Near Death Experience Posts

Is It Possible to Make Peace with an Abusive Parent After Experiencing the True, Amazing Love of God?

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 25 Comments

My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream and to bring more healing to this world.

The Love of God:  One of the most shocking experiences of my near-death experience was feeling the love of God.  This love of God accepted me exactly as I was—all my thoughts and feelings.  I did not have to change my thoughts to please God.  I did not have to worry about whether God liked the look on my face or my interpretations of the world.

God loved me infinitely just as I am.  I didn’t have to change or pretend in any way.  God didn’t call me names, hit me, lock me in a closet, or invalidate anything about me.  God loved me without end.  I felt completely supported and without a single worry, experiencing only bliss, peace, and deep understanding. God immediately forgave me for all self-harm and showed me how to love myself more deeply.  God did not make me relive or see any of the abuse I had survived in life. I had never known a love like this  growing up or what it felt like to be supported.

One of the most common attributes of a narcissistic father or mother is the inability to understand or care about their child’s thoughts and feelings.  This parent is not able to validate their child’s feelings as real or important.  Empathy is simply out of the question.  If the child of a narcissist expresses displeasure with a parent, the parent will often explode with fury, threaten, storm, or rage.  The parent might become violent, beating or confining her child or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.   Once the child is strong enough to fight back, coldness and verbal abuse are usually the tactics.

motherMy Story:  Growing up, anything that I thought or felt, especially if it was different from my mother, made her angry, withholding, cold, or critical.  Often, this abuse was even spiritual in nature because she used the Bible as a reason to beat me.

However, Mom allowed and encouraged reading, so that was the way I could escape my lonely life.  I read at a 12th grade level by second grade, and I devoured any book I could get my hands on in the library or garage sales, often fantasizing that I might be sent away to a boarding school or that I might magically encounter a nice couple who would mentor me.

In the isolation of my home as an only child in the country, Mom painstakingly taught me to worry about her sadness, her depression, her angry feelings about my dad, her physical complaints, and her thoughts about the world and everyone in it. She coached me on who to like in her family and who not to like in her family.  If I liked someone she didn’t like, she rolled her eyes.  If she stopped liking one of my few friend’s mothers, then I was told that I no longer liked this close friend of mine either.  She taught me to be her counselor, her best friend, and her confidant.  I pretended as best that I could to survive my childhood, but honestly, at best there were only fleeting moments of fun.

takingcareNo one really witnessed the full extent of my mother’s abuse.  My father was rarely there, and I’m an only child. When my father’s parents stopped by unannounced, mother made us hide in the closet to avoid them.  They loved me so completely as their only grandchild, and she didn’t like it when I received that kind of adoration.  I remember a moment when she argued with my grandmother that I didn’t need a toy that I wanted.  My grandmother looked at her and said, “I want this child to know that we love her.”  The moment felt powerful to me, and I remember feeling excited at the cash register. We didn’t see them as much after that moment.

Around Mom’s family, she controlled of the narrative and talked about everything she sacrificed for me.  Mom certainly worked soul-crushing, blue-collar jobs to pay for my private Christian education through seventh grade.  The problem is that I would have rather had more food, decent clothes, trips to the doctor, and a public education where there were more people in my class than three or four students. I longed for more socialization.

Mom presented herself as a loving, doting mother, but in private I felt sucked dry.  She wanted me to make up for all the love she felt she didn’t receive from her own mother and her husband, but this scenario seemed a setup for a dramatic failure.  When did I get my needs met?  I don’t doubt that she feels that she loved me, but from my perspective most of what I experienced didn’t feel like love.   I feel compassion for the young, lost woman who raised me, but my biggest lesson in life has been learning how to feel great compassion for myself.

Mom rarely considered my honest needs. Sometimes, I got lucky and wanted the same things that she wanted.  We both enjoyed walks in nature, fresh fruit, and dogs as pets.  We both enjoyed a few of the same movies, though my tastes eventually changed and different from her always meant wrong.  For a few years in childhood, I experienced the bliss of owning a horse, and that freedom to ride fast and far away from my life meant everything to me.

pleaseSince Mom was all I knew of love, I thought love meant sacrificing every one of my feelings and ideas to make someone else feel a little better in their miserable life.  When her mental illness took a turn for the worse when I was in high school, I realized that she needed help; however, she refused help from the people I told about her frequent suicide threats.  There were many nights when she was alone with that pistol in her drawer, and when she threw the door open suddenly I always ran out of the house to put distance between us.  I didn’t know if she was going to shoot me first before she shot herself, and that level of terror changed something within me.

Though I had good grades, I didn’t realize how broken I was emotionally by the time I left for college, and I had no idea how to work on healing.  By the time I had my near-death experience my senior year of college, so much inside of me felt devastated and then in a single instant—-healed.

The near-death experience granted me a huge dose of optimism, love, and connection to God and angels.  Immediately, I felt whole and alive inside, despite my wounded body.  During my physical recovery Mom took care of me, and we got along better than ever before.  She had remarried, changed jobs, and seemed much happier.  I wish I could say that the near-death experience completely healed our relationship, but I can only say that the near-death experience eventually helped heal the gaping hole inside of me.  We don’t choose our family, but we can choose supportive friends.

neededAnd, no matter what happened in life, I could always remember and return to what it felt like to be loved by God.  No matter who validated me or didn’t validate me, that moment in the presence of God showed me my worth.  I never knew that I was worthy of even an ounce of that love and consideration.

I’m sure my mother doesn’t realize she is worthy of that level of love.  Her religious beliefs are ones that validate her narcissism and deep need to feel superior to others.  In her mind, only she, and a few select others, know the “truth.” The way everyone else interprets the Bible and God is incorrect.  She owns the market on being right as she stockpiles food and fears the apocalypse is around the corner.  She’s been fearing that since the 1980’s.  I wish she felt less fear and more connection to a loving God.

I’ve seen interviews with other near-death experiencers whose parents felt blessed to hear their stories of the afterlife.  My mouth dropped open in amazement at what it might have felt like to have a mother who learned something from me.  There were snippets of time when Mom understood the power of that love I experienced on the other side, but ultimately she tried to convince me that I had experienced a lie—tricks from the devil.  How ridiculous!  Most of my life with her felt like a trick, not love.

