Near Death Experience Posts

My Descent Into Death: A Second Chance at Life by Howard Storm–Book Review and Personal Response

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 11 Comments

howard-storm-paintingMy Descent Into Death: A Second Chance at Life by Howard Storm is a fascinating book.  Storm’s experience is unusual, not simply because of his descent into hell and rescue from hell, but also for the many answers he receives to important questions while in his near death state.

During my NDE, I did not experience a hell like state, but I understand how reliving and retelling such an experience would probably be traumatizing.  I admire Storm’s bravery for telling his story openly and for reminding us all of the importance of living a life of service to the world.

One of the biggest life changes I experienced after my NDE is the desire to live in service for others, and Storm describes the importance of service in this beautiful quote,

“The best way to grow spiritually is in service to others.  We will find purpose and development in relationships to other people.  We imagine that we are isolated from others but the opposite is true.  How we interact with others is our soul journey.  What we think we are is not who we are.  How we live lovingly with our brothers and sisters is who we truly are. If you want to grow spiritually, examine how you are expressing love, joy, peace, kindness, generosity, patience, and faithfulness toward others.”

Christ:  Howard Storm discusses his profound encounter with the deep love of Jesus during his NDE.  In fact, Jesus is the one who rescues Storm from hell.  After a long stay in the hospital and several months of recovery back at home, Storm recounts a moment where he is called to visit a church for the first time in a long while.  His description of this experience in church is touching.

When Storm enters a church near his home, he sees images of angels and the heavens and immediately falls to the ground in awe and praise. This is not the type of church where people behave in this way.  Storm’s innocence and intense, overwhelming emotion reminds me of how many NDErs deeply desire unification and communion with God in the way we experienced this connection on the other side. His  pure, open, and humble desire for this type of connection with the divine is moving.  This particular section of the book is also slightly amusing because of his wife’s reaction to his public display.  She expresses embarrassment and threatens not to take him to church again.  Luckily, the minister reaches out to Storm and becomes his friend.  Several years later, Storm becomes a minster.  Personally, I would have enjoyed hearing sermons from an NDEr.

Though I did not see a religious figure during my near-death experience, several years ago in a healing cathedral named El Santuario de Chimayo outside of Santa Fe, I felt the loving presence and energy of Jesus Christ.  In that sweet moment, I felt the weight of all of my rebellion against authority figures and churches who did not embody Christ’s love melt away.  I no longer saw Jesus as a part of these people who were abusive, judgmental, sexist, cruel, or otherwise toxic as representative of the true energy and love of Christ. I saw Jesus as a calm, humble, healing, loving force who wants to remind us to be like little children and love each other and our world in simple, straight-forward ways.

Toward the end of his book, Storm reflects on the challenges of working as a minister in a Christian church and writes,

“The biggest challenge that I have found in pastoring a church has been raising the consciousness of the congregation toward compassion for people beyond the boundaries of the church.  The work of the church is not simply to comfort the members of the church; rather, the work of the church is to be like Christ to the world….For reasons that I do not fully understand, I have found this difficult for many Christians to appreciate.”

Answers to Major Questions:  I recommend this book for several reasons.  Storm’s descriptions of how he prays for healing in his life are lovely anecdotes.  However, the most powerful and interesting moments in the book come in his descriptions of the answers he receives to several important questions.  During his NDE, when Storm asks God about war, he learns that heaven’s wish for us is that we never to go to war and to avoid it through loving others aggressively and caring for all people.   This quote from the book sums up part of the reply he experiences from God.

“People have tried to hide their base desire for domination and exploitation through collective pride under the banner of nationalism.  This primitive tribal instinct has blinded you from seeing the divine within other people.  God loves all people as God’s children and wants every one of you to see every person as a child of God.  You are to resist and oppose evil in others and in yourselves by every means possible.  You are to find ways to resist evil by good means rather than killing.” 

Storm continues to ask questions about why wars are allowed to happen, and God replies that we are given free will and says,

“Wars happen because of the spiritual sickness of people.  We are to care about all people and be willing to help heal the spiritual sickness before it leads to the desire to kill.  The way to prevent war is to love aggressively and care for all people.  Sufficient wealth, food, and resources exist for every person in the world.  Wars result not because there is a scarcity of resources, but because of our desire to possess the resources to the exclusion of others.  God loves every man, woman, and child on this planet more than we love our own children.  God wants all people to have food, shelter, meaningful work, and an opportunity to be creative: to learn the truth, have freedom from fear, have self-esteem, be procreative, live in community, find complete joy, trust in God, and become the wonderful people that God created us to be.”

Storm has particular points about the greed in the U.S. and the possible directions our country could take in the future.  This section is a bit chilling, and I certainly hope there are a cumulative mass of people who care deeply for the world in a way that surpasses their own need for gratification.  Power over others seems to be the root cause of much of the sickness in society.

Storm also asks God which religion is the “right” religion and he  is surprised by the answer that there is no right or wrong religion.  Only the religions that promote love for God and others are of value.  Within very loving religions, there might be narcissists, sociopaths, and child abusers leading congregations, temples, or other gatherings dedicated to spiritual matters.  For example, the essential teachings of Christianity can be completely distorted by non-loving individuals.   God communicates to Storm that…

“…our cultural bias is collective egocentric pride.  Since we are finite creatures raised in specific cultures, we are shaped by our culture.  To know God, we have to surrender our individual and collective pride/ego if we are ever to know God’s love.  Too often we claim God’s love for our closed group.  We exclude everyone outside the group as being outside God’s love.  This is opposed to God’s will.  God loves everyone beyond anything we can imagine.”

