion itself chances are that the religion isn’t of God.”  I have always loved the parts of the Bible where Jesus speaks directly, but I since I was a child I have resisted the ideas of certain sexist passages in the Bible.

Another NDEr asked whether only one religion will make it to heaven and was given the reply, “…everyone who believes and has faith, even those who don’t think they do, will make it.  It depends on what’s in their hearts.”  Again, this rings true for me.  Kindness and goodness seem to be the true indicator of a person who is on the right path.  Most NDErs, myself included, know how fragile life is and how we shouldn’t waste any of it on anger.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, and we should have gratitude and excitement about our lives.  Faith makes the journey all the more beautiful.

Most of the NDErs profiled describe a God who is powerful and deeply loving.  They struggle to find the vocabulary to describe a God who is everything that exists and everything that doesn’t exist.  One NDEr describes our purpose as learning how to “…experience life and learning how to love, create, and develop to the highest we can be.”  Sometimes, the best we can do is work towards harmony because “..the universe is full of order, so it always finds a way to balance everything because it can’t exist without perfect balance.”

When NDErs are given information about religion, “…they generally understand that no earthy religion is the ‘chosen religion’ or ‘the one true religion.’”  When or if they return to the same religion, they sometimes feel differently about the experience.  One NDEr writes, “Many times I’d like to take over the pulpit and tell people what is really on the other side and that the guilt preached by Christian churches is completely inappropriate.”

During my NDE, I was aware that I judged myself much harsher than the light of God judged me.  I know that guilt isn’t the way to overcome an addiction or an issue in one’s life.  Self-love is the first step that helps.  If we begin to love ourselves enough not to harm ourselves and look for ways to heal the wounds and deep seated pain that is often the cause of addiction, we begin to heal.  The few times I have attended a Baptist funeral or evangelical sermon, I usually want to pick up a Bible and hit the pastor in the side of the head.  Of course, I don’t do that because that wouldn’t be loving or kind, but that is how I feel after experiencing first-hand a love that surpasses all understanding and then hearing harsh judgements in a place of worship.

I agree with an NDEr who writes, “My God is loving and compassionate and lives within me as spirit lives within every one of us.”  God lives inside Christians as much as the Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, agnostics, and the spiritual/not religious.  Though this may be a difficult concept for some, it is a concept that makes complete sense if you fill your heart with love for all living beings. That love for all brings you closer to the love of God.

Reflections on God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Book Review

God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry is a fantastic book if you are even somewhat curious about conclusions that can be drawn from examining over 3,000 different accounts of near-death experiences.

For some reason, I only recently discovered the NDERF website .  This website allows NDErs to submit their own accounts of their experience and requires them to answer specific questions.  These questions allowed the researchers to compare various experiences and helped in the formation of this book.  I can certainly see how it would be both a long project and an inspiring one to examine so many of these accounts, and I’m grateful to the authors for examining this topic in such great depth.  I will create another post for some of my favorite moments in the book, but I want discuss the experience of God and the purpose driven lives so many NDErs talk about in this first post.

Early in the book, the authors sum up the significance of the similarities of the many NDEr’s accounts by saying, “It is highly unlikely they could all by lying or tricked by a subjective experience, since their reports are so similar.  Can these people be wrong?  For the evidence of the reality of God in the God Study to be dismissed, each one of the NDErs would have to be mistaken that they were aware of God…”

I have always looked at my near-death experience and encounter with God as the most real and important moment of my life.  When I was in the hospital and given heavy doses of morphine, my biggest fear was that I might somehow forget those moments outside of my body.  Quite the opposite occurred, and the memory of the experiences outside of form have stayed bright and clear over the years.

Accounts of God:  This book covers many accounts of God and the light, especially focusing on the unconditional love and mercy so many experiencers describe.   I still get emotional talking about the beauty of the light as I neared it, and I struggle to find the words to accurately describe a love that is both familiar and a part of me, but also incredibly immense, powerful, free, natural, and merciful. The light is love, knowledge, peace, and understanding.  When I struggle to describe God and the light, I am apparently not alone.  Many NDErs in this book mention the struggle to find the words to accurately describe an experience that lies beyond the scope of what we understand while in these bodies.