When To Tell Your Story:  Many people wait until their abusive parents die before they talk openly about their experiences.  Tony Robbins waited and describes deep love and forgiveness for his abusive mother.  However, several others have decided to not have  contact (or minimal/harmonious contact) with abusive, narcissistic parents and speak openly to help others come to the best, safest conclusion for their lives.  I am enormously grateful to the work and teachings of Lisa A. Romano who speaks openly about her experiences and helps so many people.

The sooner people begin a healing process after surviving an abusive home, the sooner they can begin to heal and have healthier relationships.  Abused children sometimes don’t have children of their own out of fear, but if they start healing work soon in life they realize how different they probably would be as parents than their own parents.

During my NDE, God told me to return and to work as a teacher.  Since that time, I have been a mentor and caring person in the lives of many of my students who have survived abusive homes. Abuse of many varieties is all too common in family units.  Telling a snippet of my story to students who were in pain allowed them to tell me what was occurring in their lives so that I could get help for them.  One of the greatest gifts of pain is the ability to point others in the direction of healing.

I know that many spiritual people want to center love and peace in all situations, no matter how toxic their family members might be.  For those who can do this, I honor that ability.  I tried to do this with my mother, but I recently had a defining moment when I realized that my life, my health, my well-being, and my trip to the emergency room didn’t matter as much to her as the contents of her refrigerator.  She endangered my life and did not care.

When I realized how little my life mattered to my mother, I knew I had to take a break from her.  I don’t know the future, and I don’t know what healing might be possible in her life.  Maybe a rebirth can occur and a different type of relationship between us can manifest, but this might also be the death of our relationship.  I know people with childhoods like mine who haven’t spoken to their parents in ten years.  All I know right now is that I want people to pray for her.  I want other people to center love and peace in her life.  I want her to know the love of God that I felt in the afterlife, and I want her to know that I wish our story was a different one.

img_1882Your story might offer a different outcome with a toxic family member.  There might be a way for you to calmly listen to your family member and center kindness without putting yourself in danger.  Your love might transform this person over time.  I hope so, but if you decide not to have contact with someone in order to heal yourself from narcissistic abuse there are many support groups online and otherwise. Choose the sanctity and healing of your own life.  Life isn’t a “who is the most spiritual contest.”  In fact, if someone is playing that game, that person is probably a narcissist.  Love who you can authentically love.  Love is not torture; rather, it is easy as breathing when it is right.

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The Healing Power of True Stories

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 5 Comments

I feel blessed and lucky to have had the chance to speak and attend the Denver IANDS conference this summer.  At the conference, I heard Dr. Eben Alexander and Mark Anthony’s talks.  Proof of Heaven and  Never Letting Go were influential and helpful books on my journey.

Many NDErs say the same things in different ways.  Because I loved Proof of Heaven so much, I considered not taking the time to write my own story.  However, at some point, I realized that my journey as a woman, a survivor, a traveler, a teacher, a dreamer, a poet, and a mystic needed to be written.  True stories have powerful healing potential for the writer and the readers.   We long for community and connection, and the journeys of others bless us in countless ways.  A book written in service of others should be raw and honest enough to connect with the right audience, crafted well enough to entertain, and sprinkled with inspiration.

Most people long to transcend the patterns and blocks that hold them back.  They want to break through these blocks like high school football players running through a banner into the best game of their lives.   I am certain that the world needs more true stories of eventual triumph, a deep connection to others, and communion with the divine.  We live to learn how to shine, to light the way, and to pass the torch on to others.

Tell your stories to the world.  Stand in your creative power, your connection to the light, and watch your world transform.




 

Inspirational Quotes

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / Leave a comment

My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream and to bring more healing to this world. These quotes are taken from my book.


 

Awakening Without Seeking It

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 4 Comments

What is unique about a near-death experience is that this awakening often happens to people who were not seeking it.

A near-death experiencer may or may not have interest in spirituality before the event, yet they frequently return with a profound sense that consciousness continues beyond death and that reality is far larger than materialistic views.

For me, the experience was life changing. In a matter of moments, my understanding of life expanded beyond anything I had imagined possible.

Returning to ordinary life was both beautiful and challenging. Part of me was grateful to be alive and eager to continue my education. Another part of me could never forget what I had witnessed. I was obsessed and read countless books about spirituality while recovering from my accident. When I returned to college, I did not have the same interests or insecurities. I had so much more gratitude and a feeling of being connected to everyone and everything.

One of the strongest impressions I carried back was the importance of love. That sounds simple until we attempt to practice it. It is easy to love people who agree with us or treat us well. It is much harder to respond with wisdom, compassion, and healthy boundaries when faced with fear, anger, or aggression.

Love is not passivity. Sometimes love means protecting the vulnerable. Sometimes it means preventing harm. Sometimes it means holding a vision of healing for those who have been wounded. Love is both an action and a state of being.

I am not suggesting that near-death experiencers return as enlightened beings. We come back with personalities, emotional wounds, and challenges just like everyone else. Yet, many experiencers do return with a deep awareness that there is more to life than achievement, accumulation, or survival.

The moment I left my body, I knew that consciousness continued beyond physical death. I encountered a reality that felt more vivid and more “real” than ordinary life. Through direct experience, I understood that we are connected to something far greater than our individual identities.

No matter what happened afterward, I could never unknow that.

From that perspective, many of the things that consume us here appeared far less important. The struggles, fears, and disappointments that seemed so significant in life faded into the background. What remained was love, kindness, mercy, and connection.

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Many experiencers report similar aftereffects. They often become less fearful of death, more compassionate toward others, and more sensitive to the world around them. Yet they must still learn how to integrate these insights into ordinary human life.

One aspect of my experience felt similar to what many spiritual traditions describe as enlightenment or non-dual awareness. As my consciousness expanded, my sense of separation dissolved. I felt connected to other people, to nature, and to the divine in a way that is difficult to describe with words.

However, returning to routines and systems naturally pulled me back into individuality. Bills still needed to be paid. Relationships still required attention. Old wounds and patterns still surfaced. Yet the memory of that deeper connection remained.

The challenge became learning how to carry some of that awareness into everyday life.

Awakening is not a permanent state. It is a practice of remembering. It is choosing compassion over judgment, gratitude over resentment, and presence over distraction. It is remembering that beneath our fears and differences, we are far more connected than we realize.

The question then becomes: How do we live in a world that is often fearful, divided, and reactive without becoming fearful, divided, and reactive ourselves?