I could continue to keep typing out all the beautiful, thought-provoking quotes from this book, but if you are interested in Storm’s extensive time spent in heaven and the knowledge he brought back, you will simply have to read his wonderful book.  You will hear about the many lessons from his NDE, including the knowledge that God is always with us and loves us more than we can comprehend and that God wants us to share our journey and emotions with heaven.  I agree with Storms points that self-examination and awareness is an important part of the journey as well as sharing love and truth with others.  May you be blessed and find blessings in this book if you feel called to read it.

See Howard Storm’s website for more of his paintings.

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Forgive * Love * Heal

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 3 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Forgive — Love — Heal

I’m reading Dr. Rajiv Parti’s book Dying to Wake Up, and when he begins to actively heal any remaining depression, fear, addiction, or pain in his life he is given the words forgive, love, and heal.  Like Dr. Parti, I decided to write a short response to each of these words myself.  You might try this yourself as a healing writing exercise to release any negative energy and return to balance.  Dr. Parti describes negative pent up energy as “black balloons” inside the body that need to be deflated and released to attain greater health.

Forgive

Forgiveness is a letting go—all the fire, the flesh, the material angst, the passion, the wronged beating heart, and the gritted jaw are released.   Breath returns like a fall leaf gracefully descending to earth.  In spirit form, there is nothing to forgive—the chains of the flesh are shaken off, so why not forgive what is soon to be forgotten?  Why not stream away from those wounds now?  Do this for yourself—not for another.  The other might be far down a tunnel of life in his or her own dimension of space and time.  Bless that person if you can, but definitely love yourself for breaking free of…

…the anger that makes your hands shake, rage that makes you dream of saying the worst possible words or worse…

Bless yourself for becoming stronger with each disappointment, each wounding of your innocence.  Bless yourself in every moment of your suffering, but most of all board an express jet on an international flight far away from pain.  When you leave, know that you will indeed find a geographical cure except it will be a spiritual one.  And in that new, spacious place you will stare into the expanse hopefully.  When you arrive there full of possibility…

…Stay balanced.  Stay clean.  Stay pure of heart and filled with love all the live long days of your lovely life.

Love

It is acceptable to send love to the one in darkness—the one lost in the mired, toxic soup of ego, judgement, and pain.  It is suggested that you lay down your swords of delusion and embrace a garden of flowers, grounding yourself by standing in the bright green earth wet with dew.  It is permissible to love the unlovable, even if only for a moment.

It is a great idea to love the lost boys and girls you may never meet.  They are wandering the world like broken flags, like weeping doves, like cigarette butts left behind as a clue.

It is allowable to love yourself as you are—unloved or loved by many and known by only a few.  It is fine to breathe just as you are—a child still though grown into a woman or man’s body.  Love the many steps that got you here, and the ones that will carry you onward brightening the path for others.

Heal

You will see something shimmering like morning breaking through dark curtains.  You will throw open the curtains and feel intimately drawn to the sunlight rising over the forest-dense mountains in the distance.  Coffee will not be necessary because your heart will jump quantum leaps into delight and health, ready to meet the day.

That child who you once were—returned.

That dream that you once chased & lost—found.

That hope that withered in the heat—blossoms again.

A few more reflections:  Forgiveness is an immediate trip and vacation away from all that causes pain.  When in spirit form during my NDE, forgiveness happened instantly as there was no more attachment to the form and familiar thought patterns.  Back in form, forgiveness is something I had to continue to practice, especially as I encountered shocking, new wounds. Forgiveness is something we all must continue to practice.  I think of those who are quick at forgiveness like ballroom dancers.  They quick step and glide with a practiced grace into a new, upbeat life.

In the afterlife, love is an experience, a birthright, an all-consuming peace.  In form, love is something we must remember and practice as well.  Like a great musician, when we learn to play love in every situation our world expands and grows more light-filled.

Healing is a topic that is precious to me and the subject of my memoir in progress.  There is healing to be found through access to the divine and the other side.  There is healing to be found in nature.  There is great healing to be found in helping others grow and succeed. There is also great healing to be found in making your own healing a priority.

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Aftereffects of Near-Death Experiences: Psychological and Physiological Changes

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 3 Comments

Aftereffects According to IANDS:  I wish that I had a copy of this particular list of aftereffects of NDEs.  The information would have helped me integrate my experience into my life a bit easier.  IANDS researchers claim that 80% of experiencers are forever changed because of their experiences and break the phenomenon down into psychological and physiological changes.  I knew I was changed the minute I woke up from surgery because I cared much more about the spiritual world than the material world.  My future plans were immediately altered.  Mostly, I knew that I wanted my final life review to contain several moments where I helped others.  I wanted to live a life where I was connected to many people, even if I could only help them in small ways.  Before my NDE, I was not a bully or mean person, but I was materialistic, fearful, and judgmental.  I saw how my own fears and insecurities vanished with a connection to purpose and to the divine love of God, and I wanted other people to experience this love and sense of purpose as well.

My Aftereffects:  I made a YouTube video about some of the aftereffects of my NDE including a more spiritual outlook and a knowing that I was immortal soul in physical form, continued out of body episodes, psychic displays, universal love for everyone, kundalini surges and electrical sensitivity which affected the functioning ability of technology and wrist watches.

Psychological Changes:  In the video about aftereffects I spend a lot of time on the sudden development of psychic abilities and spontaneous OBEs.  My spirit form seemed loosely connected to my physical form for a few years after the NDE and any memory of physical trauma or sensory overload could cause me to pop out of form.  Additionally, there were personality reversals such as going from mostly introverted to definitely extroverted, as well as relying more on feelings than rational thoughts.