Many NDErs also want others to understand certain key concepts about this love.  At the basis of my experience, love seemed to be a deep, calming, complete acceptance, and I am also not alone according to the reports. Love is described as not judgement but as a profound, enveloping kind of love.  The authors sum up these experiences by saying, “…God’s love for each of us is complete, deep, and without reservation and extends to everyone and everything.  It is probably worth imagining what would happen if this revelation where embraced worldwide.”

Perhaps if this revelation were embraced, people’s energy would be spent on ways to make this life experience beautiful, peaceful, and happy for all of us.  That might seem like a far-fetched proposition, but it actually isn’t.  Life is meant to be enjoyed in simple, beautiful ways.

God’s Appearance:  NDErs experienced God’s appearance differently at times.  I experienced the afterlife as a place where form is easily mutable.  Since it is such a shock to be out of the body, the light/God seems to want us to feel at ease; thus, people and experiences may take on forms to put us individually more at ease in that environment.

The idea that God may take on different forms was repeated by many other NDE accounts. After telling a few people about my NDE, I was told by agnostics that what I experienced was a dream or the brain shutting down, and I was told by a few Christians (including some in my family) that my experience was “of the devil.”  Nothing could be farther from the truth, and God and the Afterlife might be the very book to open a few of the minds and hearts of people who continue to rely on these worn-out refutations.  The environment outside of my body was more real than this reality, and the love I encountered from God surpasses all human experiences, beliefs, creeds, religions, and philosophies.   That love seemed to be my true home, and I can only assume it is the true home for everyone.

NDErs Missions on Earth:  When NDErs have a moment where they must make a choice or they are told to return to earth, their reactions vary.  Some experiencers were lucky enough to ask what they should bring back to their lives with them.  I briefly saw that I should remind others of the light (which is knowledge, love, joy, appreciation of the moment) and to dispel fear in others while I worked as a teacher.  Other NDErs had longer conversations about the purpose of life, and this section of the book is fascinating.

One NDEr writes about our purpose for returning by saying, “I was told that I was here to learn how to love and to gain knowledge.  This wasn’t said with words, but by thoughts, with all connotations of the words “love” and “knowledge” shown to me.  I knew this wasn’t just about book knowledge or physical love.  It was about learning how to accept every race and have no prejudice; I was to keep expanding and learning about earth, nature, animals, and people.  And this was the mission of all humankind, not just me.”

This statement ties in perfectly to the idea of God’s profound love extending to each and everyone one of us.  There are other aspects of this book I hope to cover in another post, but for now I will leave you with these ideas.  It should be encouraging for everyone to realize that we are loved more than we can imagine, and that as we continue to grow in understanding we are more in touch with a loving God.  I highly recommend this book for those who are interested in the conclusions of extensive research based on the accounts of near-death experiences.

Unlike the Stephen King quote below, I have been interested in this topic since I was twenty-two and had a life-changing couple of minutes outside of my body.  I hope more people might become interested in this topic at younger ages.  I believe that most NDErs only want to share the peace and love they have experienced.

If you want to read my next post about this book, here it is.

 

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Three Simple Steps for Removing Obstacles and Achieving Success: Be Kind, Clean Up, and Work Hard

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You are prepared.  You’ve done your homework, and you are ready to take your life to the next level.

How do you make the jump into greater success whether this success is a new job, starting a company, a new project, or even a new relationship?

#1   Be nice to everyone you encounter.  You don’t have to be everyone’s new friend. However, say you are looking for a job.  You should be nice to the attendants in the parking garage.  Start up a conversation with the janitorial staff, and be extremely kind to the administrative staff.

You never know who might observe you and remember your presence and how you interact with the world.  You never know who might put in a good word for you, so pay attention to everyone.  Wish your fellow job applicants success.  Your kindness will come back to you eventually.  Kindness will clear many obstacles from your path.

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#2  Clean up your past. You biggest obstacle to success is usually yourself.  Whether this is a questionable social media image, negative self-talk, or negative relationships with others, take stock of how others view you.  Make sure that your social media profile doesn’t have pictures of days and nights spent partying.  Don’t have check-ins at pub crawls, strip clubs, and bars.  Show that you are a well-rounded individual with many interests.  Volunteering to help others is one of the best activities to document.  The more you give, the more respect you earn.