Part of the answer is learning when to detach and when to engage. We step back from the noise at times, but we engage passionately and lovingly far more often. We do our best to extend goodwill to every human being, even when it feels difficult. Most of us start with the easy ones: our families, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and the people we encounter each day.

We are striving to have minds that are less focused on greed, hatred, and fear while living in a world where these forces constantly compete for our attention. This is not easy work. When we fall into anger, resentment, or judgment, the answer is not self-condemnation. We meet those parts of ourselves with compassion. We heal them so that we can better support the healing of others.

Over time, we become less attached to every passing emotion. Feelings still arise, but they move through us more quickly. We learn to observe them without building a home inside them.

Gratitude also becomes an important practice. After my accident, gratitude came naturally. I was grateful for every breath, every painful step, and every bite of food. Simply being alive felt miraculous. This does not mean ignoring injustice or pretending everything is fine. I’ve never advocated spiritual bypass. What I have advocated is being happy. We don’t have to allow and ignore harmful behavior but we can grow in our reactions and ease our triggers to achieve more healthy detachment from the brokenness in others. This allows us to demonstrate spiritual and emotional maturity.

In the presence of God during my near-death experience, there was no sense of “I’m right and you’re wrong.” There was only love, understanding, and a profound recognition of our shared humanity.

That memory continues to guide me. However, like everyone else, I get frustrated, hurt, and discouraged. But the experience gave me a reference point for what is possible. It showed me that beneath the noise of everyday life, there is a deeper reality rooted in love and connection.

Many spiritual traditions teach that awakening is our true nature. Near-death experiences often provide a direct glimpse of that possibility. The work afterward is learning how to embody those insights while living an ordinary human life.

My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me about Healing, Survival, and Transformation, explores the near-death experience that transformed my understanding of life, healing, and consciousness. More importantly, it explores what happened afterward. The experience itself lasted only a short time, but integrating it into everyday life has been a lifelong journey.

To All Near-Death Experiencers

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 5 Comments

man in yellow field

Write and speak about your experience.

People want to hear your story.  Go to local IANDS groups and get to know other experiencers sooner not later.  Hearing from other experiencers will make you feel less alone in your travels outside of form.   (Also, if you have a friend or family member who has had a NDE, encourage this person to get involved and talk more about their experience.)

I always feel like I’ve found a brother or sister when I meet another experiencer because we immediately share a certain knowing, a knowing that is difficult to put into words.

First, we know what it is like to be outside of form.

We know what it is like to shake off this body and look down at our physical body and realize that we are more than form.  We know what it is like to be only our soul, without the body.

Though people talk about spiritual experiences while in form, a near-death experience is unlike any other spiritual experience.  Since my NDE, I’ve felt the presence of masters, guides, angels, and archangels while in form, but nothing has ever compared to my near-death experience.  When the veil is lifted and form is shrugged off, that environment is a clear reality.  I’ve had amazing meditations, lucid dreams, intense relationships, paranormal experiences, and instant healings, but nothing comes close to the experience of leaving this body behind and realizing that our journey is never-ending.

This experience cannot be exactly duplicated without physically dying, and the physical pain that accompanies this is NOT something NDErs are excited to replicate. However, we don’t fear death because we know our eternal nature.

I’ve heard that some people have used Ketamine to induce experiences similar to a NDE and Ayahuasca for healings and spiritual experiences.   Here is an example of someone who compared a drug induced experience to his NDE.  Personally, I am not open to experimenting with these substances to compare them to my near-death experience.  I am more interested in focusing on health, healing, and deepening connection to the divine.

Though these drug induced experiences might allow some people to transcend their senses and come to many of the same conclusions as NDErs, I can’t help but think that the actual physical trauma of a real death induces something more intense.   What is interesting about these drug-induced experiences is that most people believe that they have accessed a portal to the other side.  Like NDErs, they are filled with certainty that this is not the chemistry in their brain but their brain simply allowing them to perceive reality that they were not able to sense before.

Secondly, many NDErs have met with angels or guides while outside of form.

We know what it is like to communicate telepathically and receive information quickly.  Information can be many things at once—it can be healing, comforting, uplifting, upgrading, and transformative.   We might be healed by these guides or prepared for the next part of our near-death experience.  Sometimes, they help prepare us to return to our bodies and remind us of certain truths.

I continue to communicate with angels, guides, masters, and loved ones on the other side, but my communications with angels during my surgery and NDE were particularly powerful. These angels were large, intelligent, focused, and glowing.  I couldn’t stop staring at them.  When I communicate with angels now, the communication feels different from that moment.  I might hear messages or feel as softening or healing of something.   I might find an answer to a problem in an unusual way because of an angelic message.  The NDE placed me literally in a life or death situation, so the stakes were higher; the drama was intensified, to put it mildly.

Some mediums and psychics have communicated with the other realm for most of their lives.  NDErs were often not interested in gaining this ability, but the NDE can open people to these gifts after their experience.  Aftereffects can be disorienting.  I made a video about some of my aftereffects.

Thirdly, many of us have seen loved ones on the other side, and these loved ones usually appear in peak condition, younger and healthier than they might have been in life. 

My grandfather died when I was ten years old, so I hardly recognized the younger version of him in the afterlife.  His essence comforted me though, and upon later reflection when I looked at a picture of him as a younger man I realized that the man asking me if I wanted to continue toward the light of God was my grandfather.

A friend of mine recently pointed out that seeing our relatives in their younger states is a common trait among NDErs.  For those who still worry that NDEs are only a function of the brain shutting down, it might be worth noting that these commonalities during NDEs probably can’t be explained as a function of the brain shutting down.  And, on a logical level, if you had to pick a spiritual form after death, wouldn’t you pick a form when you felt healthy, happy, and vital?

Fourthly, I’ve never met ANYONE who had a NDE who thought that what they experienced was a dream or their brain shutting down. 

For us, these experiences are usually more real than this reality.  I explain it as adding several more dimensions to this reality.   Although I was initially afraid that all the morphine I had to take after surgery might wash away my memory of the other side, I quickly realized that I was changed as a person.  My insights were deeper and more layered.  I was much more sensitive to sights, sounds, and experiences.  I was not the same person after my NDE.   However, NDErs do return to our lives, our psychological wounds, and our proclivities.  My up-coming book examines the journey back to a place where I could fully incorporate the truths of the NDE.