After the loss of my father, I realized that I could communicate with those in the afterlife. An apparently less-addressed aftereffect is what Holden (2013) termed spontaneous mediumship experiences (SMEs) based on her anecdotal observations.  You can watch her talk about this phenomenon here.  SMEs are a subset of after-death communication.  Some NDRrs are able to communicate with other people’s loved ones in the afterlife and give them messages.  I recently wrote about one instance of this type of communication in this post.

Timelessness is not something I discussed in the video, but I am sure I seemed a bit spacy to many people.  I could happily watch a bird in a tree for thirty minutes and be fully entertained by the beauty of small moments in life.  I was simply happy to be alive and enthralled by my senses.  I did not feel a need to rush; rather, I felt a deep need to fully connect with others and enjoy my life.  I do not see this trait as a negative.  There were so many people I observed once I was back in Austin who seemed rushed, stressed, and upset about the details in their lives.  I wanted to give them some of my peace, but sometimes my smile was returned with an annoyed frown.

Physiological Changes:  In the video, I discuss my energy and my effect on the functioning of technology.  Although I did not read about how many NDErs could not wear watches, after blowing out four watches in a very short amount of time I knew this change had to be tied to my NDE.  My logical mind wondered if being revived during surgery somehow added extra electricity into my body, but on another level I knew this change must be a spiritual change.  Perhaps the timelessness I felt could simply not reside next to a watch continually keeping time.

In the video, I forgot to describe a physiological aftereffect about a year after my NDE. When I returned to Austin to finish my senior year of college, I was ecstatic to be back in town. My energy level was extremely high, and a friend and I were walking along a small neighborhood street. The street lights began to flicker on, and as we walked under the first one, the light exploded. We laughed and kept walking, but the second light also exploded. I told my friend that I thought my NDE caused me to have these types of experiences. My friend said that the lights were probably installed at the same time and were simply going out. I wanted to believe what we were experiencing was a coincidence, but we walked under the third light this light exploded loudly and glass flew in our direction. A little startled, we moved to the other side of the street. The next few lights flickered as we walked by, but did not explode or go out.

Many Changes:  There are too many changes to list, but my life was definitely altered after my NDE.  Though I did not always see auras, there were moments when I would see a purple light around a particular musician playing in a band or a soft pink light around an especially sweet, loving person.  I did not want to seem odd or too different from my friends by talking about these experiences, and I wanted many of the abilities to be toned down so that I could simply live my life and accomplish goals.

In many ways, these changes after my NDE are a blessing.  I have an easier time of integrating a very different type of knowing than the rational, straight-forward way of approaching the world, and I encourage other NDErs and those who are awakening to read about ways to integrate these abilities into your day to day lives.

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A Way Out of Depression:  Give More Than You Receive

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 3 Comments

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This may sound like the worst possible solution, and I understand your frustration at hearing these words.  When you barely have the energy to get out of bed, when you don’t want to face the next moment or the next moment, the idea of helping others seems too difficult of a feat.  How can you help someone when you need so much help?

The answer is simple. All around you people have tougher struggles than you do.  In the act of serving them, you find forgiveness for your particular wounds and begin to see the blessings of your own life more clearly.  Your connection to others, however briefly, reinvigorates you and puts you in touch with the divine flow of grace and love from the other side.

During my near-death experience, I saw quite clearly that angels can work through those who are in action.  You might feel this heavenly energy or someone else might feel this energy and benefit from it.  Whether the energy is recognized or not, know that helping the world become a better, kinder place will give you greater self-esteem.  Most near-death experiencers clearly realize that the greatest aspect of love is not what we receive but what we give to the world.  The love that you give is a currency more valuable than money because it is a memory you will be proud to relive both in your life and in your afterlife.

Helping others does not mean inserting yourself into situations where you are not welcomed or giving unwanted advice or opinions.  Helping others does not mean looking for an attractive person to help simply because you want to be near him or her in the hope that this person might like you.  Aim for unconditional, altruistic actions, and do not except anything in return.  Your nobleness of character will be your greatest return, and you will experience more love, perhaps not exactly in the way you expected to be loved but love will pour into your life the more you give.

Open your eyes to the needs of others.  Perhaps there is a disabled veteran in your area who needs a ride to the grocery store or to appointments.  Maybe you could grocery shop for a disabled veteran or elderly person.  My sweet, loving grandmother died of Alzheimer’s disease while I was teaching English in South Korea.  I hope someone, even a kind stranger, visited her in the nursing home and gave her love.  She gave me much love to me through her prayers, unconditional love, and well-wishes.  She deserved kindness and connection in her final moments.  Consider visiting people in nursing homes and listening to them or simply be with them.  Consider becoming a hospice volunteer.  Consider volunteering at animal shelters or building homes for Habitat for Humanity.

In my area, Catholic Charities has served over 100,000 different families in need.  These families may be struggling in poverty or have other needs.  Many immigrants to this country could greatly benefit from someone who might help them fill out forms, learn English, find affordable grocery stores, and learn more about our culture.  The antidote to fear of others is getting to know them and help them.  You will find amazing stories of great struggle and human triumph in a population of immigrants.  I have met several elderly women who are raising numerous grandchildren whose parents have died from diseases or in bombings.  One woman I met and tutored was an Obstetrician in her own country.  I taught her conversational English so that she could find work in a laboratory cleaning lab equipment.  She hoped to be able to return to college and use her degree in the U.S., but the language barrier was a challenge at her at her age.  When you understand that many wonderful people did everything right in their lives and only had the unfortunate luck to be born in an area that suffered a great famine or war, your heart expands to include more people and more places in this world.