Also, pay close attention to who you follow and who you connect with on social media.  If you are a single guy, and you follow a lot of exotic dancers and pornographers, you are going to look ridiculous to most women who view your profile.  Beyond looking ridiculous, pornography fuels human trafficking and 66-90 % of women involved in the production of pornography were sexually abused as children.  If a woman is in administration, she won’t give you a second thought if you openly follow pornography.  If a successful woman is interested in dating you, she will most likely feel disgust for you if you follow pornography. Work on showing a connection and passion to your field through social media.  Additionally, make sure your email address is a version of your name.  Save “MissSexy69” for your password and not what is visible to the world.   What you are aiming to become is a leader with integrity, so start acting that way ahead of time.

Maybe you don’t have an issue with a questionable social media profile, but you have anger or resentments from things that have happened in your past.  You cannot think a negative thought and positive thought at the same time, so choose positive thoughts for your life and future.  Clean up your own negativity in order to move forward into your future.

Also, as a college professor, I see people returning to school with significant others who are resentful and try to sabotage their partner’s attempts to better their lives.  As you make a jump forward in your life, whether this is a career, new degree, or new opportunity, pay close attention to the people who do not support you.  Realize that it is hard enough to achieve success with supportive people around you.  Consider cleaning unsupportive people out of your life.

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#3  Do the hard work. I see a lot of creative people with amazing ideas fail because they procrastinate, give up in the face of a challenge, or give in to laziness or self-pity.  The difference between coming up with ideas versus seeing things through to the end is the willingness to struggle, to do things that are not enjoyable, and to grow.

If you are willing to grow and learn, then your ego is a healthy one.   A fragile ego prevents some people from succeeding because they don’t want to accept that their first attempt may need considerable improvement.  They make numerous excuses for why they cannot achieve certain goals because it is easier to live in a dream world than to dig in, realize their weaknesses, and work to improve various areas that need improvement.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to continue to learn.  You can make the learning process fun, and you can create magic along the way.  However, the work can’t be avoided or dreamt away, so focus on the many small steps toward a goal and not only the end goal.  Set deadlines, and get busy!  Self-discipline will help manifest miracles.

I leave you with a poem by Marge Piercy about the beauty of hard work.

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

 

Poetry Break- “Poem (the spirit likes to dress up)” by Mary Oliver and one of mine

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Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I’ve always enjoyed Mary Oliver’s nature based themes and spiritual themes.  The last stanza of this poem with the lines, “…lights up the deep and wondrous/drownings of the body/like a star” is gorgeous.  I think of the spirit like that–this beautiful light that lives in form, much to its dismay at times.  The poem of mine is about finding love and peace in simple moments in nature.  Magic happens in the now.

Poem (the spirit likes to dress up)
 
The spirit
  likes to dress up like this:
   ten fingers,
   ten toes,

shoulders, and all the rest
  at night
   in the black branches,
     in the morning
 
in the blue branches
  of the world.
   It could float, of course,
     but would rather
 
plumb rough matter.
  Airy and shapeless thing,
   it needs
     the metaphor of the body,
 
lime and appetite,
  the oceanic fluids;
   it needs the body’s world,
     instinct

and imagination
  and the dark hug of time,
   sweetness
     and tangibility,
 
to be understood,
  to be more than pure light
   that burns
     where no one is —
 
so it enters us —
  in the morning
   shines from brute comfort
     like a stitch of lightning;
 
and at night
  lights up the deep and wondrous
   drownings of the body
     like a star.  
— by Mary Oliver

 

Dreamland

Give me guilt free days in an endless

dreamland of bright green fields—

wild alyssum and newly hatched monarchs

a few feet away from our heavy heads.

We’ll rest on a quilt my grandmother made

and tell each other a few stories from our lives.

Our kisses might lead somewhere later than night,

or not, but our ties to earth and heaven

will be loosened, long enough to breathe

out complicated molecules of our pasts

and create a glorious, enviable,

present tense life.

© 2012 by Tricia Barker