Last of all, for those of us with NDEs that included being in the presence of a  powerful, divine light of God we often feel great wonder and amazement at how good we felt in the presence of God.

I had never felt that loved, that alive, that healed, that joyful, that peaceful all at once.  I was whole, complete, and connected to the most amazing force imaginable.  God wanted me to know that I am a part of God and should remind others of their light and connection to source.  Life is much better when we focus on the light of God and not all that is at odds with perfection.

Get Involved:  I’m writing this piece to encourage all NDErs to communicate their experiences.  If family members are not interested in your experience, find friends who are open.  Find IANDS groups and other supportive communities.   Even though it might prove difficult to translate these experiences into descriptions that make sense to others—keep trying.  When you have transcended the senses and experienced life beyond the body, language sometimes seems inaccurate.  Use analogies.  Make up terms that make sense to you.  We will follow where you go.

Skeptics and Others:  Don’t fear that others will think you are crazy.  Some of them will.  Who cares?  There is a big tribe of people who are believers, and there are plenty of experiencers themselves who will talk with you.  These experiences are becoming more common.  It gets harder to deny them the more of us who speak openly.

Just as I have enjoyed meeting other experiencers, it is a great pleasure to meet others who have read widely about this subject or who have had paranormal or transformative spiritual experiences themselves. You will find people who understand your experience, so don’t be afraid to get involved.

Certainly, some people will attack you, mainly evangelicals if you didn’t see Jesus, or people who would prefer to believe that there is a scientific explanation for our spiritual reality.   You might lose some friends, but you will enlighten others and gain plenty more friends.  You will comfort countless others who have lost loved ones and long to know that they are safe and loved.

Some skeptics might simply ask you more questions.  I had a fellow writer ask me to describe with more detail the healing light the angels sent into my body during surgery. He asked if the light was like a laser beam or a headlight.  How can I describe a light that is both intelligent and healing?  It was both like a laser like and like headlight.  It entered my body and healed my body while it communicated to me what was occurring.  Simply put, this is not like any other light we have experienced on this plane of existence.

Uncommon Elements:  Don’t be afraid if your story contains elements that are not common to NDEs.  We are all individuals, and I believe that the other side meets us where we need to be met and teaches us the lessons that we need.  Even those who have had disturbing NDEs or hellish experiences, have gained a lot from these experiences and returned to life full of greater resolve and optimism.

I was happy to feature a story on my blog about Ethan Michael Carter’s eight deaths.  I’m not certain that I’ve heard of anyone who has had more than three NDEs.  Ed Salisbury and Dannion Brinkley have both had three NDEs.  I feel like I’ve discovered someone who has traveled frequently to the Other Realms, as he calls it. Though Ethan Carter’s NDEs were recent, I hope that he continues to unpack and write about his experiences and the lessons learned in these Other Realms.

My NDE:  When I had my NDE, I was young, wild, and lost.  It was amusing to write about all my friends reactions to my experience, and I was never the same after that moment.  Even when I tried to forget my travels to the other side, I couldn’t forget.  Even when I was angry with my life experiences and challenges, I couldn’t deny that healing of these experiences could happen quicker because of my connection to the other side.

Awakening accelerates when we walk through challenges because we are connected to more people and capable of helping many others both for overcoming our challenges and for our ability to manifest beauty, peace, compassion, and freedom in our lives.

When we all remember our connection to God, we allow ourselves to let go of all that we don’t need and embrace all that we want to experience on this journey.  On the other side, pain and darkness immediately washed away.  Love is what remains and what matters.

I wish I had written about my NDE sooner.  I wish I had been more involved in IANDS throughout my life.  However, I am involved now, and this involvement had enriched my life.  Writing about my NDE has kept the light of God in the forefront of my consciousness and that is a beautiful gift.  I hope you embrace that gift.

If you are interested in a book that comprehensively covers the various types of NDEs, I wrote a review of Dr. Jeffrey Long’s book God and the Afterlife.  

Most of all, if you are an experiencer, I hope that you find local groups and online communities that support you on your journey.

My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream and to bring more healing to this world.

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Teacher Appreciation Day, Rita on Netflix, Mother’s Day, and Compassion

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 5 Comments

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My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, is available for pre-order.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love your support of a pre-order.  My aim is to help make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I love a blank page.  The cursor never blinks for long because my fingers can’t keep up with my mind if they tried, even at 80 wpm.  I might have to delete or reorganize later, but I don’t ever think, “Oh dear…what am I going to write?”

I swear, since birth, the repressed desires of centuries of oppressed women have flowed through my veins, and I came into this world ready to rumble, not to conform.  Generation Xers are not all rebels and renegades, but certainly that possibility was real for us.

Rita and Teacher Appreciation Day:  Speaking of rebels, this weekend I watched several episodes from a Danish comedy-drama on Netflix called Rita.  The way that she fights for some of her students, especially the ones who were overlooked by the system or harmed by their parents reminds me a bit of myself when I taught junior high and high school.  Luckily, I don’t smoke like her, and I avoided physical intimacy with all co-workers and administrators.  I was blamelessness in those areas, but some of my ideas and ways of teaching were off-putting to some parents.  I taught mindfulness and meditation in the early 2000’s, long before it was in vogue.

The practice facilitated deep change for some of my emotionally unstable students, but parents in that small town went to war with me, making all kinds of assumptions.  In their minds, I was a witch to be burned for teaching their kids how to breathe and calm their minds because the practice originated from Buddhism.  I did my best to educate the parents, but their dramatics eventually got the poor superintendent involved when all he wanted to do was watch a football game.

He listened to the CD I played for the kids and said he didn’t see anything wrong with it; however, he also didn’t want to be bothered by the commotion the parents caused. I continued to reserve breathing time with relaxing music, but it wasn’t the same as the guided meditation that taught the students how to breathe deeply and let go of their worries.  Eventually, we stopped the practice, and we missed it.

Early in the Netflix series, the character Rita is asked why she became a teacher, and she finally answers, “To save them from their parents.”  Though I’ve taught plenty of students who came from loving family units, I encountered so many who didn’t.  Those were the students who needed me the most.  Sometimes, their destinies were altered, as mine was, by a teacher who could see their value and remind them of it.  And even the students who came from wonderful families, sometimes thanked me for introducing them to new perspectives or new pieces of literature.