Be open to your own spiritual and emotional growth, and miracles will occur.  You might come across a great business idea or the love of your life while in action.  Neither of these things are guaranteed to occur, but the probability is much higher than if you are isolating and not living connected to others. You will definitely feel better about your life in the act of helping others, and feeling better is the first step to creating a better life.

By helping others, you will create more moments of heaven on earth.  One of my favorite photos is a photo of my Creative Writing students volunteering to tutor kids in a low-income school district.  The smiles on my beautiful college student’s faces mean a great deal to me.  I know that they are experiencing the bliss of being of service to others.   I hope you might experience this joy as well.

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Of course, consider being of service to yourself by finding the most nutrient dense fresh, raw, organic fruits and vegetables to eat.  I am a believer in the healing power of food and supplements, and Anthony William’s book Medical Medium recently added much greater healing to my life, but a healing journey is an individual one and different paths work for different people.  Search for therapists, healers, doctors, and teachers who can help you in your personal struggle.  Search for a place of worship that increases the love in your heart for yourself and for others.  Consider a meditation practice.  Definitely reach out for help immediately if you are in a place where you are considering suicide.  The suggestion to be of service is only a part of a much larger picture that is needed to address any of the causes of an underlying condition.

There is much to say on the topic of depression.   I am only suggesting what has worked for me and what I was shown about the power of love in action on the other side.  I have addressed the issue of depression in multiple ways for years, but when I look back at my life I know that my greatest joys in life have been the moments when I helped others.  Keep searching for what will work for you, and consider ways that you might want to make this world a more beautiful place.  I’ll leave you with a blog post offering ten helpful tips for dealing with depression.

Love Letter from God

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 20 Comments

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Dear Everyone,

I’m sorry for all the times you were not loved

by those around you. I’m sorry you were left alone

when all you wanted to do was to make people smile.

It is a shame that others didn’t want your silliness,

your goodness, and your sweetness.

They didn’t see that you were made in my image

and that you are a part of me, a part of God.

 

I’m sorry that you were born with a sensitivity

that should have been protected, a gorgeous sensitivity

that should have been cultivated and honored

but instead was sent harsh words, gaslighted, ignored,

degraded, and abused.  Your trusting nature and openness

was used against you time and time again,

but you met the world like an open flower,

full of love and sunshine. When you learned to close yourself off,

they called you damaged, as if you were

the one who did this to yourself.

 

I’m sorry that people were driven by jealousy, greed,

unchecked rage, fear, and other dark places in their minds.

I’m sorry that they lashed out at you without provocation.

You did nothing wrong.  I’m sorry for their torture

and all the moments afterwards that you carried

shock within you.  As much as I wanted to turn my face away

when people yelled at you, hit you, or otherwise abused you,

I stayed with you and observed everything.

I could never leave you.   I am the life that wants to live,

wants to continue no matter the amount of trauma.

When your world was turned to rubble by fire

and you had only a handful of food,

I was the hand and I was the food.

I was the bird in the sky that made you dream of flight.

 

When people hated you for your religion,

the way you worshiped, your politics,

the color of your skin, your gender, your sexual orientation,

your country, your home, your clothes, your accent, your IQ level,

your school, your car, your age, your optimism, your sadness,

I was never sorry to know you intimately.

I love you without reserve.

 

I’m glad you invited me in when no one else was there.

I’m amazed by your capacity for love and grateful

for all the times you sent swirling,

beautiful energy in my direction.

 

You are the love you give, not the love you receive from others.

I see the love you give and remember it.

This is all that I remember.

I want you to love yourself the way I love you–

exponentially always expanding, infinite in potential.

I love you and want to give you complete peace,

joy, wonder, grace, and a miraculous, triumphant life of love.

© 2016 by Tricia Barker

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I also made a video to accompany this letter from God.  For years, I have required students to pick images to accompany some of their writing or another person’s writing on a video presentation.  I enjoyed finally trying one myself.  Here it is!

God and the Afterlife Part II:  Heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, and Religion

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

 

 

I had to make one more post about God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry because the many subjects covered in the book are certainly interesting ones.

Heaven:  The vast majority of NDErs experience heavenly realms, and one of the quotes that struck me came from a woman who talks about art as something reaching for the beauty of Heaven.  She states, “I realized that everything we create that is beautiful—all paintings, woven rugs, tapestries, carvings—all have their seed from Heaven.  We saw all this before we came to earth, and we try to recapture some of Heaven while on earth.”  The discussion of music that NDErs hear is also well-developed and lovely.  I didn’t hear music during my experience, but I can only imagine that it would be more pure and alive, as the grass seemed to be more pure and alive on that other side.

Other NDErs write about how everything is about love.  I heard the exact statement, “Love is all that matters.”  Another NDEr named Diane sums up this idea by saying, “It is all about love.  We must love ourselves, and in this way we love God.  He is within each of us.  We then can love others, even our enemies.  We are here to love life, and to express back to our Creator our joy at having life and seeing how beautiful our world is regardless of how we make it.”  The heavenly realms described in this section are similar to the one I saw, and the peace NDErs discuss offer readers lovely images and thoughts.

Hell:  The authors of this book reassure us that only a very small percentage, “…of all NDEs shared with NDERF are hellish.”  They point out that these types of experiences are difficult to study, but ultimately end up providing motivation to the NDEr to reconsider their lives prior to the experience.  The authors use the term “a walk through the Valley of Death” instead of hell as many of these experiences are simply just a glimpse at a hellish realm, and some souls choose God or call out to God and move onward in a more heavenly direction.

The authors also make it clear that “bad” people do not only have hellish NDEs, and “good” people do not have heavenly experiences.  Some of the hellish experiences may not be NDEs and could be intensive care unit (ICU) psychosis, illicit drug experiences, and so on.  However, some of these hellish experiences are experienced as real and intense, but many experiencers walk through these scenes and end up heaven.

The vast majority of NDErs experience a God who is made up of a powerful form of love and is deeply compassionate and resides within everyone.  Forgiveness may be the specialty of God and a form of love we can’t fully understand while caught up in the details of these lives.

Reincarnation:  One NDEr profiled in the book talks about the possibility of reincarnation and says that God showed a hall that had “…millions and millions of doorways leading off the hall.”   Basically, these doorways were particular paths back to a life on earth, but God let this NDEr know that souls have the choice to stay in heaven.

Not every NDEr comes back with this kind of knowledge about reincarnation.  I didn’t receive specific knowledge about reincarnation during my NDE, though it has always seemed like a possibility to me, perhaps because certain places in this country and around the world have felt familiar to me and not because of what I’ve read in books or seen in movies.

Books like The Afterlife of Billy Fingers offer greater depth on the possibilities in the extended version of the afterlife.  I know that my communications with my father in the afterlife have let me know that he is willing to return to a form because he loves so much about being human and wants to live better the next time.  Personally, I fantasize about not coming back to form and exploring how I may be able to help humanity on the other side.   This topic isn’t a large part of this book, but since one of the NDErs mentioned it, I feel compelled to address the topic briefly.

Religion:  One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me is the section on religion. Some NDErs directly asked God, “What is the right religion?”  One man received the answer, “They all are.  Each religion is a pathway trying to reach the same place.”  He was also told to “…always look at who benefits with regard to rules that religions make.  If it is a particular people or the power structure of the religion itself chances are that the religion isn’t of God.”  I have always loved the parts of the Bible where Jesus speaks directly, but I since I was a child I have resisted the ideas of certain sexist passages in the Bible.

Another NDEr asked whether only one religion will make it to heaven and was given the reply, “…everyone who believes and has faith, even those who don’t think they do, will make it.  It depends on what’s in their hearts.”  Again, this rings true for me.  Kindness and goodness seem to be the true indicator of a person who is on the right path.  Most NDErs, myself included, know how fragile life is and how we shouldn’t waste any of it on anger.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, and we should have gratitude and excitement about our lives.  Faith makes the journey all the more beautiful.

Most of the NDErs profiled describe a God who is powerful and deeply loving.  They struggle to find the vocabulary to describe a God who is everything that exists and everything that doesn’t exist.  One NDEr describes our purpose as learning how to “…experience life and learning how to love, create, and develop to the highest we can be.”  Sometimes, the best we can do is work towards harmony because “..the universe is full of order, so it always finds a way to balance everything because it can’t exist without perfect balance.”

When NDErs are given information about religion, “…they generally understand that no earthy religion is the ‘chosen religion’ or ‘the one true religion.’”  When or if they return to the same religion, they sometimes feel differently about the experience.  One NDEr writes, “Many times I’d like to take over the pulpit and tell people what is really on the other side and that the guilt preached by Christian churches is completely inappropriate.”

During my NDE, I was aware that I judged myself much harsher than the light of God judged me.  I know that guilt isn’t the way to overcome an addiction or an issue in one’s life.  Self-love is the first step that helps.  If we begin to love ourselves enough not to harm ourselves and look for ways to heal the wounds and deep seated pain that is often the cause of addiction, we begin to heal.  The few times I have attended a Baptist funeral or evangelical sermon, I usually want to pick up a Bible and hit the pastor in the side of the head.  Of course, I don’t do that because that wouldn’t be loving or kind, but that is how I feel after experiencing first-hand a love that surpasses all understanding and then hearing harsh judgements in a place of worship.

I agree with an NDEr who writes, “My God is loving and compassionate and lives within me as spirit lives within every one of us.”  God lives inside Christians as much as the Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, agnostics, and the spiritual/not religious.  Though this may be a difficult concept for some, it is a concept that makes complete sense if you fill your heart with love for all living beings. That love for all brings you closer to the love of God.

Reflections on God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 5 Comments

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Book Review

God and the Afterlife: The Groundbreaking New Evidence for God and Near-Death Experience by Jeffrey Long and Paul Perry is a fantastic book if you are even somewhat curious about conclusions that can be drawn from examining over 3,000 different accounts of near-death experiences.

For some reason, I only recently discovered the NDERF website .  This website allows NDErs to submit their own accounts of their experience and requires them to answer specific questions.  These questions allowed the researchers to compare various experiences and helped in the formation of this book.  I can certainly see how it would be both a long project and an inspiring one to examine so many of these accounts, and I’m grateful to the authors for examining this topic in such great depth.  I will create another post for some of my favorite moments in the book, but I want discuss the experience of God and the purpose driven lives so many NDErs talk about in this first post.

Early in the book, the authors sum up the significance of the similarities of the many NDEr’s accounts by saying, “It is highly unlikely they could all by lying or tricked by a subjective experience, since their reports are so similar.  Can these people be wrong?  For the evidence of the reality of God in the God Study to be dismissed, each one of the NDErs would have to be mistaken that they were aware of God…”

I have always looked at my near-death experience and encounter with God as the most real and important moment of my life.  When I was in the hospital and given heavy doses of morphine, my biggest fear was that I might somehow forget those moments outside of my body.  Quite the opposite occurred, and the memory of the experiences outside of form have stayed bright and clear over the years.