This is my first day of summer break.  I’m exhausted.  It’s been one of the roughest overloaded semesters I’ve ever experienced, clumping through the long hallways in my boot after a very badly sprained ankle.  I am beat up.  I’m not even sure that a summer will be enough time to recharge.   I’ve spent most of the weekends for two months doing little besides grading essays.  And I do, like many teachers and professors, teach summer classes.  Luckily, these classes are online.

Sure, sure…I can list all the things I’m grateful for right now—a wonderful job, health insurance, my health, lots of travel on the horizon, a completed, mostly revised manuscript, friends who have recently helped me locate the typos and missed words, new friends, old friends, free time for reading, and time to swim in the sun and reverse my vitamin D deficiency….but I want others to understand that when teaching is done well it is a holy and wonderful profession that takes an enormous amount of planning, creativity, and energy.

I’ve mentioned before that I received a loud message from God, that my spiritual contract to teach is completed, and I can do what I want now.  I am in the process of determining what it is that I want to do, so for now I continue to teach because I still love working with the students.

However, I know that manifestation is sometimes just a matter of becoming clear about what you want.

Mother’s Day:  Biologically speaking, I’ll never be a mother.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever adopt or foster a child, but if I was to die tomorrow, I would probably be more pissed about never traveling to Italy and Greece than about not having children.

If that sounds cold, please understand that I was quite clear that I could only save myself and possibly influence the lives of some of my students in positive, uplifting ways.  That was the extent of my abilities, given the emotional damage of my childhood and young adulthood, and given how difficult I know that some relationships and marriages can become.  I watched too many parents who hoped for the best and had kids with limited financials and deep-seated emotional and personality disorders. They went on to create massive drama, not realizing what they were doing to their kid’s lives.  They didn’t invest in themselves first and develop the spiritual, mental, and physical strength that would make them stronger support systems for their kids.

As a teacher, I practiced damage control with the self-esteems and minds of many students.   After all, this was my mission from God.  After my NDE, I was told to be a teacher.  Given time to heal physically after a massive surgery, I thought deeply about all the teachers and professors I had experienced in my life and tried to take the best traits from those who were amazing and avoid the mistakes of those who were rude, sexist, narcissistic, or bored with the profession.  God didn’t tell me to, “…return and have a child or many children.”  God implied that my journey was to speak with thousands of people and remind them of their light and divinity.

Do I ever have moments of emptiness or miss the joy and innocence of a child of my own?  Certainly, I do.  But, these are fleeting moments, and they usually only happen around Christmas or Mother’s Day.  I spend a lot more of my time, waking up late on the weekends, stretching leisurely after awesome sleep, and going to movies, concerts, plays, museums, and restaurants that aren’t exactly kid friendly.  I found time to write a manuscript while teaching full-time with extra classes added to my load.

I know that there are people who can “have it all…and do it all…”  I would not have been one of those people.  Without making the choice to not have children, I could not have been as effective of a teacher and professor.  I could not have worked full-time throughout my entire adult life, and I could not have healed to the degree that I have healed from my past. I could not have worked with my chronic physical pain naturally and deeply as I have if I would have had kids. People will want to argue with me and say that having kids might have healed me quicker or in a deeper way, but this is my life, and I vehemently reserve the right to wholeheartedly disagree—teaching is what healed me.

My grandmother once chastised my cousin for not having kids. (She’s given up on me:-) I’m respectful and didn’t argue with her.  However, her main reason was, “You’ll die alone.”  My grandfather died very young, and my grandmother had a boyfriend for several decades.  When her boyfriend died, his offspring were not with him and they didn’t visit often.  My grandmother was with him, rubbing his back and reminding the nurses to check on him.

Sometimes, even the children you have may not be the ones with you at the end.  They aren’t brought into this world to help their parents transition to the next part of life.  They might very well do this, but that might not be their sole purpose.  Maybe my grandmother’s boyfriend wasn’t a super father; maybe he was a better boyfriend than he was a father.  Maybe the exact right person was there for him to help him transition.

I wanted to remind my grandmother than my cousin will probably not outlive his fiance/soon to be wife. Whether they have kids or not, she will most likely be the one by his bedside. I wanted to remind her that I’m a near-death experiencer.  I will greet death with a smile and a leap into the afterlife, no matter who is in the room with me or not.  I don’t like the physical pain that takes us there, but I’ll take that leap with joy in my heart, even if I can’t muster a smile.  If there is one thing a near-death experience gives most people, it is a complete and utter lack of fear about the dying process.  How and where I die was not a reason to have kids.

In Kate Chopin’s book, The Awakening, the quote, “A feeling of exultation overtook her, as if some power of significant import had been given her to control the working of her body and her soul. She grew daring and reckless, overestimating her strength. She wanted to swim far out, where no woman had swum before…” has always stayed with me as both a warning and a reward.

I knew that I could swim farther and faster and still return because Chopin and planted the seed that it is o.k. for some women not to want to be mothers.  They are beautiful as individuals and worthy of respect.

Maybe these women have more time for contemplation and diving deep.  Perhaps they might be one of the ones helping you transition to the other side because they don’t have children to run home to that day.  Maybe they are they are the ones who stay up the long nights with you in hospice.  Possibly they are the ones who spend trying evenings on the phone with CPS, working to find a way to keep their students safe when other teachers didn’t even bother to ask what was going on in the lives of these students. And, maybe, someday, our country might have a female president who didn’t have kids.

I’m not saying that mothers can’t also do these things.  I’m saying that not having kids does give a person time to help the world in ways that others might spend time with their children. Those who don’t have kids have societal value, and it is a shame people don’t automatically realize this.

I’m sure as Morrie said in Tuesdays with Morrie that there is nothing to compare to the experience of having children.   However, I’ve seen so many people pride themselves on the biological act  of simply reproducing when being a good parent is the only thing to celebrate.

Compassion:  Not having kids makes you more of a target of disgust, pity, anger, and other societal judgement.  I have deep compassion for the mothers and fathers of this world.  It is an incredibly difficult job to do well, and I applaud those who do and those who are trying their best.  I have deep compassion for divorced parents trying to fashion the best possible life for their child and dealing with a difficult ex-wife or ex-husband, or even reasonable one.

I have friends who had kids early, had kids after college, wanted to have kids and couldn’t, had kids and lost them to disease or an accident.  I also have friends who really didn’t want kids and definitely didn’t have them.  If I can have compassion and celebrate everyone else’s struggles and joys, why don’t we all celebrate those who didn’t have children.  Personally, I love my life!