Accounts of God:  This book covers many accounts of God and the light, especially focusing on the unconditional love and mercy so many experiencers describe.   I still get emotional talking about the beauty of the light as I neared it, and I struggle to find the words to accurately describe a love that is both familiar and a part of me, but also incredibly immense, powerful, free, natural, and merciful. The light is love, knowledge, peace, and understanding.  When I struggle to describe God and the light, I am apparently not alone.  Many NDErs in this book mention the struggle to find the words to accurately describe an experience that lies beyond the scope of what we understand while in these bodies.

Many NDErs also want others to understand certain key concepts about this love.  At the basis of my experience, love seemed to be a deep, calming, complete acceptance, and I am also not alone according to the reports. Love is described as not judgement but as a profound, enveloping kind of love.  The authors sum up these experiences by saying, “…God’s love for each of us is complete, deep, and without reservation and extends to everyone and everything.  It is probably worth imagining what would happen if this revelation where embraced worldwide.”

Perhaps if this revelation were embraced, people’s energy would be spent on ways to make this life experience beautiful, peaceful, and happy for all of us.  That might seem like a far-fetched proposition, but it actually isn’t.  Life is meant to be enjoyed in simple, beautiful ways.

God’s Appearance:  NDErs experienced God’s appearance differently at times.  I experienced the afterlife as a place where form is easily mutable.  Since it is such a shock to be out of the body, the light/God seems to want us to feel at ease; thus, people and experiences may take on forms to put us individually more at ease in that environment.

The idea that God may take on different forms was repeated by many other NDE accounts. After telling a few people about my NDE, I was told by agnostics that what I experienced was a dream or the brain shutting down, and I was told by a few Christians (including some in my family) that my experience was “of the devil.”  Nothing could be farther from the truth, and God and the Afterlife might be the very book to open a few of the minds and hearts of people who continue to rely on these worn-out refutations.  The environment outside of my body was more real than this reality, and the love I encountered from God surpasses all human experiences, beliefs, creeds, religions, and philosophies.   That love seemed to be my true home, and I can only assume it is the true home for everyone.

NDErs Missions on Earth:  When NDErs have a moment where they must make a choice or they are told to return to earth, their reactions vary.  Some experiencers were lucky enough to ask what they should bring back to their lives with them.  I briefly saw that I should remind others of the light (which is knowledge, love, joy, appreciation of the moment) and to dispel fear in others while I worked as a teacher.  Other NDErs had longer conversations about the purpose of life, and this section of the book is fascinating.

One NDEr writes about our purpose for returning by saying, “I was told that I was here to learn how to love and to gain knowledge.  This wasn’t said with words, but by thoughts, with all connotations of the words “love” and “knowledge” shown to me.  I knew this wasn’t just about book knowledge or physical love.  It was about learning how to accept every race and have no prejudice; I was to keep expanding and learning about earth, nature, animals, and people.  And this was the mission of all humankind, not just me.”

This statement ties in perfectly to the idea of God’s profound love extending to each and everyone one of us.  There are other aspects of this book I hope to cover in another post, but for now I will leave you with these ideas.  It should be encouraging for everyone to realize that we are loved more than we can imagine, and that as we continue to grow in understanding we are more in touch with a loving God.  I highly recommend this book for those who are interested in the conclusions of extensive research based on the accounts of near-death experiences.

Unlike the Stephen King quote below, I have been interested in this topic since I was twenty-two and had a life-changing couple of minutes outside of my body.  I hope more people might become interested in this topic at younger ages.  I believe that most NDErs only want to share the peace and love they have experienced.

If you want to read my next post about this book, here it is.

 

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Mindfulness for Millennials:  Five Basic Tips

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

Update 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Mindfulness for Millennials:  If you are a millennial, you may have heard of mindfulness in connection to Buddhism, meditation, or yoga.  Perhaps, you already have a practice.  If you do, hopefully the peace and awareness from your practice extends into every area of your life.  Mindfulness is something you should try to incorporate in every area of your life.  At a very basic level, mindfulness is being in a state of awareness, and even if you are not interested in meditation, consider the importance of mindfulness in your day to day activities.

It took a devastating car accident and a near-death experience to wake me up at twenty-one, but I would like for you to wake up in a gentler, kinder way.  Being conscious of the world around you can save your life, but it can also bring more peace and understanding to your everyday activities.  You will be able to handle stress more effectively and make better decisions in all areas of your life.  You will be better in relationships, better in school, and in the workforce.  You intuition will increase, and you will understand the world and other people in deeper ways.  These tips definitely apply for those who are a part of Generation Z, as well as to those in Generation X and Baby Boomers who haven’t examined their relationship to technology and set aside time away from their devices.

I made a YouTube video about this topic, but I have also created this post about five ways to be more mindful.

#1 Be More Mindful with Technology:  One of the first ways to become more mindful is to consider how you navigate the world with devices.  As I walk the halls of the college where I teach, students are glued to their phones.  Often, they nearly run into me in the stairwell.  I’m an instructor, and these students might want to ask me for a letter of recommendation at some point.  They should smile, make eye contact, and look around the world.  They should talk more frequently to those around them as they wait for class to start.