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Meditation & Out-Of-Body-Experiences

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 13 Comments
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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.
I’m happy to include another guest post about a beautiful out-of-body-experience.  Personally, I know that meditation practices can make us more open to these experiences.  Enjoy this story from across the pond.

On the River by Will H.

I started meditation in my late teens and in my twenties attended a number of silent mindfulness retreats, which I very much enjoyed.  By nature, I’m a morning person and find that the early morning is the best time to practice meditation at home; the mind is usually quieter and well rested after a good night’s sleep.    Years ago, however, I would also meditate at night just before going to bed.  Somewhat to my surprise, I noticed that this had an unexpected effect on my dreams.

As a general rule, I found that practicing mindfulness for 30-40 minutes or so before going to sleep made dreams easier to recollect, deeper and more vivid…. a bit like tuning an old fuzzy TV so the picture quality improves.   I once had dream of a roe deer on the farm, which then turned into what appeared to be an old shaman.  The shaman tried his best to communicate deep and important personal truths that I strained to hear but frustratingly couldn’t quite grasp. Earlier still, another memorable dream foretold the future sale of the family farm some 7 years later when the full symbolic meaning came to pass.  Interestingly, I later read a wonderful book by Piers Vitebsky called ‘Reindeer People’ about the nomadic reindeer herders of Siberia who it turns out have a name for just this sort of pre-cognitive dream that is only later fully understood with the passage of time.

All these deeper dreams as a result of pre-bed meditation seemed to involve the local countryside and tended to have what I thought of as shamanic rather than Buddhist motifs.  I found this surprising at the time as mindfulness is really an Asian Buddhist practice.   It’s only more recently that Burmese Buddhist elements have appeared in my dreams and even then quite infrequently.

The particular dream happened about 17 years ago and was an out-of-body dream.  I lived at the time by a beautiful river in Southern England and the historical birthplace of fly-fishing.   Rivers are mostly privately owned in Britain and my family had a farm that had diversified, so we sold fly-fishing days as a way to keep the farm viable.   My home was a mill cottage, well over 100 year old with two braids of the river flowing on either side, quite something in the summer!  In the off-season winter months, we would look after the river, doing habitat and riverbank restoration work with a small team of men.  I had big plans for improving both the fishing and the in-stream ecology.

One night around this time I woke up to find myself looking down at my own body asleep in bed from a vantage point on the ceiling.  I guess you could call this a lucid dream where you wake up and yet simultaneously remain firmly in the dream state.

No sooner had I registered this most unusual out-of-body experience looking at my own body, than a luminous oval sphere of light then came in through the window – sliver blue in colour it paused by my bed.   As I looked down I could see that this ball of light exerted a suction on my left side about level with my ribcage and out popped another blue-silver ball of light.  “Ah, this must be my one,” I immediately thought to myself.

My visitor spoke to me telepathically although seemed a little uncertain of how to address me, “Come on Will, come on William – we have to go and look at the river”.

So, I left my bedroom as a ball of light following another ball of light up and out of the window.  We flew low to the river like a pair of brilliant blue kingfishers to a place upstream where the real-life team had been working that same week on riverbank repairs.  We paused and looked at the work though no further words were exchanged.

I knew without doubt who the other blue ball of light was – It was Leslie, a river-keeper who had tended the river before I was born.    What I know is that he had a heart condition, forgot to take his medication and died suddenly around the time my mother was pregnant with me in the early 1970’s.

I subsequently learned that Leslie was one of the great old-school river keepers.  A man devoted to the care of the river, he would cut the riverweed by hand wading in the water with a scythe in the days before mechanical cutting.   They told me Leslie would start work on the river at 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. on summer mornings, unthinkable to our more lazy generation!

Whilst it was many years ago that I had this dream and the family farm was sold not long after, it has stayed with me all this time.  I well remember waking up and feeling this great inner conviction regards two things following that dream.

Firstly, I felt a certainty that physical death was not the end. How could it be?  I’d just met a dead person!  Secondly, I was really struck by how someone could still care about a river over 30 years after their own death; it was emotionally humbling and made me wonder again what exactly happens after we pass on.

A final strange twist was that a few weeks after having this dream, I was distributing some pamphlets advertising our fishing business; I went into the local village Post-Office and asked if I could leave some there.  An attractive woman behind the counter took a glance and then said with a smile “Oh my grandfather used to work there as a river-keeper – his name was Leslie.”   I felt close to mentioning the extraordinary dream experience but I held back, something that I perhaps regret now.  I’d never met any of Leslie’s family before (or since) so maybe I should have said something.

In my own defense, out-of-body mystical experiences involving the dead are not topics that we Brits normally talk about on first meeting!  What was I really going to say?  “Oh yes, I met your long-dead Grandpa two weeks ago, he got me out of bed to look at the river work we’re doing!”

I find it encouraging that thanks to the internet, we can now share these sorts of unusual experiences, and I hope with time all will be more accepting of them in everyday life.

Will H, England. April 2017.

 

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Just Remember Compassion

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 8 Comments

 

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Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

Just Remember Compassion

Go ahead and work hard to manifest every single one of your dreams.  Build the company you wanted to build.  Start the non-profit.  Win the awards you dreamed of winning, but don’t forget compassion.

Go ahead and marry the guy or girl many others wanted.  Travel to Cozumel, Tahiti, and Rome.  Get a new home every decade and move up in your company, but don’t forget compassion.

Go ahead and train for your first race.  Win and keep training.  Take your efforts to their maximum and beyond. Smile for the cameras as everyone watches as you blast into fame in those blessed 500 meters of your life, but don’t forget compassion.

Go ahead and write the novel that gets a big publishing contract.  Get the movie deal and the house in Encinitas, but don’t forget compassion.

Because…the business can fail, the non-profit can flounder, and awards can be a thing of the past.  Divorce, sickness, and disaster is the rain that falls into many lives, and athletes whose faces were known around the world in their twenties sometimes have trouble getting out of bed in their forties or fifties, their bodies wracked with pain.  The writer who was the envy of all his or her peers sometimes dies alone with a television or a cat, so extend compassion to everyone like it is breath.

When you judge another’s weaknesses, you judge yourself because we will all succumb to frailty.  The flower blooms, but even when we are green, we are also dying.  Even when we are dying though, we are sometimes simply learning what it means to live with compassion for all beings.