A popular spoken word video by Gary Turk came out a few years ago called Look Up. The video shows people in different situations and how their world would deepen and become more meaningful if they put down their phones. I want to tell millennials (and Generation Z) to look up and stay looking up.  Interact with people around you.  Observe others.  The more you observe the world around you, the deeper your intuition grows.  Intuition is a completely different subject that I will return to at another time, but for now know that intuition is often a whisper. You have certainly felt your inner guidance warn you about someone.  Maybe you overlooked this warning and listened to what someone said about themselves instead of what your feelings were telling you.  Later, you might have found out you were right.  That was your intuition talking.  If you constantly distract yourself with your phone, you will not develop intuition and pick up on the subtle cues that people give off with micro-expressions.  With a bit of training, you can easily pick up on lies and other subtle clues that people give you with communicating face to face.

Additionally, professors and bosses will react more positively to a face to face meeting than another email or text.  We receive hundreds of emails daily, but a face to face interaction is much more memorable and meaningful.  You are more likely to get the help you need with a meeting in person.

#2 Be More Mindful about How You Interact with People:  As I look around the world at millennial couples, I see a lot of people together but lost in screens.  I am not sure if one person is addicted to social media and the other person feels lonely waiting for that person to get off their phone, so they interact to fill the time.  Whatever the case, mindfulness teaches you how to see the beauty and mystery in other human beings.  Develop curiosity about the lives and feelings of those close to you.  Make a lot of eye contact, and create conscious, loving moments with people you love.  Your friendships and romantic relationships will greatly benefit with more conscious attention.

After my near-death experience, I was deeply curious about everyone.  I wanted to know what made people tick, what secrets they kept in their hearts, and what dreams they had for themselves.  Develop curiosity about people, and believe that they can and will show you their best selves. As you develop greater intuition, you will also discern who you should not to give your time to and who might be dangerous.

#3 Take Breaks:  Mindful people know how to take breaks and how to deeply enjoy these breaks.  Meditation has amazing physiological and psychological benefits.  During my recovery after surgery, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I discovered the joy and peace that can be found through meditation.  My body healed quickly, and I attribute part of my speedy recovery to meditation.

When my body cast was removed, and I returned to the beautiful U.T. Austin campus, I often took breaks that semester.  I felt ecstatic just to be alive.  I sat on benches and watched the world swirl by me. I felt gloriously happy just to walk, have breath, and be alive.  I have felt grateful for most every moment in my life since, even the tough moments.  I realized after my NDE that it is a blessing to be above ground and to get to experience the world in deeply meaningful ways.

Millennials are a stressed-out group, and you need breaks badly.  You expect things to happen for you instantly and quickly.  Breaks help you enjoy life and develop patience.  You need to take time just for yourself and not answer a single text, email, or engage with anything other than silence for a part of your day.  However, if silence is too overwhelming, and you are not ready for a daily meditation practice, consider shutting your eyes and listening to calming music as you breathe deeply every day for a specific amount of time.  Alternately, you might do as I did and sit somewhere in a beautiful area and think of all the things you are grateful for in your life. Whatever you do, experience daily breaks in a meaningful way.

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#4 Go Out in Nature:  Generation Xers had more freedom growing up, and many tend to associate nature with playing and having a great time.  I want your generation to experience the same child-like glee that many of us feel in nature.  Climbing a mountain is not only great exercise, but it allows you to get far away from everything that troubles you in your life below.  It is not a coincidence that many temples are built on mountaintops.  You are literally closer to God or a higher consciousness because you have escaped the hustle and bustle of the world below.

Nature is not just something to look at; rather, it is something to experience.  Being in nature invites you to open up to your senses and be in the here and now.  There is healing energy in nature, and your brain relaxes and thinks differently in beautiful areas.  If you have experienced trauma in your life, nature is a place where you can begin to heal these parts of yourself.

The Celestine Prophecy outlines the ways that humanity can begin to awaken, and one of the first ways is to become aware of the energy and power in the natural world.  Once you are aware of this energy, you realize that nature gives you energy.  The millennial generation should be the generation that creates greater sustainability and awareness of nature.  To do this, you need to get out and appreciate it yourself.

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#5 Nourish Yourself:  Don’t always reach for sugar and caffeine when you need energy.  Consider drinking water and eating a piece of fruit.  Look to nature as a way to determine what might be most nourishing for your body. After my near-death experience, I was deeply aware of what it felt like to have a body again, much like an infant or child is aware of the body.  Though I grew up a little quicker than an infant, I deeply appreciated the senses for quite a while.  Food sometimes felt like a psychedelic experience. After being in ICU for three days, and fed through an IV for several more days, the first sensation of food sent me spinning and felt like manna from the heavens.

Once I left the hospital, I researched diets and decided on a mostly raw fruit and vegetable diet.  I attribute the diet to how quickly my body healed.  Do research yourself, but also use common sense.  Everybody is different, but more raw fruits and vegetables added to any diet will probably benefit you.

My Connection to Mindfulness:  My near-death experience taught me mindfulness in a direct and instantaneous way. I was pleased to be back in the body and experience all of my senses.  I loved to taste amazing foods and interact with others. Even through the physical pain of healing, I used meditation and other tools to speed my recovery.  I didn’t run from the pain; rather I embraced it without pain killers and trained my mind to adapt to the pain and work through it.  Pain passes, and it passes quicker when you don’t run from it or deny it.

Additionally, my near-death experience showed me that I needed to return to my body and become a teacher.  For several years now, I’ve taught English and Creative Writing at the college level, and I’ve observed and worked with thousands of millennials.  Though millennials are a great, fun group, I would like to see more of you practicing mindfulness.  Mindfulness will help you become more successful students, friends, romantic partners, employees, and employers.  Mindfulness may be an important key for success, and it is my sincere wish to see this amazing generation grow more conscious and aware.

So many educators are aware of the importance of teaching mindfulness to students.  Here is a wonderful blog post about teaching mindfulness in the classroom.

If you would like to learn more about meditation, I high recommend reading the books of Thich Nhat Hanh.  You might also check out this YouTube video where Jon Kabat-Zinn discusses what mindfulness and meditation are really about: presence of heart.

If you would like a simple way to practice a loving, healing five minute meditation, check out this one by Louise Hay.

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Takeaways from The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: Part II

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

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Higher Beings/Angels:  Annie Kagan’s translations of Billy’s experience in the afterlife makes for a moving and uplifting book.  Billy’s descriptions of the Higher Beings/Angels ring true for me.  As an NDEr, I have struggled to translate the experience of coming in close contact with two of the most intelligent, large, amazing beings I have ever encountered.  By default, I have called them angels, but Higher Beings seems an accurate term as well.  I got the sense that other people might have different Higher Beings as their guides, but the qualities that my protective angels/Higher Beings exhibited most were intelligence, compassion, and healing powers.  They healed me through the backs of my surgeons with their light, and I had complete faith in their healing abilities.

Perhaps at different times in our life, different angels and guides show up for us.  In Kagan’s book, Billy describes the Higher Beings as, “Whatever qualities come under the heading of benevolence, that virtue is right there in the light.  It’s different with these Higher Beings.  They’re more specific, more personal, like the Divine Presence is focused through a prism.  And the colored rays that come through the prism—these are the higher beings.”  I resonate with that description because my Higher Beings were indeed specifically focused.  Perhaps at different times in our lives we might require differently focused Higher Beings.

Toward the end of the book, Billy says, “There’s an impersonal quality to these Supreme Beings, but that’s not a negative—it’s a big plus.  There’s a pureness to it.  This is what I’ve imagined being in the presence of God would be like….They are pure Spirit.  Just as our bodies are the carriers of our souls, our souls are the carriers of our Spirit.”  For me, this description helps add clarity to my interactions with my angels during surgery.  They were pure Spirit, pure benevolence, and put me at ease outside of my body immediately with telepathy and strength.  I knew I would be fine whether I stayed in the environment outside of my body or returned.  For me, all signs pointed to returning, but I got the sense that everything would have been beautiful, pleasant learning experience for me had I not returned.

Nature:  One of my other favorite lines in this book is a simple but true message reading, “Nature has more light than anything else on your planet.”  In the book, Kagan takes Billy’s advice and returns to nature for healing, inspiration, and connection.  All of us need the healing power of nature in our lives.  Technology is a powerful connector, but not healing in the way that being in nature is healing.  When I am broken, I go to the mountains and let the mountains give me their strength.  When I am stressed, I go to the ocean and let the waves wash away my pain and troubles.  When I want fun, I head to nature.

At another point in the novel Billy says, “The best cure for suffering?  An enlightened experience of it all.  What does that mean?  It means finding the invisible within the visible.”  Nature is a great place for people to experience enlightened moments.  Looking down from a high peak at a city helps us put everything in perspective again.  We are a small part of the whole, but our enjoyment of our life is key.  Nature keeps us present and helps us enjoy our lives more fully and even sometimes catch a glimpse of the invisible within the visible.

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Addiction:  (Spoiler Alert) Billy’s struggle with addiction and even his death as an active addict did not prevent him for any of the bliss, compassion, or benevolence on the other side.   Life’s purpose and a particular soul’s purpose can be grand on the other side while looking rather shabby on this side. One of the more important lessons I took away from my NDE was that the shadows I danced within during that time in my life (the drugs and alcohol) only prevented me from living more fully and connected to others at times.  I wasn’t judged by the light.  I was met with deep compassion and love.  Maybe if I would’ve stayed in the environment outside of my body longer, I might have seen how my life looked from a musical perspective—the ups and downs, the crescendos, and the drumrolls.

In recovery, people are sometimes shamed for relapsing, and there is so much disappointment around the deaths of addicts.  As an NDEer, I sometimes have a different perspective and see the struggle for sobriety as more of a dance the way Billy described it. I see those who relapse as in need of more compassion and care, not less and definitely not condemnation.  The other side greets us with compassion.  Part of our lesson on this earth plane seems to be finding a way to take everything a little less seriously, to let go of resentments quickly, to forgive ourselves and others instantly.  As Billy says, “…there is no one to forgive, because we signed up to do this dance together before we were born.  We weren’t acting out some type of I-did-something-wrong-to-you-in-another-life-and-I’m-paying-for-it-now kind of thing.  It doesn’t really work like that… It’s more a kind of experiment chosen for soul-type reasons that humans have an almost impossible time understanding.  And not understanding is an important part of the experiment.”

If there is one criticism I have of the book, it is that there is not a lot of description of how the oneness occurs.  During my NDE, I saw from the perspective of others in my life review.  That part of the life review for most NDEers shows us where we have hurt and disappointed others, not as a form of punishment but as a way to fully understand our roles and the perspective of others.  I know that there is much compassion on the other side, but the ways we harmed or hurt others is something worth noting in the life review process.  The ways that we harm ourselves are only pitied, but in my experience the light seemed to wish that I could love myself more and open up to others more frequently.  I appreciate the compassion and benevolence described and know this is correct.  There is a bit of “relearning” about our roles that goes on outside the body.  Mabye this could have been explained a bit more.

However, this is actually a minor detail.  The book as a whole is a fantastic read.  I loved it and highly recommend this beautiful, unusual, uplifting book.

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