So, why not learn the lesson now?  Why not live as if you are already home?  Have compassion for everyone on God’s green earth and everyone who has come before you and everyone who will come after you.

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During my near-death experience, one of the aspects of the divine love of God was compassion.  There were many aspects to this megadose of love, but compassion was one of the feelings.  To simply feel God’s acceptance and love as I was without judgment seemed way out of the ordinary for me.  In my life before my NDE, I encountered people who were often judgmental, and I didn’t always extend compassion myself.

The longer I live, the more I realize that one of the most important things we can do is to extend compassion both to ourselves and others in all moments of life, even in small moments when we are frustrated in traffic or unable to sleep.  Try showing yourself a bit more compassion.  The very act of showing compassion for yourself seems to free up space and allows things to shift.

What I’ve Learned from One Year of Blogging

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 20 Comments

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Update:  My memoir Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation can be pre-ordered now.  It is a #1 new release in several categories.

If You are Prolific, Be Specific. 

After National Geographic interviewed me about my near-death experience, I started this blog. Seventy-nine posts and over 100,000 words later, I’ve learned a few things about blogging.

Being extremely intentional with your posts could help you create a novel.  The manuscript I’ve completed, Angels in the OR, was revised from 96,000 words to the final product of a little over 60,000 words.  If you write that much in a year, you might have the beginnings of a book.

If I would have realized I would write that much on my blog in a year, I might have been more focused with my posts.  I don’t regret the journey because learning is always exciting.  I’ve enjoyed writing book reviews as much as writing about after-death communications, writing about messages from my NDE as much as reflections about teaching.  This journey has taken me through a wild and beautiful landscape.

Consider Cultural Happenings and the News

Although we do not know which posts will get the most traffic, current events grab the attention of people, especially if you are writing about something that occurred in your area.  Also, being intentional about the world around you and anchoring love in the middle of chaos is a good practice.  The news can focus on the negative, but you can add your light, depth, and insights to certain situations.

Write Something Timely That Helps Others

One of my most popular posts is the post about completing the Medical Medium’s 28-day cleanse.  I wrote this because I hoped that my healing journey might encourage others with similar issues with chronic pain and autoimmune disorders to try the cleanse.  I was one of the first bloggers to document my experience with the 28-day cleanse, and I received a lot of support from Facebook communities devoted to the advice of The Medical Medium.  Facebook groups and Twitter groups can be a way to extend your blog’s reach.

Pay Attention to Those Who Reach Out to You and Pass on the Love

Shareen Mansfield who created OTV Magazine was one of the first bloggers to reach out to me.  I fell in love with many of her posts and the posts of those she publishes on OTV Magazine.  I even felt inspired to write an article for OTV.

Not only did I find supportive Facebook communities dedicated to topics of interest, but I found several wonderful writer’s blogs.  I witnessed several success stories and watched people like Raymond Baxtor take off with The Relationship Blogger this year.

Become a fan of blogs that move you.  Don’t just like posts, take the time to post thoughtful comments.  Create your own community and make it supportive and uplifting.  Consider showcasing the work of other bloggers and writers on your blog.

To My Friends!

Blogging, like social media, can lead to real connections and friendships.  This year, I’ve met angel communicators, NDErs, alien communicators, political activists, protesters, life coaches, health coaches, artists, poets, writers, ministers, college students, hospice workers, hospice volunteers, yoga teachers, meditation teachers, healers using a variety of modalities, mediums, naturopaths, shamans, and lots of people who read blogs.

Thank you readers, and thank you everyone for your emails.  I loved hearing from you whether you have shared your most profound loss, your greatest joy, deepest longing, or your earnest curiosity.  You are the you I was hoping to connect with in blogosphere.  I have a much larger tribe across the planet than I realized.

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What’s in a name?  Sometimes you are your own brand.  When you think Lorna Byrne http://lornabyrne.com/  you most likely think of her communication with angels.

When you think Gabby Bernstein, you most likely think turning fear into faith and living with divine guidance.  https://gabbybernstein.com/

When you think Tony Robbins, you think high intensity motivation.  https://www.tonyrobbins.com/

I simply guessed that after the National Geographic article, which featured a short blurb about my NDE, people would Google “Tricia Barker NDE” or “Tricia Barker Near-Death Experience.”   And they did.  To my surprise, tens of thousands of people used that specific search term.

In retrospect, this might not be the catchiest name for my blog, but it worked to a degree.  Will I change it in time?  Probably.

What should you name your blog?  Something you are happy with long-term.  Your name is not a bad idea if you are working to become a brand.

I hope that when my memoir, Angels in the OR, that readers might think, “If Tricia can experience that kind of divine sense of purpose and healing, then I can certainly live a greater life of divine purpose.”

Be Careful with Your Tags in a Porn-Infested Internet Landscape

I wrote several posts about rape culture and my experience with rape in South Korea.  Unfortunately, some people search “Teacher Rape South Korea Porn” and are directed to my post about being an English teacher, living in South Korea, and experiencing rape.

Porn can be toxic to healthy relationships, and Dr. Robert Jensen spoke about pornography at one of the colleges where I taught English; his message transformed the lives of many young men and women.

The Relationship Blogger caught my attention with his post about porn.  Whatever your level of comfort is with writing about sex, trauma, pornography, or otherwise, realize that tags can filter the wrong crowd to your blog.

On the other hand, if you have a sense of humor, you might use lots of kinky tags for of non-related articles to boost your stats.  “Two Girls Making Out” might direct someone to “How to Complete Your Taxes in Under Two Hours.”  Together, we could start a blogging revolution.

Other Technical Stuff

I have a basic WordPress account, and largely the format has worked for me.  I like the set-up, and the layout.  It is easy to use, and graphics make the posts look nicer.  Would I like a snazzier looking blog?  Sure.  Do I have issues that I haven’t fixed?  Of course.  I don’t even know how to delete the extra category.  I have “book reviews” and “Book Reviews” as categories.  Lol.  Help me!  Somebody…help me.

Lordy, Lordy, Haters and Trolls

Haters and trolls are probably in deep pain and lost in drama.  Don’t be like them.  Don’t write about the confusing, dramatic parts of your life until much later when you have wisdom and serenity.  Write from places where you are solid and can give advice to help others, not when you are bleeding half-to-death because there isn’t much clarity in that state of mind.  Write about a well healed scar and show others how to get through painful situations.

Bless the crap out of people who hate you, and even if some people behave so badly that you think they should come back as a tarantula in their next life or believe they are currently living out a reality as a tarantula in a multi-universe and that is why they are having such a difficult time being human, bless them until they go away and have and awakening far, far away from you.

Remember you only see a small picture, and God sees the entire picture.  Learn to see a bigger picture, and write to win.  Write something so undeniably transcendent that even your haters will nod and turn in the other direction because they know you are helping others.

One of my surprisingly popular posts is one about narcissistic abuse.  I’m not a psychologist, but I’ve experienced enough narcissistic abuse in my life to see the last of my innocence float away and return with understanding and with healing.  If you write about pain, write in a way to bring clarity or healing to a subject.

And if those haters and trolls still come after you, remind them how years of Krav Maga and other techniques have made you not just a fireball, but an atomic force of nature.

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Who Loves You, Baby?

Nobody and I mean nobody will love your baby blog more than you do.  Your pretend soulmate, your wannabe soulmate, your twin flame for a day, the friends who are a godsend for correcting your typos and grammatical errors, your life-long best friend, your new best friend, your favorite ex, your least favorite ex, and even your real, true honest to God in the flesh stand by your side partner for life will get busy and forget to read your blog.  You and God know your blog better than anyone else, so write to delight yourself.  Write to inform or help others who take the time to read your posts. Write something you would be proud of one year or even ten years from now.

Consider Your Top Ten Posts

After you have blogged for a while, take stock of your half-year or year.

Why were some posts more popular than others?  Do you want to make more posts in a similar vein to your most popular posts?

What surprised you about the journey?  What didn’t surprise you?

Take a Break

Why?  Because you can.  Because you might work on something other than a blog for a time.  Because it excites you to take a break.

However, if it feels more exciting to keep blogging, then keep on truckin.

I guess they can’t revoke your soul for tryin.—Grateful Dead

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Top Ten Posts

  1. Excerpt About the Angels
  2. Excerpt After the Angels
  3. Following the Advice of the Medical Medium’s Plan after the 28-Day Cleanse
  4. My Story as a Rape Victim and a Response to the Sentence for Brock Turner 
  5. Love Letter from God
  6. Messages from My NDE
  7. The Life and Eight Deaths of Ethan Michael Carter
  8. Lucky to Have Died, Lucky to Be Alive
  9. More About the Angels from My NDE
  10. Community College Instructor’s Response to Dallas Shooting

 

Recent Interview on Wisdom from North and A Few Thoughts about Prayer

/ Tricia Barker, Author of Angels in the OR / 2 Comments

Update on 1/19/19:  My memoir, Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival, and Transformation, can be pre-ordered now. It is a #1 new release in several categories.  I would love it if you helped me make near-death experiences more mainstream.

I loved talking with Jannecke Øinæs in a recent interview, and she challenged me to think about concepts in new ways.  In other posts, I’ve briefly mentioned the prayers I felt during my near-death experience, but I wanted to write more about prayer.

Prayer:  One of the saddest questions I’ve been asked by a reader of my blog is from someone wondering why prayer does not work in some cases. Prayer isn’t a way to manipulate reality; instead, it is more like a gentle, healing wind.  When my spirit was out of form, I felt the prayers of people I knew, and the prayers that moved me the most were the ones that were full of love.

Maybe the best that we can do when we pray is to pray with deep, unconditional love and to pray for the highest good in any situation. Even if our vision of world peace and a deeper connection to nature is at odds with the world around us, even if we don’t have the power to immediately shift the world to a better place, we can embody the type of love we want to see and send this love to the world with our prayers.

This isn’t easy after tragedy, but the best stories are the ones that make us cry with a rare form of joy and awe.  We are amazed by people who overcome incredible odds.  We are amazed when love wins in the darkest of situations.  I was surprised recently to see Tony Robbins talking more openly about the abuse he survived growing up, and how this abuse motivated him later to help others.  In an article in Men’s Journal, he reveals,

“I really stopped feeling sorry for myself. I stopped blaming my mother for everything that was wrong in my life. She was addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs. She also was abusive and would smash my head into a wall or fill my mouth with liquid soap until I threw up because she thought I was acting out of line. I never talked about her while she was alive, and I still love her to this day. The fact is if my mother had been the mother I hoped for, I wouldn’t be the man I am proud to be today. All of this is inside me somewhere, driving me to visit 14 countries in a year and work 50 hours on a weekend. I suffered so much, I didn’t want anyone else to suffer and I was obsessed with finding answers. Now I am obsessed with having the answers and sharing those answers.”

Robbins also talks about the books that influenced his thinking, as well as his newest book.

How does prayer help others?  It can give a lonely wanderer strength to make it to an oasis.  Prayer can be the wind that carries the drunk safely home.  Prayer can be a message to someone departing the planet like a secret note.  It can be a nod of farewell or greeting, a bow of respect, or a heart shaped text from one mind to another.

I never liked listening to pompous, showy prayers spoken out loud in the churches I grew up attending. Even as a child, it was obvious to me that the majority of those prayers were about the ego of the one speaking.  The one praying wanted others to see how much of the Bible he knew by heart.  If the child wasn’t impressed, then there probably wasn’t much unconditional love attached to the prayer.

As a child and as an adult, I was moved not only by authentic prayers, but authentic deeds. I was always motivated and moved by those who transformed pain into a mission to help others.  Robbins is a good example of that kind of mission.

Can we pray for angels to assist in certain situations?  I know we can and should pray for their assistance.  At different times in my life, I’ve been gifted the sight to see how many angels are around us all, and there are so many of them.  To not call on angels is to miss out on a great resource.  My angels were assistants in my surgery, and angels are available to us in dramatic situations and ordinary situations where we sometimes struggle.  The medical medium suggests calling on specific angels for specific needs.

Why are some prayers answered and not others? Everyone struggles with this question, and the angels say to simply not struggle.  When you are in a state of love, you are doing great things for your own physiology and psychology.  The outcome is not as important as the act of being in a state of love and connection like a flower blooming.  Reach for the sun, reach for your own nourishment, and shine. Be aware of the process of life, and send great love into the world.

Certainly, studies have proven that meditation and prayer can reduce crime when enough people are consistently anchoring that kind of peace in the world.  You may not immediately see your prayer’s effects, but some tragedies might be avoided because of the authentic, loving prayers you pray.  Light may dawn in the lives of those who would not have otherwise awakened.